Hiya. Sorry you're going through this at such a young age. It's not nice seeing it at any age, but 16 ...

Anyway, i wouldn't go fretting too much over what he needs. When my wife was initially ill, I was pestering her all the time asking if she needed anything, was wanting anything and after a while, i just began to irritate her. I was beginning to annoy myself if truth be told. The best thing to do is just be there for when he does need something. He will tell you. But all you'll achieve until then is to annoy the person you're asking.

We all want to be helpful, and your help comes from a good place, but seriously, just give him a little breathing space. His mind is probably going a million miles an hour worrying about the upcoming tests and potential results, and having someone constantly asking him things might become annoying.

Not saying any of this as a slight on you because i was exactly the same and most people are. But sometimes people just want to be left alone. Yeah, let him be the one to ask if he needs something. It will also do you good to stop being on edge feeling like you need to be doing something to help him. It's only natural, so don't feel bad.

So sorry to read about what you are going through, it must be so hard for you. My daughters are older than you and since my cancer diagnosis both of them and my wife have been brilliant but sometimes they have all been over attentive towards me. It’s really hard to explain, I don’t want to be a burden and I don’t want people to fuss over me. Now I think we have got it sorted out, after 6 months! If I need any help I will ask, plus the occasional “can I get you anything” from them is nice, even though I usually reply “no thanks darling”. I don’t have a feeding tube, but even with one I guess your dad isn’t an invalid and might prefer to do some things for himself. I know I did even when suffering pretty badly from the side effects of chemo. I hope you and your dad find the best way to make things work for you both, and I hope your dad goes into remission. 

thank you very much, this made me feel much better as i didn’t realise people were in such a similar situation to me. it means a lot. thank you for the advice and ill keep this in mind for the future when he undergoes treatment too. 

thank you so much, it is definitely tough seeing your own dad ill and i’m glad your daughters were there for you too. my dad doesn’t want us to fuss over him either so i understand where you’re coming from. i hope you are feeling much better and thank you for the reply :)

Welcome. Remember whatever treatment your dad has will have a big impact on him, and therefore on you as well. Again my kids kept asking me if I had any of the side effects, I had to promise them that I would tell them if I did! Everybody seems to react differently to radiotherapy or chemotherapy and also surgery. Whichever your dad has he will need support from you in coping with these. It isn’t going to be easy but you seem like a very mature and caring person, stay strong.