Morning Jules,

Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

Hi Hope

Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

Hi Brian

Thanks for thinking about me.  I had a chat with my boss this morning and he told me there will be changes after Christmas more hours being cut etc as he doesn't want to make anyone redundant.

I felt sorry for him Brian while a few others didn't but that's me all over Brian.  He is honestly trying his best but you can't please everyone.

You can tell Mrs B that we didn't mix you up with someone else.  She probably sees a different side to the one we all see (only joking).  You sound like a good strong couple who put up with each other's faults and your bouts of Brianitus.  Haven't heard you mention those lately.

Take care Brian and regards to Mrs B.  Poor woman having to put up with you ha ha

Mickied

Hi Jules

I asked my daughter if she wanted to do anything for her 13th and she said just to go out for a meal.  Her sister by accident invited my mother-in-law along too.

I see your grandson will be 5 at the end of this month and a big party planned.  I remember doing the same for my eldest and all the kids you came behaved really well.  He will feel really special as his mum and dad will be there and baby will be getting looked after by grandma and grand-dad.

Hope the physio helps your husband.  Having a stiff shoulder is no laughing matter.  I had that myself a few months ago and you are restricted from doing anything with that arm.

That was some comment to come from a consultant obviously no beside manner towards his patient.

Glad to see your mum is keeping OK and looking after herself too by agreeing to getting her hair done.  You are just right Jules treating yourself to a new jumper for Christmas Day.

I treated myself too today to a mousse for the roots of my hair.  When the assistant explained it worked out at £2.50 for each application I agreed I had done the right thing and bought it.

It was £10.99.  I have never paid that much before for a colour for my hair usually the £5.00 mark is my norm but it needs it.

Well take care for now and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Hope

Thanks for the reply - the terrible teens more like Kevin and Perry.  If you ask her to do something she can't be bothered or will do it later. Hope your son enjoys his birthday.

How is your eldest getting on at Medical School?.  My friend's daughter is doing her course too which can last up to 7 years but she said it will be worth it in the end.

How's work going Hope?

Take care and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Hope

Trust you are having a peaceful week and I am sure having been able to move forward now that probate agreed makes some things a little easier. You should feel very proud of yourself for managing to visit banks on your own, daunting at the best of times let alone when you are grieving.  sometimes think we sort of go onto 'automatic pilot' just to  cope with day to day tasks.

Had another bad night last night (not sure why but suspect once awake the mind works overtime in the quietness!!!).  Hubby had physio yesterday and has exercises to do at home and goes back in a couple of weeks so hope it helps though he says little other than when I try the 20 questions route to have some sort of conversation - FRUSTRATING to say the least.  Think I am having more written conversations than verbal ones so thank goodness for the forum and people like yourself who are happy to listen to my waffling.

Mum was so so this week. Not so chatty but at least she had agreed to have a hair done (unlike the previous week when I thought she was on good form!!!).

Am off to work shortly and then hope to pop in to see our daughter and the children (probably pick up eldest from school).  She  is coping well now though still have to remind her to get plenty of rest when the baby sleeps.

Have a good weekend and hope to chat again soon.  regards and hugs Jules x

Hi Jules,

I'm sorry that your hubby isn't very talkative at present, I can understand how frustrating that must be - I love to talk and would find it very difficult getting little response. Likewise to find your Mum less chatty this week must also be difficult.  Thank goodness you have this site, we are always ready to chat on here! No doubt you will have fun later today when you see your grandchildren, glad your daughter is coping well now.

I'm relieved that I now have grant of probate, it is just another box to tick; however the house remains an issue as I've found out there is such a lot of work to be done if I want to get it up to scratch for renting. Intend to get further advice  and quotes and will then need to decide what to do for the best. Although I would like to keep it I also need to balance finances and also need to be able to move forward emotionally myself, so I will see.  I'm emotionally not in too bad a place just at the moment so am taking advantage of that as I'm sure another bad day will be ahead at some point.  Sunday I have a memorial service held by the hospice to attend for Mum, so it could even be then!

Mickied, thanks for asking after me and my eldest, he is absolutely loving med school - tons of work but he is in his glory.  Let's hope he will be a good future doctor.  Hope all is OK with you.

Take care my friends.  Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Thanks for the reply on the other thread. Good news is my latest blood test was okay and levels was back to normal so last one must have just been an anomaly.

My new headset has just arrived which I am very pleased with so will be able to get cracking on my stories again. Haven't done any writing for about three weeks so have a lot of catching up to do. I wish you well for your Bingo session tonight.

I hope you have a good weekend and will talk again soon, Brian.

Hi Brian, Jules and Hope

Hope all is well with you.  Starting to get a bit of a sore throat today but struggling on nonetheless.

We received a call from the police yesterday.  A few weeks ago a young female called to our house with a sponsor form for cancer.  My husband gave her a small donation and thought nothing else of it.

Apparently this young lady is being charged with fraud and had been going from different parts of the city looking sponsorship for a so called cycling event.  My husband had to call to our nearest station today to make a statement.  He said he can't even remember much about it.  Just shows you what people get up to.  I know times are hard but I would never consider conning people like that.

Well take care and chat next week

Mickied

Hi Mickied, Unbelievable about the sponsor form scam!  People who have no conscience and are able to carry out these cons obviously have been lucky enough to never have been affected by cancer, it makes me sick to think of people acting in that way.  Fortunately there are many good people in the world (a lot on here I might add), who understand the devastating effects of cancer, to even consider using the word for personal gain is appalling!

I hope all is well with you Mickied, have a good weekend.  Hope xx

Hi Jules,

Just wanted to pop up on your thread and say Hi and that I am following your latest news, but not always posting a response.

Have a good weekend and hope the sun is shining where you are. I'm hoping to convince my other half that a little walk in Derbyshire would be good for us both! Think I can clinch the deal with the promise of a pub lunch at the end of it!

Big hugs to you and your family, Jo xxx

Brill news Brian regarding your results and I am sure you will soon be cracking more nuts and planning more books now that the new equipment has arrived.  As the sun was shining this morning, once I had done the washing and ironing (boring but necessary!!) I set off to the local farmers market (treated myself to a large hot chocolate to keep our the chill) and also found a few bargains at the Charity shops for my winter wardrobe and a couple of social events planned (and hopefully attended together) over the next two months.

Hope you and MrsB have a peaceful weekend. Regards Jules x

Brill news Brian regarding your results and I am sure you will soon be cracking more nuts and planning more books now that the new equipment has arrived.  As the sun was shining this morning, once I had done the washing and ironing (boring but necessary!!) I set off to the local farmers market (treated myself to a large hot chocolate to keep our the chill) and also found a few bargains at the Charity shops for my winter wardrobe and a couple of social events planned (and hopefully attended together) over the next two months.

Hope you and MrsB have a peaceful weekend. Regards Jules x

Hi Jules,

Sorry I haven't responded sooner but have been to a Macmillan cancer meeting regarding the new drop in centre they are hoping to start work on in January. Pleased to hear you had a small win at bingo last night and have also picked up a bargain today. As I didn't get back until gone two-o-clock, I stopped off and got myself some chips from the shop just along the road. My wife is not supposed to eat them but the smell of them tempted her so much she gave in. They always give me more than I can eat and if I do eat them all myself I always feel rather bloated afterwards so it was good to have her help me out as I can not see them go to waste can I.  Any more than I could see nuts go to waste.

It has been a lovely sunny day here today although a little chilly. My wife had one of her diabetic turns about four-o-clock this morning so bleary eyed I came downstairs only half awake to get her a cup of tea with some sugar in it and some biscuits and then neither of us could get back to sleep afterwards until it was nearly time to get up. My wife virtually had to prise me out of bed this morning I can tell you. The trouble is although she make a quick recovery usually, she does feel so tired afterwards.

Glad to hear your husband has got some exercises to do and really hope this helps his shoulder.

Anyway, as usual I have rambled on too much, Probably a side effect of nut-eating-itus. Do take care Jules, have a relaxing weekend, Brian

Morning Hope and Brian

Have been up a few hours, though did manage a full 5hrs sleep last night so feel quite ready for the day ahead (no plans though so perhaps relaxing by the fire is the best idea as its miserable outside at present).

Hope,  will be thinking of you as you attend the memorial for your Mum - very emotional for you but a lovely idea for the hospice to arrange these special times.

Brian, hope your wife is feeling a little better following her diabetic turn.  I am aware that this can leave someone feeling very tired afterwards so expect  you will be having a peaceful day which will aid her recovery. Hope she had (and you too) a better night last night.  It can knock you for six when your lose so many hours sleep.  My Mum often used to get up during the night  and would make herself a milky drink (think she would often finish the night off in her rocking chair with a big blanket rather than trying to go  back to bed - worked for her!!)   Love the idea of her sharing your chips (even if she should'nt) though I am sure she enjoys them just as much as you do but helping you with such a large portion gives her a good excuse.

You never ramble Brian, its always a pleasure to chat. Kind thoughts and a peaceful day are sent to you and the family.  Jules x

Hi Jules and Annabel,

Thanks for your kind words, I will let you know how the service goes.

Jules, glad that you managed 5 hours sleep but you are still an early riser.  I hope you have a relaxing weekend by that fire, sounds great.

Annable, I hope all is OK with you and again wishing you a relaxing weekend.

Hope xx

Morning Jules,

By now, I bet you've done all your chores and I hope you're relaxing with a well earned cup of tea!

Congratulations on your bingo win and great news about your charity shop find! It's a good feeling to find a bargain and know that you're supporting a charity too! Bet you'll look great too and no doubt you'll receive many compliments. It's  been a while since I've been charity shop shopping. Near where I live, there is a long road with many charity shops on it. I've been known to make it a whole day out on some occasions!

I'm glad you're getting your Christmas shopping sorted. I've been more organised this year and actually bought things as and when I've seen them rather than my usual approach of "I'll get that for so-and-so next time I'm in town"  I only hope I don't see too many things I wish I'd bought instead! I think I said to,you that this year was going to be a 'book' year, so that's still my main aim, but I also love buying little things for my children . . . A hang over from when they were little and I used to buy for their Santa stockings! Now the items need to be a bit more grown up. . . Though they both still love a tube of sweeties in their present! Didn't make it for a walk yesterday . . . An aerial man took priority! But that's another story!

I hope you have a good week and your hubby carries on the good work with his armchair exercises.

Hugs to you and your family xxx

(Hope you don't mind if I tag a few more messages on in this post?)

Hope, I'm thinking of you today and hope the Hospice Memorial service for your mum, goes well and brings you peace. Hugs to you and your men, xxx

Annabel, enjoy your charity shopping on Tuesday. Hope you find lots of bargains . . . Let us know what you find!

I see you've had a whirlwind year with your diagnosis, operations, treatments and running your business! Phew! . . a bit of 'me' time is in order I think! So try and slow your pace down and take care of yourself. (Retail therapy is fine by the way!)    Hugs to you  and your family xxx

Brian, sorry to hear about Mrs. B's recent diabetic problem. I hope she's soon feeling brighter. Sharing your chips eh? What a kind man you are. Chips always taste even more delicious if they're out of someone else's wrapper! Hugs to you and Mrs B xxx

Hi Jo

Lovely to hear from you and no problems sharing your the thread with other virtual friends as I am sure like you we all 'read' more than we respond to and its nice to be 'shared' around.

  My  charity shop buying  began by accident many moons ago when the children were toddlers and I noticed some lovely clothes in a window, went in and as they say the rest is history. It saved so much money when they were little and at the same time it was helping a good cause. In our small High Street we have several different charities represented and where I found my latest lucky buy was in the shop run to raise money for our local hospice (where my hubby is now receiving his physio sessions).

I had a relaxing day on Sunday as planned once a bit of housework was dealt with. Quiet too as hubby spent much of the day sleeping.  Some days he does this more than others so just go with the flow.  Yesterday he was better and picked up our eldest grandson from school as our daughter was in the town meeting with a friend and she then kindly dropped by the shop and picked me up from work so I got a lift home. A couple of hours of playing/reading/feeding the grandchildren and then I put my feet up for the evening.  Today I do not work so am going to visit Mum and hubby has 'catch up appointment' with his GP who likes to see him in between his hospital check ups to make sure she stays aware of how he is doing.  He thinks its a waste of time  but I think its a good one and nice to have a GP who 'cares' about his patients.

Cold here this morning and will have to de-frost hubby's car in a bit as don't want him having to stand around too long and get chilled though maybe it will be okay by the time he goes out!!

You are just like me as regards oour adult children's pressies.  Though its mainly money/vouchers (their request) we always do a couple of silly bits to make it 'fun' on the morning when the usual mayhem happens as we all sit round exchanging gifts usually around  mid-morning(the little ones have an early opening so we can all enjoy their excitement first).  All being well there will be 11 of us spending the day together this year (plus resident 2 cats and 2 visiting dogs!!) - still hoping that I do not have to work Boxing Day (I have offered to work Christmas Eve - my usual day off - instead but am waiting to hear back!!

Anyway, need to wake hubby soon so he has time for breakfast before his doc's appointment so had better stop rambling and get on.  Have a peaceful day. chat soon. Jules x

Hi Jules,

Hope you enjoy your walk to your mother home this morning and you are able to have a good chat with her. I do like walking on days like this when it's bright and sunny even if it's a bit chilly like today.

I have had a bad case of Brianitus this morning. One big bag of chestnuts, 2 bags of plain crisps and one packet of cheese biscuits all mysteriously found their way into our trolley. My wife asked how they got in there and I tried to put on my innocent face but probably not very successfully for she knows me too well. 

Glad your daughter picked you up from work and you had some "play time" with your grandson. It's so nice that you have such a good rapport with him as I do think grandparents play a vital role in helping bring up their grandchildren. I know how much I valued my grandparents as I had a stepfather who never spoke to me so I looked on my grandfather as a father figure. He was a real character and some of his sayings used to have me in fits of laughter.

My youngest grandson is taking part in his school play on Wednesday and was apparently quite upset as her told his mum, "But that's Granddad evening and means I will miss seeing him and will not get my stories". She said, he was going to ask the school to change it to another evening, but I have told her I will visit him on Thursday instead and he was quite made up with this. W.H.Smith has done fairly well out of us as my wife has bought all three grandchildren two annuals each. She was only intending to buy one each but she couldn't make up her mind which one to get, hence buying two each. Luckily some were on a special offer.

My granddaughter won another three gold medals at archery on Sunday while my son won a bronze. I am so proud of her as one of the medals she won was in a grown-ups section. She also acheived a personal best.

Sounds like you have a good GP which makes a lot of difference. Ours is also very good. Hope your husbands exercises start to make a difference to his arm/shoulder movement.

Anyway take care and enjoy your time off work and will talk again soon, best wishes being sent your way, Brian.

Hi Jules,

Hope you are OK and that your visit to your Mum went well today as well as hubby's GP appointment.  How are the grandchildren?

The memorial service was emotional and to be honest I've been a bit emotional since.  Still finding it difficult to accept that both my parents have gone.  Meeting up with friends tomorrow on my day off so that will be nice.

Brian - your grandchildren sound adorable!!  Hope all is good with you.

Take care,   Hope xx

Hi Brian

Thanks for your lovely response and update.  Its always great to have my forum buddies pop up in my mailbox.

Like you, really enjoyed being out in the sun (well wrapped up of course) and did enjoy the walk down to see my Mum (and back again!!).  Once again we had a chatty visit if somewhat amusing at times!!  Her duty carer spoke to me when I arrived telling me she had had a sleepless night but was full of beans. She had been laughing and telling them that she would love a day out with everyone to Brighton with fish and chips for lunch (she and Dad used to visit a friend down there and it was what they always did - each paying for their own lunch.)  So I spent over an hour being given instructions on what to buy everyone for Christmas, then to take it in for her to see and then taking it home to wrap (she had been shopping with the carer and gave me the paper,sellotape and instructions on how to label them) and then said we could club together and buy her a pair of velvet trousers so she looked smart on Christmas Day.  I was also told I need a haircut!!  (was already booked for end of the month as have grandson's party then!!). All this after the previous week when she told me she had no interest in the festivities - I am quickly learning to go with an open mind and hope for the best!!!  She has a wonderful memory for birthdays and had bought all the necessary cards to cover the period till the New Year so a waiting for the request for me to write them as she did not want me to do them this time.

I popped into the shops on the way back home for bread and milk and somehow Mr Kiplings packet of individual battenburg cakes fell into my basket - so Brianitus definitely still around - I don't even have the excuse that they were for the other half - he does  not like marzipan so have been a bit naughty the last couple of days finishing them off.

Hubby had visit with his GP and  she has upped his anti-depressants and told him to 'get himself moving whilst he can'.  How is it she can get away with saying things I am thinking but would not have the courage to nag him about!!  They are somewhat concerned that he is not making the most of his life and not sure they understand the devastation he feels now that he cannot do the job that was his life.  I am just thankful that when we have visitors he does make some effort (my daughter is well aware of what its like when she is not here and has been an absolute rock). Tomorrow our son is visiting for a couple of hours so looking forward to that.  Also have a day out in London planned with my friend from work (she has a holiday day booked for my day off next Tuesday) and are having gossip and lunch out (she says I need a stress free break bless her - I am obviously easy to read and she has some understanding as her husband had a couple of years battling cancer -  ok thankfully - and relates to the 'silent treatment' I am having when indoors.

Hope your grandson enjoys your rearranged visit and am sure he will love telling you all about the school activities too.  I never had grandfather's when I was a child (both died before I was born) but do love to watch the interaction when the new baby and our grandson visit - those smiles are worth their weight in gold.

Well sorry for long rambling reply and do hope you and Mrs B are keeping warm indoors and enjoying those 'naughty snacks'.  Take care and sending peaceful thoughts and virtual hugs.  Jules

Hi  Hope

Glad you have the support of your 'men' and cannot begin to imagine how emotional the memorial service must have been for you.  Its a lovely way to celebrate your parents' lives but emotionally draining coming far too soon after your father's passing/memorial service.  You cannot rush emotional feelings nor can we necessarily control them as we would like.  They are our bodies way of giving us a release valve. Sometimes feel like I would just like to be alone in a room to scream it all out when the emotions get too much and I am not dealing with anything nearly as hard as you.  Just so glad we have this forum to escape into as sometimes just writing it down (though I feel like I am having real-time conversations) reminds me that there is a real reason why we feel so drained.  Keep sharing Hope and we can keep you company.  Take care my virtual friend.

By the way the grandchildren (and my daughter) doing pretty well.  Eldest is doing well with his early home reading books and loves to  learn the  new words (we did his 'tricky' words with him on Monday as he came to tea) and also enjoying colouring a lot more though nothing will ever replace 'cars' as his main love - he never gets tired of racing them round the room.  We also played Connect 4 and tiddlywinks before they all went home to have their bedtime story with Mum and Dad.  Bbay is feeding well and though still has reflux the Health Visitor has recommended a different milk which my daughter is going to try as apparently this could mean he wont need to take the baby Gaviscon.  All  being well she is off to clinic next week to have him weighed.  My daughter is virtually back to feeling herself just needing to get a bit more energy for the longer walks she likes to do when they go to the park or woods with the children but  all in all she has picked up well.

Hubby has been given a new prescription for anti depressants and his GP has told him to get himself more  mobile whilst he has the ability to do so as sitting down all day is not the way to be!! (I would  not get away with saying it but certainly agree with her as he is able to do most things still but his ;mojo' went when his job finished.). Thankfully he puts on a different face when we have visitors.

Take care of yourself and let the family spoil you too. Sending virtual hugs for a peaceful week.  Jules x

Hi Jules,

Thanks for your lovely, kind words.  Thank goodness for this site!  I know nobody can take away the pain but it is just good to have support.  I have to remind myself that it is still early days, only 3 months tomorrow since Mum died, and I miss them so much especially this time of year. Now I am just trying to enjoy my own wonderful family and be happy for what we have.

Lovely to hear how well your grandsons are doing.  It is great that you read and play with your eldest so much, that will really help with his development at school.  Only too often we see secondary children struggling to read who have not been reading enough through primary.  I hope hubby's new prescription will see him improve his mood, very difficult for him and you.   I guess they will take a couple of weeks to work, but hopefully they will kick in and help to make him more upbeat by Christmas.  I'm sure the "little ones" will be the best drug, they can surely lift spirits better than any pill.  Take care and have a good weekend.  Hope xx