Hi biscuit1, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through with your Mum. My Mum is at the end of life with breast cancer so I know too well how this all is. I don't know the answer to the question about weight. I was sort of wondering myself. My Mum has lost a bit of weight but nothing drastic. Her appetite is very up and down.

I also wanted to reply because I can completely relate to what you're saying about people being in denial etc. I tell my Mum all the time that she needs to stop people pleasing and slow down. I feel like I'm the only one who sees how bad she actually is but then again I'm the only one who stays over at her house and sees her at her worst when others don't. It is frustrating though. Even now she's currently in hospital and people are texting her left,right and centre and it stresses her out. I tell her to just not open the messages and reply in her own time but that's just my Mum, she'll be a people pleaser to the end I'm starting to think which makes me sad. 

Anyway, sending hugs and strength x

Hello.  Thanks for replying. It sounds like we are in very similar situation!  Am so sorry to read about your mum too.

I actually wonder if the calcium becomes an issue before the weight loss if that makes sense ?  I know it's a real problem if secondary cancer is in the bones.

It's to difficult to know where you are at and it causes me to spiral all the time .  Add the denial of others and it's v hard not to feel alone isn't it ? 

X

I've read this again this morning. It's made me v sad to think of your poor mum trying to keep everyone happy and my heart goes out to you x

Hello, sorry it's taken a while to reply. My mum was in hospital for pretty much a week so I've just not really been on my phone. 

I completely get how you're feeling though. After my Mum had been in hospital for the week in a bad way people still aren't getting it and I feel like I'm going to snap at some point. 

I don't know enough to comment on calcium/bones. It's a difficult one :( 

Anyway I hope you're doing as well as you can in this situation and sending strength. X

Hi Strawberry Bear,  the denial is Awful.  Makes you want to scream inside yet you feel you can't go around being the grim reaper either .  It's so hard.  I hear you .

How is your mum now ?  Mine is much the same. Like watching a horrible slow decline 

Hello.i have stage 4 lung cancer and also finding it very hard to gain weight.i also have diabetes and pancreatitus so very hard to gain any weight.im supposed to drink 4 supplement drinks a day but they've started giving me really bad heart burn so have stopped them.what I do have is an air fryer next to my bed which helps massively.. I snack a lot cause I can't eat big meals n the air fryer is great for that.i can just pop smthing in n it's done in no time.maybe that would help cause I'm sure your mum can't handle proper meals and just wants to snack.its not a remedy but may well help just that little bit to get some nutrition into your mum.not a lot but I hope this helps a bit it has made my eating so much better even tho I'm still not gaining weight but that's because of other issues I have and may help your mum who hopefully hasn't got my other illnesses.x

Literally! Like my family's attitude is that she's going to get well enough to do things again. I know that's definitely not the case. You do not get better when you are terminal with months to live. 

She's not great if I'm honest (thanks for asking x). She's still in a lot of pain and very sleepy/weak. The hospice/palliative care team are very disappointing too. We're having to chase prescriptions all the time which is causing my Mum stress and the hospice just aren't there for her how we imagined. How is your Mum? I totally agree, it's so awful to see :( 

Bless you, I'm so sorry for what you're going through :( Thankyou for your advice. My mum does already have an airfryer which is a god send to her. She's loving cereal and soup at the moment bless her. 

What you've said with laziness and energy etc made me think of what my Mum said today. She asked me a couple of times if I think she's lazy and of course my response is absolutely not! At this stage you're having to listen to your body. Family will realise eventually like you said when going out with your brother. My heart goes out to you. Do not feel guilty for resting. Look after yourself <3

Thank you for the advice