Hello,

This is my first post, I’ve been a member for a while but never posted.

My dad was very recently diagnosed with Mesothelioma after a short stay in hospital with fluid on his lung.

He has had prostate and liver cancer before, I’ve seen him look somewhat ill but this is the only time he genuinely looks so poorly.

Ive gone into control freak mode, I’m putting together meal plans, a cancer “plan” book, phoning him all the time sometimes upward of 5 times a day, going to all appointments, researching benefits and grants. The horrible thing is that I don’t feel sad or anything. I feel numb and I hate it. Is this a coping mechanism for some people? Or has it not hit me yet?

i feel such immense guilt for not living in Bristol anymore, im only a 45 minute train ride away but i feel just awful for not being able to reach him faster. I’m making sure im going to stay for a few days every couple of weeks but I feel like im not doing enough.