Hello,
Before I start, I wanted to thank everyone for their posts on here - it is incredibly moving but also inspirational to read your stories, and has prompted me to join.
My darling Mum has just (last week) been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer - she has been told that there is a tumour of approx 25mm in the tail of her pancreas and 1, possibly 2 seedlings in the blood vessels joining the pancreas. I've tried working out what this means in terms of stages and outlook, but am just confusing and upsetting myself by trying to work it out so am going to stop and let the experts guide us on what it means and what is happening.
I've been a mess ever since she and my Dad told me - every emotion from anger to confusion to utter sadness has hit me and I keep bursting into tears. She is only 64 and has been the most fantastic mum and grandma, and I cannot even begin to imagine what life would be like if the worst happens. I am lucky that I have a wonderful husband, brother and dad for support - but I know I need to support them too, and ultimately what matters is that we all stay strong and positive for my Mum.
I am having trouble getting from how I feel now, to how I know I must feel to support Mum. I am fighting to stop myself falling to pieces, especially as I have a 17 month old daughter who needs me too - one of the hardest things to deal with is that she may not ever properly know my mum, I just cannot cope with the idea that she may not know someone who is so very important to me?
I can only hope that this is an initial period of shock and that my emotions will 'settle' so I can be and do what I need to for Mum. Mum has been told that Chemo is the first course of action and I have convinced myself that this means surgery is not an option, and all they can do is try to control it, but not cure it. Again, I know I should not think like this, but can't shake off my fears at the moment.
I know you all have your own stories and ordeals to cope with, but if anyone has some time to share any help or advice on coping in these early stages, I would really appreciate it. Also, if you have any positive stories about pancreatic cancer, again I would love to hear them.
Thank you everyone xx