Hello RhubarbDragon

I just wanted to reach out and reply to your post to say that you are very much not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities, pressures and sacrifices that have come hand in hand with caring for your husband. While you've not yet had a response from other community members I know that there will be many people out there who can recognise their own circumstances in the experiences you've described. 

I don't know what support you and your husband have in place, if any. And it may be that at the moment, one or both of you feel that outside support isn't what you want or need. But if this is something you would like to explore, then you can ask for a carer's assessment. This is separate from a care assessment for your husband, and you can read more on the NHS website. There is also information available on our website about taking care of yourself.

If it would help to talk things through with one of our nurses at any point, you're most welcome to give them a call. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040 (excluding bank holidays). I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. 

And of course, keep posting here in the Cancer Chat forum if it helps to have a safe space to put down in writing how you're feeling. We see you RhubarbDragon and we're here to listen. 

Sending you my best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Thank you Jenn for responding I was having a really bad few days and writing it down did help though i was also mindful of not upsetting others who might not need to hear this right now.

not considered a care assessment for hubby or had it mentioned before.....i will look into that and phaps carers too....

Sometimes everything does get too much doesnt it?

Thank you for your support i needed to hear it today 

Kind regards

RB 

I'm glad it's helped RB. Talk with your husband and then you can speak with his GP or whoever is involved in managing his medical care, such as the district nurses or hospice team, for a care referral. 

Hopefully the two of you can get some support in place that will make life a little easier. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hi Rhubarb, 

I came on here thinking of posting just to vent when I saw your post. Oh my days I totally relate to how you're feeling. 

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this, it's so cruel and I fully understand that feeling of being on high alert. It's exhausting! 

I feel like my feelings and emotions are constantly being chewed up and spat out. I'm absolutely drained. My Mum is currently in a hospice with stage 4 triple negative breast cancer which has spread to the lungs and liver. She's only just turned 57. Today's been a really tough day and I don't know how much longer I can keep staying strong. She originally went into the hospice to be put out of pain but things are progressing quiet quick and now I don't know if she will come out or not, everything's up in the air. 

The whole thing is pure turmoil. Sending you hugs and strength x