Hi BM1987,

Sadly im not living in the UK but I came on this forum for exactly the reason to find someone to talk to as Im feeling very lonely and lost at the minute. Also a woman in my 30s. My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last year. Shes had multiple treatments since but the chemo has stopped working and the cancer has progressed. Shes waiting on a new therapy after Christmas but she has started becoming symptomatic of her liver mets and she's lost so much weight. Finding the last few weeks completely over whelming. It being Christmas isn't helping and we're afraid this will be our last with her. I get these bouts of crying which are overwhelming and I feel so silly because I know we still have her and I shouldn't be falling apart, I should be making the most of each day and this Christmas . It's all feeling very scary and *** at the minute and it'd be good to connect with others that are going through something similar.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this . What you’re feeling isn’t silly or wrong at all, anticipatory grief is real, and it’s heavy, especially at Christmas.

Being in your 30s and watching your mum become more unwell is frightening, and the loneliness you describe is something I’m sure many here understand…

If others would find it helpful, maybe we could organise a Zoom call next week (across time zones) for anyone who wants to talk or just listen.

I appreciate I’m here on behalf of my friend but wondered if this could help? If so, I’m happy to organize. No pressure, just a safe space with people who get it. Lmk x 

I’m so sorry you’re going through this . What you’re feeling isn’t silly or wrong at all, anticipatory grief is real, and it’s heavy, especially at Christmas.

Being in your 30s and watching your mum become more unwell is frightening, and the loneliness you describe is something I’m sure many here understand…

If others would find it helpful, maybe we could organise a Zoom call next week (across time zones) for anyone who wants to talk or just listen.

I appreciate I’m here on behalf of my friend but wondered if this could help? If so, I’m happy to organize. No pressure, just a safe space with people who get it. Lmk x 

Hey, so I'm turning 30 next Month, found out a week and a half before Christmas that my dads cancer that had been in remission for just under a year is now Stage IV (colorectal with peritoneal carcinomatosis), and has been given 9-18 months. We were all a bit shell shocked at Christmas and kind of went through the motions. Also it doesn't help that I live a couple of hours away so it's hard to just pop in.

I am getting married in April and as he hasn't started treatment yet it's so hard to plan as I have no idea how he'll respond and how much he can be a part of the day, I'm trying to make a flexible plan. I'm the youngest daughter and the last to get married and we've always had a close bond. Now everything I was looking forward to is feeling bittersweet. And the anticipatory grief just sucks.

Also my job means I am the go to for the family for all the questions as I work in a similar field. 

Would be up for talking to other people going through similar x