Morning Jules,

Was just wondering how you got on when you visited your Mum this week, and also how your daughter got on at hospital?  I do hope things are not too stressful for you and that you can try and have a relaxing weekend.

I'm waiting for my eldest to come home, he has spent somewhat of Freshers sleeping on fellow pupils floors after social events - latest was a toga party last night!  I'm off to my counsellor this morning, had originally been thinking I wouldn't need to see her for too much longer but have been so emotional this week so will talk things over with her.

The weather is forecast to be nice this weekend but is looking a bit gloomy at present.  Here's hoping it brightens up and the sun shines on us all.  Take care  Hope x

Hi Hope

Hope you visit to the counsellor was helpful and its good for you to be able to talk things through and this should last as long as you need it.

I have just returned from visiting Mum and she was ok though I am sure a little concerned at how long she will be able to stay where she.  She has amazed the staff at how forthright she was when social worker 'interviewed' her and they are left in no doubt as to what she wants. All the care staff came to see me whilst I was visiting to make sure I was okay too - very sweet.  I stayed until she was due to go into lunch and we even managed a bit of a laugh when I showed her latest photos of her great grandson.  He has really enjoyed his first week in Reception and keeps telling his mum that his teacher is the most beautiful one in the school!!

Hubby and I picked him up from school on Friday as my daughter had to return to hospital for a second day of tests and monitoring.  Specialist blood tests with regard to her liver function have been sent off and unless she hears otherwise she returns to clinic next Friday.  The last set of bloods were borderline but all readings for the baby were good.  If the new blood tests show certain 'rises' she may have to be taken in and possibly induced (she is now 37 weeks and would probably welcome is being over and done with!!).  Anyway so far so good.  I have an overnight bag ready and waiting and she has several friends on standby to get her to the hospital if her hubby is at work.  Mind you she is still driving herself at present!!

When we met our grandson at school (its only 10mins to his home) he told Grandad that he could meet us there as it was healthier to walk!!!  My hubby's face was a picture as he drove off and I walked the little tyke home!!

Life's stresses seem to come and go but having the forum to offload certainly helped me to see things in perspective this week though I think my mood swings are more due to hormones than current circumstances.

Sounds like your eldest having a great time during Freshers but will no doubt be looking forward to some home cooking.  Have a great weekend with the family and will catch up again soon.  All the best and look after yourself. Jules xx

See you are back to your 'nutty' best Brian and hope you are enjoying the fruits of your labours and that the conservatory floor project is not giving you too many headaches.  I read on  another thread that you hope to return to one of your favourite National Trust gardens (always loved to visit these when we holidayed int he UK) and it is a shame that your wife cannot enjoy the walk with you.  Was just wondering whether she would be up to being wheeled round as when we took a friend round a couple of years back we were able to borrow wheelchair on site and it gave her such pleasure to be able to join us for the visit without tiring her out.

We have had a lovely morning as our daughter and grandson have been here and he has been showing us his 'scooter skills' along our garden path.  He even got Grandad to stand in goal for him!!

My hubby also took it upon himself (hope you sitting down as you read this ) to take him to Sainsburys and they did the weekly shop together (a couple of miniature chocolate teddies found their way into the trolley plus a pack of small cars which he promptly took 'off roading in the flower bed'.  Whilst they were busy my daughter and I had good chat about his forthcoming 5th birthday in November (he wants board games and I need to know what he has already got!!).  Also discussed contingency plans for when she goes into labour.  Life will be a little easier from Monday as the little one will be in school full time so she will get plenty of rest and she now has her Dad available as back up when I am at work which has put her mind at rest (and made him feel useful!!).

Hope you find some time to relax and will chat again soon.  Jules xx

Hi Hope

Well the gardening went on hold as we had my daughter and grandson until about an hour a go when my son in law got home from work and they have gone off to buy presents for several of our grandson's friends birthdays.  Have managed to get all the washing dry (and am thinking about the ironing but no too much).  With a little bit of luck the weather will hold tomorrow and I am planning to clean the bird feeding station and then shop for new feeders/food in readiness for the return of the wild birds in the colder months.  Already the robins/blackbirds are making the odd appearance now that the mornings are cooler.

Hope you managing to have a stress free day  (is there such a thing these days) and am sure your elder son is enjoying the social side of uni (my son did and 7 years on still keeps in touch with his former  house mates even though they come from different parts of the country).  They still manage to meet up from time to time (the last time was a couple of months ago when one of the lads was passing through the area on his 'narrowboat' home and they all went to see him, bicycling along the towpath to keep up and then stopping for lunch.  Its a whole new world to explore for them and I really used to enjoy hearing all about it when he was home during the holidays.  How is your younger son enjoying being back at school?  I expect he is being kept busy too.

Look forward to chatting again soon. Take care  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

You mentioned cobwebs the other day so I had to search for this photo I took in our back garden a few years ago

Take care, Brian.

Click on it to enlarge.

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Thanks Brian

They are amazing little engineers those spiders. xJules

Hi Jules,

Well it sounds like you have a great day with your grandson, I notice from your post to Brian that your grandson has a scooter - I remember them so well with my boys, I used to love to have a go myself!  Fingers crossed for good weather tomorrow so you can get into the garden then.  I'm off to watch youngest play football in his new team tomorrow - it's all a bit serious now at his age (under 17s).  You asked me how he was doing back at school, well he is now in a new school for 6th form (his secondary didn't have 6th form), it is one of the top schools around here and he is enjoying it and busy studying 4 A levels.

Well wishing you a good night's sleep and speak soon.  Hope x

Morning Hope

Feels a lot later as some disturbance down our road at 3.15 a.m. meant another interrupted night but at least it was not my fault.  Still the bonus of early mornings is housework now all finished and we are having leisurely breakfast (funny hubby appeared just as I finished all the ironing!!).  Our grandson gives us lots of pleasure (and our daughter and son in law like that he can play outside) and he happily plays in the garden. They live in a first floor flat and though they have access to a garden its not the same as being able to open the door and not have to physically be out there at all times.  He knows his Mum does not like worms so what was the first thing he bought in! We normally see them at least once a week but with the new addition due soon they have popped in a little more (bless them they always text to see if its okay even though we have always had open house policy - it we are in always pleased to see visitors). When our children went through school (I then worked at home proofreading) our stairs resounded with the noise of after school gang, especially with our daughter and even now when we see them out and about with their own families in tow they remember the days of squash and biscuits - simple pleasures).  Our son was more of a 'go to other friends' places and had outside hobbies and as I  have never driven and hubby worked away quite a lot of the time they both got used to walking and public transport from a very early age and even though they both now drive they still walk whenever its possible (as they say not only is it better for them its cheaper too!!)

Hope the football game goes well. The weather here is windy but bright so when the temperature gets up a bit I think I will get outside (unless I am catching up with a doze on the sofa!!)  You have too very bright lads that must make  you and your husband so proud. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and will catch up again soon. Take care.  Jules x

Thats beautiful Brian. After Jules mentioned them the other morning I saw loads of them in the long grass on the common just outside our gate. I wonder if I would have noticed them if I hadn't seen Jules's post??

I hope you and your wife are well Brian. All is well here, am about to get on the train to London tomorrow to visit the newest member of the family. Very excited. Have a good weekend.

best

Annabel. xx

Hi Jules,

I have been catching up with the news in your family, especially about your Mum. She sounds quite a character.

Your daughter will be getting to the stage when she will be glad to have the baby and get her body back. I remember that stage of pregnancy, I felt like a beached whale. !!!!!!

I am so glad to  the grandson is enjoying school and keeping you young!!! I look forward to all of that with little Ava.

Off to London tomorrow for a few days. Unfortuneately I have to return Thursday for a doctors appointment on Friday.

It will be lovely to see my daughter and son in law as well.

Hope you've had a good weekend

best

Annabel. xx

Hi Jules,

I guess you are probably feeling tired now what with your early start - I'm envious that you got all your housework done, mine is still waiting!  I've been to football which took up a lot of the day, then over to the house for more clearing.  There is so much to do it feels like it's going on forever, still I think we are slowly getting there.  It's always a bit upsetting going through things, but I'm trying to focus on the good memories now.

Like you I always like a noisy house, and used to love my sons friends coming over to play when they were little.  Nowadays with the addition of X Box everyone seems to stay in their own houses and play on-line!  Well it will soon be October so not long until your new bundle arrives, bet you can't wait!  Have a good week and hope all continues OK with your Mum.  Hope  xx

Morning Hope

.

Well made it through to about late afternoon before I had a power nap!!  Had a pretty quiet day which has helped though I did manage to do a bit in the garden and also took myself for a leisurely afternoon walk (not one who can sit around all day and it was a beautiful day).  Hubby spent much of the day dozing (probably due to be able to relax as we had no visitors) or watching me do the housework (something I am having to get used to!! ).

Certainly clearing the house is not easy task physically let alone mentally.  Helped with my mother in laws many years ago and that was difficult.  When my Mum  moved into care we cleared the flat but I still have around six large boxes of her bits and pieces sitting in our spare room as it does not feel right to do anything with them whilst she is still with us even though she does not want  it. (Also if she does have to move again in the future she would have to completely re-furnish as the sheltered housing situation would be unfurnished - though trying not to dwell on that though now!!).

Bet your son was happy to have your support as he started with the new football team and its not something I relate too as my son preferred cricket and never really became interested in footie so I have never stood and watched a whole match!!!  No one in our family ever really been into football so maybe that explains it. I love to watch other sports on the tv and hubby used to race cars (pre children) so would spend a lot of our 'date' at race meets (750 club class) - those were the days.  Still love to watch cricket which I used to go to with my Dad from a very early age and also tennis.  Was never sporty myself other than having to join in at school but have always done a lot of walking.  Both my parents loved to walk (and did not drive) and we spent many an hour at weekends walking on the Heath.

Well I am thinking I had best clear up my breakfast washing up as otherwise it will be waiting for me when I get in from work .  Have a good week. Chat soon. Jules xx

Morning Hope

.

Well made it through to about late afternoon before I had a power nap!!  Had a pretty quiet day which has helped though I did manage to do a bit in the garden and also took myself for a leisurely afternoon walk (not one who can sit around all day and it was a beautiful day).  Hubby spent much of the day dozing (probably due to be able to relax as we had no visitors) or watching me do the housework (something I am having to get used to!! ).

Certainly clearing the house is not easy task physically let alone mentally.  Helped with my mother in laws many years ago and that was difficult.  When my Mum  moved into care we cleared the flat but I still have around six large boxes of her bits and pieces sitting in our spare room as it does not feel right to do anything with them whilst she is still with us even though she does not want  it. (Also if she does have to move again in the future she would have to completely re-furnish as the sheltered housing situation would be unfurnished - though trying not to dwell on that though now!!).

Bet your son was happy to have your support as he started with the new football team and its not something I relate too as my son preferred cricket and never really became interested in footie so I have never stood and watched a whole match!!!  No one in our family ever really been into football so maybe that explains it. I love to watch other sports on the tv and hubby used to race cars (pre children) so would spend a lot of our 'date' at race meets (750 club class) - those were the days.  Still love to watch cricket which I used to go to with my Dad from a very early age and also tennis.  Was never sporty myself other than having to join in at school but have always done a lot of walking.  Both my parents loved to walk (and did not drive) and we spent many an hour at weekends walking on the Heath.

Well I am thinking I had best clear up my breakfast washing up as otherwise it will be waiting for me when I get in from work .  Have a good week. Chat soon. Jules xx

Afternoon Jules,  Hope you've had a good day.  I've been feeling a bit down today for no apparent reason (well other than the obvious); just part of the journey I'm on I guess.  Still the sun is shining now and I've finished work so not all bad!

Can relate to watching cricket, youngest also played cricket for several years, so just when the football season finished I'd be out again all Summer watching cricket!  Can't say I ever really understood it, but had some pleasant days drinking and chatting on the pavillion!  He gave it up a few years back now so at least I have the weekends to myself during the Summer now.

Off to make dinner now and take some relaxing time for myself tonight as hubby working late. Have a good evening.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

Maybe you feeling a little better today.  Think Monday's are often a 'low' day as at the weekend we have family around us and enjoy the feeling  of being needed/supported.  Then the weekday comes and its off to work and we have to make an effort to be in control (pushing our own feelings down to be able to cope).  I am having a lazy morning as this is a non work day and later today we are picking up our grandson with our daughter (so we find out where his new classroom is) as he is now doing full hours (and still loving it thankfully).  We are going through the strange transition of hubby being at home all day (hard for him I know) following early retirement being mutually agreed last week.(the travelling was getting too much and physically he knew the time was right).  Sadly there is not much he can do without getting breathless and he spends his day sitting in the chair and I am learning to have to work round him (very strange). I dont think even I realised how much working meant to him as he is now like a child who has lost his favourite toy and think he is now very sad and feels he has no purpose.  Me and the kids are doing our best to get him as involved as he can be in 'our world' as we want him to have a good life whilst he is still able but this is clearly difficult for him.  His next routine appointment is at the end of the month but other than that we are trying to focus on the forthcoming new grandchild as a positive and making memories with the family.    He has just reminded me that his prescription will be ready for collection today so will see to that later.  For now I hear that the weather is going to be warmer later so a bit more gardening seems in order.

Love the way you are supporting so many others on this site Hope and feel your own experiences will help them with their understanding that we are never alone when forums such as this exist.

Take care Jules xx

Good morning Jules, Hope & Annebel,

The day has started very well for me. I took my wife shopping at Mr Tesco's this morning and I am very surprised you didn't hear my shout of joy. I was looking round the greengrocery department and found they had new seasons Chestnuts in stock. They only had 4 bags left but not any more for I scooped them up and dumped them in our trolley as quick as lightning. When we got to the checkout, my dear wife  gave the cashier chapter and verse what a nutty husband she has. I cant disagree with her very well can I ??????????????.

Jules, I hope you are keeping well. I forgot to mention that you have now been a very valued member on this site for over a year now and just wanted to say thank you for the support you have given both to me and many many others during that time. Your well chosen words of comfort and understanding are I know appreciated by so many people on here. I only found this forum by chance, read a few post and have been hooked ever since and during my time have made the acquaintance of so many lovely caring people.  With regard to your husbands retirement Jules, I have just looked up engineering forums and found at least six of them. One of them give the chance to comment about recent developments ect, and just wondered if this might be of interest to your husband. I just typed in engineering forums. Just a thought anyway.

Hope, Like Jules I hope you are feeling better today and also the way you respond to so many others on here. I just love this forum and they way everyone uses their own experiance to help others.

Annebel, I hope you have a great trip and enjoy seeing the new addition to your family.

Ladies please take care and will talk again soon, Brian

Morning Brian

Thank you so much for your lovely words and do you know I  had not even realised how long I had been posting!!  Sometimes wonder where the time goes and I am very grateful to have had this forum to help me through the good and the bad times.  Its amazing that you never have to feel isolated and even though everyones journey is very personal we also know that being understood is a really big support so I too would like to thank all that read these threads as well as those that respond.

Thanks for mentioning the engineering forums and will pass this on (when the mood is right). Funnily enough my first thought was as he has such a great engineering brain he could think of approaching old contacts and offer himself as a consultant.  This was something he would have loved to have done when he was originally made redundant from a previous employer but then he was 'head-hunted' and the rest is, as they say, history.  On the other hand its really up to him as to how he feels and I will just have to follow his lead (conversation still sadly lacking and I dont think that I can teach the old dog new tricks as even his siblings are this way).  He has just told me that our son is visiting tomorrow (apparently he rang yesterday!!), shame I will miss seeing him as I am at work but great that hubby can catch up with his news and if I ask enough questions when I get home I can catch up too!!

As I type this I am imagining you sitting with a bowl of chestnuts for company and can now assume that supermarket shopping will be a happy necessity for a few weeks to come.  My hubby likes fresh chestnuts so will keep my eyes peeled. Enjoy.

Have a good day.  Jules xx

Afternoon Jules,  Sorry to hear your hubby is feeling sad, it must be very hard to adjust to being forced to retire.  As much as we all moan about work it does sort of give us a purpose and it must be difficult for him if he is unable to do all the things he'd like to.  Not to forget you of course, it is difficult for you to adjust to and watch too, so it's good to read that you still seem to remain upbeat.  Your grandson (and forthcoming grandchild) will no doubt make you both smile, as children always have the ability to lift spirits.

I am feeling a bit better today, that's just how it goes, OK one minute down the next - I never knew I had so many emotions!  Of course I expect menopause also has it's part to play on top of the grief.  Anyway I am off to the gym in a minute, I used to go virtually everyday but the past months have seen me going less - firstly because I didn't  have time with all that was going on and more recently because I haven't felt the same inspiration to go that I used to.  However, exercise has a fantastic way of making us feel better, I used to always say it was part of my everyday routine just like taking a bath and I didn't feel right if I didn't go, so now I'm determined to get back to it more regularly.  Hope you've had a good day off, enjoy your evening.  Hope x

Hi Hope

Well, we spent an hour with my daughter and then went with her to pick up our grandson so that we know where to go when called on!!!  Hubby came too and we did a slow walk (5 mins walk from home to school normally for my daughter but as she has only just over a week to due date her pace really suited hubby!!) of around 15mins and must say if felt very strange for me being back in the playground surrounded with loads of parents and children as we waited for the classroom doors to be opened. Just time for a drink and fruit for our grandson before we left to come home and he was off to tennis (one of the dad's runs it once a week at a nearby court) - just wish I had his energy.  We came home, had dinner and having taken his usual cocktail of drugs hubby dozed for a bit and then we watched tv.   A pretty restful evening and I even managed 5hrs straight sleep last night.  Into work today so have to switch my head 'off home' to cope - sure y ou know that feeling.

Take care and hope you have a good day. Jules x

Hi Everyone

I haven't been on here for a few weeks now and then discovered this morning my uncle died this morning from cancer.  He was diagnosed back in the summer.  A funny thing happened this morning I kept thinking about one of my cousins who I haven't seen in a while before I heard the news.  I expect the funeral to be this Friday or Saturday.

Jules I read your story about your mum's situation.  Not a bit of wonder you were exhausted and frustrated due to everything going on at present.  You really are a tower of strength for everyone in your family and you are always prepared to put everyone else first.  It can't be long now until the new addition arrives.  I am sure you can't wait.  Is your daughter keeping OK.

How is your wee grandson getting on a school?  Has he settled in well?

Well nothing else to report for now just hope that everyone else is keeping well.

Take care Jules and chat soon

Mickied

Hi Jules, Brian & Mickied,

Just want to start by saying Mickied I am so sorry to read about your Uncle, I hope and pray that someday we will find a cure for this terrible disease that claims the lives of so many and affects their families so deeply.  Thinking of you.

Brian, thanks for your kind words - this site really seems to help and I'm feeling a bit better the past few days.

Jules, Hope you haven't worked too hard today.  So lovely that you (and now hubby) spend such quality time with your grandson, sounds like he really is enjoying school.  I caught up with a friend for lunch today (day off) which was nice.  Also touched base with the law firm who are sorting out probate - seems that I completed all the forms completely correctly (miracle!) but they are now waiting for the original will which is with another solicitor.  Everything takes so long; as an ex secretary myself I can't believe people in offices are so disorganised today, and that they can't sort out basic paperwork quickly!  Anyway I will leave it up to them now and let things take their time.  Have a good evening.  Hope x

Hi Mickied

Lovely to hear from you and thanks for your supportive words as usual.

  So sorry to read of yet another loss in your family to cancer - sometimes you wonder when the next bit of good news will come for the family. It seems to hit you like a brick wall and just as you are pulling yourself up again you get knocked back.  Its such a rollercoaster of emotional turmoil and yet here we all are chatting and somehow coping - this forum is just an awesome source of support.  Do hope all goes as well as it can for the funeral. Come and chat whenever you need to bend someone's ear - you have been so supportive to others and we can return the favour anytime.

My daughter is doing well at the moment (just over a week to due date) and our grandson has settled well into his new school class, loves his teacher and though a bit tired (for about an hour after he gets home) is no problem getting him to go.  We went with our daughter yesterday to see where his new classroom is as it will be us picking him up when daughter first has the new addition.  Next hospital check up one day before due date unless something happens beforehand.  Fingers crossed and yes it will be very exciting.

Hubby has now taken early retirement and so is pretty miserable at present and probably needs time to re-adjust. Am taking it day at a time but he needs a little help now and spends most of his time watching tv or sleeping. I am still doing part time at the moment and we shall have to see how his illness progresses as to if and when I need to be at home.  Will cross that bridge as and when necessary. Am refusing to worry about it until it becomes neccessary.  He can still drive short distances and also walk slowly but the motivation is difficult so its easy does it. Our son visited today and he always perks up when the kids pop in.  We are so very lucky to have them fairly close by but want them to live their own lives too.  We are all 'talking Christmas' at present and trying to sort out Christmas ideas/shopping. Before that we have our grandson's 5th birthday at end of November and the thought of 30 kids in a hall is pretty daunting but my son in law is absolutely brilliant and loves children so am sure it will go very well. I am going along as a 'pair of arms' for the 'newbie' all being well so that my grandson has his special day.  Best laid plans............

Sending virtual hugs and best wishes   Jules xx

Hi Hope,

Quite a coincidence, I was a secretary in a former life (pre children so a good few years ago).  How we managed to be so organised (and little technology) seems amazing now but if anything we appear to have gone backwords with all the form filling and waiting around.  Hope you can get things sorted re probate soon but these things seem to have a pace all of their own!!

Work was busy but no complaints; it makes the time go quickly.  Our store is set over two floors so have been up and down all day moving stock (~kids annuals mainly) into thier new Christmas layout - amazing how many different titles there are.  Was certainly  giving me plenty of exercise (so was quite hungry when I left).  Managed to last till I got home at 2.45 and had a very large banana and a yoghurt!!  My son had popped in as it was a day off for him and we chatted gardens/wildlife and he has made a great pond which we saw the new pictures off.  When he left he was off to the garden centre to buy some trellis as he wants climbing plants to cover the small brick outbuilding(shed to you and  me!!).and has decided that maybe sweet peas might do the job!

Hubby promptly dropped off to sleep as soon as our son left so dinner will be a little delayed as he usually sleeps for around an hour or so and would rather he woke naturally.  Well thats today sorted and as they say tomorrow is another day.  Take care, chat soon. Jules xx