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Continuing the journey

jules54
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Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules, Mickied & Brian,

    It is great to read all your posts about the young people.  Brian your grandson sounds so sweet, I bet you enjoy every minute you spend with him.  Mickied, hope your eldest has a lovely birthday on Saturday - the terrible teens eh!  Jules, your eldest's grandson's birthday party sounds great!  I will be thinking of you as that is my youngest's birthday, mind you at 17 he will just be doing his own thing, which since it is a Sunday will be playing football!  Take care everybody and speak soon.   Hope x

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian

    Thanks for thinking about me.  I had a chat with my boss this morning and he told me there will be changes after Christmas more hours being cut etc as he doesn't want to make anyone redundant.

    I felt sorry for him Brian while a few others didn't but that's me all over Brian.  He is honestly trying his best but you can't please everyone.

    You can tell Mrs B that we didn't mix you up with someone else.  She probably sees a different side to the one we all see (only joking).  You sound like a good strong couple who put up with each other's faults and your bouts of Brianitus.  Haven't heard you mention those lately.

    Take care Brian and regards to Mrs B.  Poor woman having to put up with you ha ha

    Mickied

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules

    I asked my daughter if she wanted to do anything for her 13th and she said just to go out for a meal.  Her sister by accident invited my mother-in-law along too.

    I see your grandson will be 5 at the end of this month and a big party planned.  I remember doing the same for my eldest and all the kids you came behaved really well.  He will feel really special as his mum and dad will be there and baby will be getting looked after by grandma and grand-dad.

    Hope the physio helps your husband.  Having a stiff shoulder is no laughing matter.  I had that myself a few months ago and you are restricted from doing anything with that arm.

    That was some comment to come from a consultant obviously no beside manner towards his patient.

    Glad to see your mum is keeping OK and looking after herself too by agreeing to getting her hair done.  You are just right Jules treating yourself to a new jumper for Christmas Day.

    I treated myself too today to a mousse for the roots of my hair.  When the assistant explained it worked out at £2.50 for each application I agreed I had done the right thing and bought it.

    It was £10.99.  I have never paid that much before for a colour for my hair usually the £5.00 mark is my norm but it needs it.

    Well take care for now and chat soon

    Mickied

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Hope

    Thanks for the reply - the terrible teens more like Kevin and Perry.  If you ask her to do something she can't be bothered or will do it later. Hope your son enjoys his birthday.

    How is your eldest getting on at Medical School?.  My friend's daughter is doing her course too which can last up to 7 years but she said it will be worth it in the end.

    How's work going Hope?

    Take care and chat soon

    Mickied

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Hope

    Trust you are having a peaceful week and I am sure having been able to move forward now that probate agreed makes some things a little easier. You should feel very proud of yourself for managing to visit banks on your own, daunting at the best of times let alone when you are grieving.  sometimes think we sort of go onto 'automatic pilot' just to  cope with day to day tasks.

    Had another bad night last night (not sure why but suspect once awake the mind works overtime in the quietness!!!).  Hubby had physio yesterday and has exercises to do at home and goes back in a couple of weeks so hope it helps though he says little other than when I try the 20 questions route to have some sort of conversation - FRUSTRATING to say the least.  Think I am having more written conversations than verbal ones so thank goodness for the forum and people like yourself who are happy to listen to my waffling.

    Mum was so so this week. Not so chatty but at least she had agreed to have a hair done (unlike the previous week when I thought she was on good form!!!).

    Am off to work shortly and then hope to pop in to see our daughter and the children (probably pick up eldest from school).  She  is coping well now though still have to remind her to get plenty of rest when the baby sleeps.

    Have a good weekend and hope to chat again soon.  regards and hugs Jules x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    I'm sorry that your hubby isn't very talkative at present, I can understand how frustrating that must be - I love to talk and would find it very difficult getting little response. Likewise to find your Mum less chatty this week must also be difficult.  Thank goodness you have this site, we are always ready to chat on here! No doubt you will have fun later today when you see your grandchildren, glad your daughter is coping well now.

    I'm relieved that I now have grant of probate, it is just another box to tick; however the house remains an issue as I've found out there is such a lot of work to be done if I want to get it up to scratch for renting. Intend to get further advice  and quotes and will then need to decide what to do for the best. Although I would like to keep it I also need to balance finances and also need to be able to move forward emotionally myself, so I will see.  I'm emotionally not in too bad a place just at the moment so am taking advantage of that as I'm sure another bad day will be ahead at some point.  Sunday I have a memorial service held by the hospice to attend for Mum, so it could even be then!

    Mickied, thanks for asking after me and my eldest, he is absolutely loving med school - tons of work but he is in his glory.  Let's hope he will be a good future doctor.  Hope all is OK with you.

    Take care my friends.  Hope xx

  • Offline in reply to Hope23

    Hi Jules,

    Thanks for the reply on the other thread. Good news is my latest blood test was okay and levels was back to normal so last one must have just been an anomaly.

    My new headset has just arrived which I am very pleased with so will be able to get cracking on my stories again. Haven't done any writing for about three weeks so have a lot of catching up to do. I wish you well for your Bingo session tonight.

    I hope you have a good weekend and will talk again soon, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi Brian, Jules and Hope

    Hope all is well with you.  Starting to get a bit of a sore throat today but struggling on nonetheless.

    We received a call from the police yesterday.  A few weeks ago a young female called to our house with a sponsor form for cancer.  My husband gave her a small donation and thought nothing else of it.

    Apparently this young lady is being charged with fraud and had been going from different parts of the city looking sponsorship for a so called cycling event.  My husband had to call to our nearest station today to make a statement.  He said he can't even remember much about it.  Just shows you what people get up to.  I know times are hard but I would never consider conning people like that.

    Well take care and chat next week

    Mickied

  • Offline in reply to mickied

    Hi Mickied, Unbelievable about the sponsor form scam!  People who have no conscience and are able to carry out these cons obviously have been lucky enough to never have been affected by cancer, it makes me sick to think of people acting in that way.  Fortunately there are many good people in the world (a lot on here I might add), who understand the devastating effects of cancer, to even consider using the word for personal gain is appalling!

    I hope all is well with you Mickied, have a good weekend.  Hope xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,

    Just wanted to pop up on your thread and say Hi and that I am following your latest news, but not always posting a response.

    Have a good weekend and hope the sun is shining where you are. I'm hoping to convince my other half that a little walk in Derbyshire would be good for us both! Think I can clinch the deal with the promise of a pub lunch at the end of it!

    Big hugs to you and your family, Jo xxx

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