I'm REALLY hoping someone can give me some help re weight loss in final stages

Hello. I have some questions about end stage cancer and the emotional impact of cancer 

Mum has extensive bone Mets, has twice had hypercalcemia and isn't eating much and finds it difficult to get up each day after sleeping for hours and is constantly exhausted.  

I know this is an odd question but do cancer patients always lose weight near the end of life ?  If everyone always very thin when they die?  And how long does that weight loss take ?  Is it quick and drastic or is it very slow ?  

Also I feel.everyone around me is in denial about what's going on and trying to push her to do things she doesn't want to do, like trips to.the seaside and days out !!   I feel like she's in the final months and should be able to do.what she wants !!  She's got no energy and eats so little each day.  But still takes water and oral chemo 

It's so hard to try and cope with this denial aspect as I feel she's being pushed. I get that everyone wants her to get better and i would give anything for her to get better, but she's sleeping more and barely eating ....

Thank you for any advice 

Parents
  • Hi biscuit1, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through with your Mum. My Mum is at the end of life with breast cancer so I know too well how this all is. I don't know the answer to the question about weight. I was sort of wondering myself. My Mum has lost a bit of weight but nothing drastic. Her appetite is very up and down.

    I also wanted to reply because I can completely relate to what you're saying about people being in denial etc. I tell my Mum all the time that she needs to stop people pleasing and slow down. I feel like I'm the only one who sees how bad she actually is but then again I'm the only one who stays over at her house and sees her at her worst when others don't. It is frustrating though. Even now she's currently in hospital and people are texting her left,right and centre and it stresses her out. I tell her to just not open the messages and reply in her own time but that's just my Mum, she'll be a people pleaser to the end I'm starting to think which makes me sad. 

    Anyway, sending hugs and strength x

  • I've read this again this morning. It's made me v sad to think of your poor mum trying to keep everyone happy and my heart goes out to you x

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