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Dad Says He Can See His Death

DeenieRR
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My lovely Dad has a terminal brain tumor.  We found out at Christmas and he had it out last Tuesday, although it will grow back. 

He's a very practical, stoic man, so what he said surprised me when I went to visit him in hospital today.

He said: "I can see my death now. It's a torus shape. It's ahead of me." Gestured straight ahead. "Quite distant, still, but I can see it now. I'm not upset by it. I can just see it now."

A torus for anyone that doesn't know (and I didn't) is basically a 3D donut shape. The fact that he called it that was odd. I have NEVER heard him use that term before. 

I just said okay. I'm glad it's distant still. 

 But I don't know what to do with that. It's REALLY gotten to me and I don't know why. I know he's terminal. But the fact he can see it.... I believe him completely. I don't know if he has told anyone else, and I don't want to say anything in case he hasn't and it's private information.  

I don't know how to cope with it. It's really on mind. Anyone had anything similar?

Parents
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    So sorry to read about your father. Having listened to his words, I can appreciate how torn your emotions may be. It can be so hard for us to accept what is happening to our relatives.

    However, there may be some comfort that he is at peace with what is happening. By choosing to share that with you, it could be a way of him trying to ease your own pain.

    Whilst he may have a stoic exterior, he will still sense your feelings and upset, even if you try to hide it and stay strong. The extra tight hug, or changes in your voice will make it evident. No parent wants to make their child upset or worry, regardless of age.

    Also, an MRI scanner is, in essence, a 3D doughnut. That will have contributed to his diagnosis. He will be aware of what is happening and knowing the time it has already been from diagnosis to surgery, he may be portraying his feelings and appreciating that the timescale of growth, and sadly, the subsequent events, will take him further into the future than he previously knew at Christmas.

    Sending love x

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    So sorry to read about your father. Having listened to his words, I can appreciate how torn your emotions may be. It can be so hard for us to accept what is happening to our relatives.

    However, there may be some comfort that he is at peace with what is happening. By choosing to share that with you, it could be a way of him trying to ease your own pain.

    Whilst he may have a stoic exterior, he will still sense your feelings and upset, even if you try to hide it and stay strong. The extra tight hug, or changes in your voice will make it evident. No parent wants to make their child upset or worry, regardless of age.

    Also, an MRI scanner is, in essence, a 3D doughnut. That will have contributed to his diagnosis. He will be aware of what is happening and knowing the time it has already been from diagnosis to surgery, he may be portraying his feelings and appreciating that the timescale of growth, and sadly, the subsequent events, will take him further into the future than he previously knew at Christmas.

    Sending love x

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