I am in a very similar position to you and what you describe is exactly what I think and feel at this time. My husband was diagnosed with malignant cancer last May and there is no cure. He doesn’t want to know how long he’s got, immunotherapy may give him more time but side effects cause problems and slow him down. He sleeps a lot and when he does I sit and ask myself if this is what it will be like. The thing he keeps saying is that he doesn’t want to ‘leave me with anything to do’. Several fairly big jobs have been done in the house and garden over the last few months, but really there is nothing that is important. The main things we have done are wills, power of attorney for finance and health. They are the only things that I count as really necessary. Sending love and hugs, please look after yourself as well. 

Thank you Jane and David he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in January 24 went through radiotherapy and Chemo had a huge apr surgery in January 25 which resulted in him being extremely poorly in hospital life support for 3 days having a string of five operations within six weeks he got through it and got the all clear we thought we had beat it , after 3 1/2 months in hospital he came out in April then in November this year it  came back and is now stage 4 they cannot offer any more radiotherapy just Palliative Chemo to give him a bit more time he’s out the front at the moment digging up the driveway for God sake. Like your husband he just wants to make sure that there’s nothing left for me to worry about after he’s gone. He still so kind so brave so thoughtful and caring. I know deep down he’s also doing it to keep his mind busy I’ve been off work this week and all I keep doing is thinking about what if and what will be.

Thank you Jane and David he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in January 24 went through radiotherapy and Chemo had a huge apr surgery in January 25 which resulted in him being extremely poorly in hospital life support for 3 days having a string of five operations within six weeks he got through it and got the all clear we thought we had beat it , after 3 1/2 months in hospital he came out in April then in November this year it  came back and is now stage 4 they cannot offer any more radiotherapy just Palliative Chemo to give him a bit more time he’s out the front at the moment digging up the driveway for God sake. Like your husband he just wants to make sure that there’s nothing left for me to worry about after he’s gone. He still so kind so brave so thoughtful and caring. I know deep down he’s also doing it to keep his mind busy I’ve been off work this week and all I keep doing is thinking about what if and what will be.