Hello, this was me in February. It came as a massive shock when my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 Bowel Cancer and hit me hard. Things that helped initially were recognising my feelings as anticipatory grief and allowing myself to feel everything rather than trying to cope and carry on. I initially took a week off work to give myself time to process and I was really honest with work about what was going on and how hard I was finding it.  Being present at the appointments with Dad has also helped me. Plus planning some nice things to do together when chemo regimes have allowed. Anyway, sending you huge love and light. You are not alone x

I'm in exactly this position now. Just last week we received the news following a colonoscopy and now waiting on further tests to find out stage and treatment plans.

It's the waiting and not knowing that's getting to me. Feeling so very helpless, and it keeps hitting me at random moments.

I know that doesn't offer much support, other than to know you're certainly not alone. I'm trying to keep my mind of the positive - we will beat this and come out the other side! It's very hard to do though...

Hey, i appreciate this is a old postish. But im in a similar situation. My dad recently got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer , probably from his lungs. Its still very unknown. 

I cant imagine what my dad is going through but i can see the effect on me and my mom, we are still in shock, and panic we go into when he feels any little bit ill or unwell.

Im a busy girl with a quite mentally demanding job and i feel utterly exhausted. The issue is my dads not a go out type, so its hard to plan nice things along the way. But talking helps, feeling bad together helps, makes it real instead of pretending things are not happening. When my dad opens up a inch about the feelings we try to steer it in a positive direction. I would recommend taking a bit of time off as i defintely feel it would have helped process. 

Apologies for my comment being all over the place. But We all need somewhere to talk, so you just got to keep at it and take steps at a time, but youre not alone . Good luck

My dad was diagnosed with a Glioblastoma brain tumour recently and I’ve been finding it really emotionally exhausting too. It has affected his cognitive function too which means me and my sister are helping organising his finances and business, as he is not longer able to alongside our own jobs… I get to the end of the day and I’m exhausted. 

Feeling tired is natural if you’re processing this shock and also being an emotional, and other type of support. I’ve given myself permission to just have moments of time out throughout the day. Sometimes I take the dogs for a walk and I just sit with them on the beach for 5-10 minutes or so just to give myself that alone and restorative time. I’m still in the early stages just like you, so that’s all I’ve learnt so far :). I just take each day at a time and do my best. 

I’m sure you’re doing a great job too x

Thanks for the messages everybody I'm sorry I hadn't replied it genuinely has been a whirlwind of events since initial diagnosis including emergency surgery after a stent failure, Mums had the tumour removed and now we are just waiting on margin results to see what is next. She has genuinely shocked us all with how well she has dealt with everything, always known she was a fighter but this has certified her title as boss of the family. That alone has given me strength and direction over the last few weeks after the initial shock. I've spent a lot of hours walking and running is rapidly becoming a vice to process my feelings, being in nature has a funny way of helping even if we're heading into winter. I've also spent time talking through things with two really good friends who I respect and trust and having their support really lifted a lot of weight. Although I still have moments of sadness that come in waves, the tears have subsided for now. I really do appreciate you all taking the time to respond to my initial post it really means a lot. Sending you all love and masses of respect. X

Thank you for this. I really do appreciate it. Sending love to you and Dad. X

Thank you Emma. Sending you love and strength x

Thank you LuLu. My dog has been an absolute godsend! A bit tired from all the extra walks for the fresh air, but she certainly isn't complaining. Sending love. X

You're very welcome and yes I feel the same! Thank god for the dogs <3 they are make each day a bit easier. Sending love and strength xx