My husband has been told his cancer has returned after only 7 months in remission, he’s been told he has 12-18 months IF it responds well to chemo.  I feel like I’m grieving him before he’s gone, I can’t sleep it’s currently 2.30am I’m laying here next to him visualising how life will be without him. He’s trying to do as much in the house to make it as we want it before he gets too weak to do it. People are telling us to go on holiday spend time together etc I have to work it’s not that easy I’m the only one working since he got poorly. But when he’s gone I know I will regret it but we are running out of time.

Is this normal to feel like we should be getting our house in order - literally ! Is it normal that I’m trying to prepare myself that he will be gone even though I could have another good year infront of us? I’m feeling numb it’s so surreal I’m going through the motions - I feel so helpless and angry with myself for feeling like he’s gone already when he’s right here next to me