My husband was diagnosed last year with Kidney Cancer

Hi my husband was diagnosed last M arch with kidney cancer which was contained in his right kidney. They removed the whole kidney and he goes for his scan every 6 months. I am constantly living in fear that it will come back as the oncologist said he obviously doesnt have good genes and theres a 30 -40 % chance of it returning. Im so scared of losing him and some nights i just cry and cry. I thought after 5 years of clear scans he would have as much chance of anyone else getting cancer though i now feel that this is just gonna get him in the end......Is it just a matter of when??? Im so scared and im sorrry if this post is so negative but i just cant bear the thought of life without him. Every little twinge he has anywhere in his body im convinced its back and when he was diagnosed I dont know yet how i didnt have a breakdown as spent every day hiding from him around the house just crying and the world just seemed like a very frightening place to be. Is it normal to feel like this ?

Parents
  • It is normal for you to feel terribly worried - in my experience it is worse for family than for the person with cancer because if you do have it, you just have to get on with it.  The longer you survive the initial operation and subsequent treatment the better - even if you have to have more than one treatment.  My Consultant says that we should start looking at cancer as similar to diabetes - we have it and get treatment as we need it.  I have Ovarian Cancer and it will never go away either but I have had two lots of chemo and know I will have to have more - but I'm still alive after 5 years.  The first year I worried on a daily basis but that does settle.  Try to put a face on it for your husband's sake as well as your own.  It can be done.  Many cancers go into remission rather than are cured but people with cancer are living longer - there is no doubt about that.  There was an article about this in a recent Saturday Guardian magazine which confirmed what my Consultant said.  Could you maybe phone the McMillan Nursing Support?  They will happily come out to visit and may be able to offer some help around your particular issues.  My GP maintains it's worse for families because they feel helpless.  My husband and children have put on happy faces and that has helped me.    

Reply
  • It is normal for you to feel terribly worried - in my experience it is worse for family than for the person with cancer because if you do have it, you just have to get on with it.  The longer you survive the initial operation and subsequent treatment the better - even if you have to have more than one treatment.  My Consultant says that we should start looking at cancer as similar to diabetes - we have it and get treatment as we need it.  I have Ovarian Cancer and it will never go away either but I have had two lots of chemo and know I will have to have more - but I'm still alive after 5 years.  The first year I worried on a daily basis but that does settle.  Try to put a face on it for your husband's sake as well as your own.  It can be done.  Many cancers go into remission rather than are cured but people with cancer are living longer - there is no doubt about that.  There was an article about this in a recent Saturday Guardian magazine which confirmed what my Consultant said.  Could you maybe phone the McMillan Nursing Support?  They will happily come out to visit and may be able to offer some help around your particular issues.  My GP maintains it's worse for families because they feel helpless.  My husband and children have put on happy faces and that has helped me.    

Children
No Data