Hi Lindabobs, and a warm welcome to the forum, so sorry to hear your husband has metastatic prostate cancer, and how frightened you are feeling, what you are feeling is perfectly normal, It's an awful thing to be told you or a loved one has cancer, so please don't feel bad about the way you feel. It's the hardest time going through tests, waiting for results and for treatment to start, but once it does and you start fighting back against this awful disease things do get better I too have metastatic prostate cancer MPCa, diagnosed July 22, though our diagnosis is similar, I have a very rare and aggressive variant, I was given a prognosis, which is just a guess and ignore, though mine was never curable, many guys with MPCa are, and i know many guys still here 10 years on, I was in healthcare 15 years, 5 in cancer care and todays treatments are so much better than just 5 years ago and getting better all the time, my very best wishes to you and your husband at your oncologist meeting.

Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - thank you SO much for taking the time to reply. Just knowing there’s someone out there to speak to is massively helpful in itself. My husband has also been told he has an aggressive cancer. MRI no 5 & Gleason score of 10  - in lymph nodes & bones - so everything seems to be the worse it can be right now. He had a hormone injection yesterday & felt quite unwell. Hey ho - mustn’t make assumptions before oncologist. 
t Thsnks again - Linda 

I think it's the fear of the unknown I've proved to myself how strong I can be shed tears up the sand hill with my dog as my daughters husband was going through cancer of the throat at the same time as my husband liver cancer one in Blackburn and one in blackpool.a great 5yrs but they pulled themselves through it together but it's  very hard at the moment life span for liver cancer 5yrs 20th November when he had his op but we stay positive and take each day as it comes been away 4 times in 3mths and getting itchy feet again for scotland you stay strong love x

Morning Linda, I see your posting at 3am, poor sleep is normal, as is feeling awful meeting your oncologist, just be prepared, ask them every question you can think off, if you haven't got your cancer nurse specialist CNS yet, she may be at your  meeting, as she will be one of your MDT, she will be your connection to them and your oncologists, so get her contact details, If there is time before your meeting, could you get away or visit friends, even going for a nice long walk helps, married 44 years, that's wonderful, congratulations, Sheila, my partner and I have only been together 17 years, but we are getting married next summer, it was meant to be next Wednesday, but my eldest daughter, not Sheila's, "biologically" isn't well. We all find the strength to get through this, many couples love and relationship deepens, as I have been both carer and "cared" for, I like many others would say, being the carer is harder than being the bared for so please don't forget to look after yourself, It's so important you do. 

love Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - that’s a shame you’ve had to delay your wedding but it will happen next year & you have it to look forward to. Hope your daughter gets well soon. 
I’ve learned a lot from your posts - not least to make sure we ask questions & speak up & ask for help in need. We’ll give all of this our best shot. We’ve got our CNS - she’s nice - very approachable & I think may be helpful going forward. 

I’ve always been an insomniac & at the moment I’m just getting through as best I can. Sleep & anxiety meditation does help a bit. Posts in the middle of the night & reading are ‘par for the course’ for me. Thanks again - love Linda x

Morning Linda, and thank you for your kind words, my daughter and I boht have our MDT meetings next Monday, so a little stressful here, hence the 10 days at the Scilly Isles, the weddings all sorted, just a change of dates, we could have had it sooner but Sheila has SAD really bad and migrates to Australia for 4 months from November.

It's good to hear you already have your CNS, mine is at urology but she's on my MDT, and arranged for me to have an open door arrangement with her and urology, so i can pop in anytime without an appointment. sorry to hear about your insomnia, i had it for 18 months, I did relaxation therapy which has helped enormously, If your interested, you can attend or do it online at www.maggies.org PS if you have a local Maggie's, there well worth a visit, patients, partners and family all welcome open 9am to 5pm, no appointment needed, take care.

Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - thank you for your reply and as always reassuring words. Hope you and your daughter’s MDT meetings go ok tomorrow - goodness you do have a lot going on. 
We’re still waiting for a date for an appointment with the oncologist - we’ve both done lots of reading and have plenty of questions ready to ask. 
I think the elapse of time has helped us both process things a bit better and especially for me linking up on this chat line has made me feel less alone. I’ve taken a look at where my local Maggies is and my son has already reached out to them with questions which he’s found helpful.

Anyway - I’ll be thinking of you and your daughter on Monday and hope there’s some good and positive news for you both. 

Love Linda x

Thank you for your kind and positive words. If I can find a fraction of the strength you have I’ll count myself as very brave. You have so much to contend with. 

Hope you get to Scotland soon - I love Scotland very much! 

Love Linda x

Morning Linda, and thank you for your kind words regarding Mandys and my MDT meetings, it's almost certain it will be surgery later in the week for Mandy, i I have some idea where my treatment is going, I have 2 scan results tomorrow  too which may influence my treatment.

Good to hear your researching, on reputable sites I trust, the more you know, the better you can prepare. Regarding your questions, if you do a copy to give to your oncologist, they can answer them in an order which is easier to follow and understand, but always record meetingsand ask for a full copy of the meeting and any scan results.

I'm glad you are both feeling a little better, it's so tough in the beginning for everyone, and knowing your not alone and can talk to others on a similar journey, and realising your emotions are the same as everyone's is comforting 

Good your in contact with Maggies, they are wonderful and offer so much support, my Maggies are both about 70 minutes away, but well worth the drive.

Thank you again Linda, for tomorrow, it's appreciated, and best wishes to you both.

love Eddie xx 

Hi Dunes2019, I am so sorry I missed your post, memory issues, though I'm not sure it was intended for me, We are three years on from diagnosis and despite all my health issues we're doing ok, and that strength you mentioned that we find for each other and how this awful disease brings you closer together is a big reason why. my partner, Sheila, likes to say, we have cancer, cancer doesn't have us. Though we do have down days and I can start crying at any time, which I don't mind, I too have had a prognosis, 3 actually, so choose to ignore it, to me having some ones guesstimate of your possible time left hanging over you, cannot be good for you. I read you both love Scotland, so do I, though I live in Yorkshire, I was born in Oban, and we go to Scotland to see family and friends whenever we can, living life while we are able, seems to us to be ay to live

Eddie xx

Thinking of you Eddie & sending lots of very positive energy. 
Love Linda x

Thank you Linda, that's very kind of you and appreciated.

love Eddie xx

Thank you Linda, that's very kind of you and appreciated.

love Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - just wondered how things are with you? Whatever’s happening I hope you’re doing ok.

We saw the oncologist today. It’s advanced localised prostate cancer - hormones & radiotherapy treatment. In lymph nodes but not bones. Took your advice & recorded the meeting which has proved very useful & also got copies of everything we could. 
Treatment feels daunting atm but we’re trying to take one step at a time & not let our imagination run away with things. 

Love Linda x

Hi Linda, it's good to hear from you, and glad you got to see your your oncologist, your diagnosis is very similar to mine, as is your treatment, Linda, i'm sure your aware of possible side effects from hormone therapy, and there are a few, not everyone gets them, most of us just get some of them and they are usually treatable and eventually pass, but 1 fatigue, almost everyone gets, and it's the only one you can prepare for. It will really help your husband in the months to follow if he could get himself as fit as he can, it will lessen the fatigue and help him feel better physically and emotionally. treatment does feel daunting, but you get used to it, and fingers crossed, your lucky with side effects and HT give your cancer a massive blow. Radiotherapy is usually a few months after HT starts to give it time to shrink the cancer, I will have everything crossed for you both.

Thank you Linda, I am ok, I see my oncologist next Tuesday, as my PSA is rising, my treatment will change. I don't know if I told you but my eldest daughter is also fighting cancer, her 2nd time in 12 years, she's been through radiotherapy and surgery with chemo to follow, when her recurrence was1st diagnosed, the consultant gave her a year, so we swapped oncologists, and with just chemo to  come, her fab team are confident her chemo will cure her, you can imagine how happy I am, my very best wishes for your treatment.

love Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - just wondered how things are going with you & your daughter. Hope you are both getting through ok. 
My husband is getting lots of hot flushes with the hormone treatment but is managing to make light of it so far. Lots of appointments ahead - treatment & monitoring. 
Thinking of you.

Love Linda x

Hi Linda, It's good to hear from you, my daughter, Mandy has recovered from surgery, which went as well as possible, she will be having a scan next week and starting chemo Jan 2nd, all her tam are confident of it being done to cure.

I've been getting faulty scan results, and have seen my oncologists 4 times in 6 weeks, but my last 2 a fortnight ago CT/contrast and NM bone, show my cancer, 5 organs and 8 lymph nodes, is undetectable except for 1 lymph, which we are hoping to hit with SABR, there are 2 markers on my ribs, probably cancer but will know on Tuesday for sure, if it is, they will get hit by SABR as well.

Linda you said hubby is getting lots of hot flushes, but is managing them, if they become a problem, Menoforce sage tablets from Hollande & Barrett can help, and try to see appointments as opportunities to expand your understanding and discuss your concerns, I like Maggie's too and also go to the one in Leeds.

best wishes to all your family.

love Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - really sounds like positive news for your daughter & yourself with treatment going forward. Feels like they’re really on top of situations which is very reassuring. 
Thanks for the tip with Menoforce - anything that might help is very welcome. He also has a cold pack for his forehead sometimes which is really quick to lower his temperature. Every little helps as they say. 
Thanks for keeping in touch & take good care. 
Love Linda x

Morning Linda, you are welcome, and it's always good to hear from you, and thank you, I have had some good news lately which is welcome especially regarding Mandy, I have MDT meeting No5 on Tuesday "my 5th in 8 weeks", hopefully my last for some time, and we can finally make some holiday plans, as you probably know, we do like holidays, say hi to hubby for me and take good care of yourself too.

love Eddie xx

Hi Eddie - just to wish you a Happy New Year. Hope you are doing ok & have been able to plan some much loved holidays! Hope also your daughter is getting on well. 
We had a short blip when my husband’s bp went up too high so he had to have tablets to get that down. Thankfully they’re working so the next step is hearing the date for radiotherapy. Generally he’s coping well & getting on with life.

Deep snow here today so could be digging the sleds out if grandchildren arrive. Take care.

Love Linda x

Hi Linda, and happy new year to you both,I'm sorry to hear hubby's BP was up, but good to hear it's been sorted, and best wishes for the radiotherapy, have you been given a rough idea when it will happen?, and it's great to hear he's getting on with life, as I hope are you.

Mandy, started chemotherapy last Thursday, and is doing really well, my youngest "son" and DIL,  gave me 2 beautiful new granddaughters this morning, just after 3am, Lesley and Pauline, named after their Nana's, and mum are doing well and granddad couldn't be happier.

I am on holiday now, visiting friends in Dufftown in the Cairngorms, but home today before the snow arrives or we will get snowed in, sounds like fun getting the sledges out, take care.

love Eddie xx 

Aw Eddie - MANY Congratulations on the arrival of your grandchildren!! What lovely news for the New Year! Bet you can’t wait to meet them.! Sounds like your daughter is well underway - great to hear too!! 
Nige hopes radiotherapy will start before the end of January - he’s got appointment on 15/1 to discuss. 
Must be beautiful up in Scotland - a place very dear to our hearts. Safe journey home. 
Love Linda xx

Thank you Linda, I'm hoping to see them this week, but as I live in Yorkshire and my son on the Welsh borders, getting there might be difficult.

That's good to hear Nige's RT is soon, will his appointment be to get his tattoos too.

I love Scotland too, I was born in Oban, and have family their as well