Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 5 replies
  • Views 1863 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Diagnosis over phone

ElleLoveMyMum
Offline

Hi, my mum got diagnosed with breast cancer & got her breast and lymph nodes removed last August. There was a mass found on her kidney about 8 months ago. She had scan a few weeks ago & got a phone call from consultant to say it was cancer. (She is 82 & was alone when she got call) is this normal? He gave her two options surgery or wait 6 to 9 months & see if it grows. She hasn’t been well constant urine infections extreme tiredness etc….She told him she wants to wait ….Can anyone offer advice 

Parents
  • Offline

    First, my thoughts are with your mum and family as this is such a hard time. Instinct will be to want to do something, to put this right, and it seems at least to be uncaring that she received such hard news in such a heartless manner. You do need to be listening first and foremost to your mum though, and what she wants. She may have a different perspective to you, and it’s her that owns this problem.

    you could suggest seeking a second opinion on mum’s behalf or with her, to get a clearer picture of her options face to face.

    Also consider speaking to the PALS group at the hospital where the consultant is based - it doesn’t have to be a complaint, but expressed as a learning point, then the consultant may not even be thinking through the full impact of their brief interractions in a phone call to a patient. Maybe there has been some aspect not relayed by your mum, or something about that conversation was misconstrued.

    above all, just keep reassuring your mum and making what mum be a very stressful time for her, as peaceful as possible xx

Reply
  • Offline

    First, my thoughts are with your mum and family as this is such a hard time. Instinct will be to want to do something, to put this right, and it seems at least to be uncaring that she received such hard news in such a heartless manner. You do need to be listening first and foremost to your mum though, and what she wants. She may have a different perspective to you, and it’s her that owns this problem.

    you could suggest seeking a second opinion on mum’s behalf or with her, to get a clearer picture of her options face to face.

    Also consider speaking to the PALS group at the hospital where the consultant is based - it doesn’t have to be a complaint, but expressed as a learning point, then the consultant may not even be thinking through the full impact of their brief interractions in a phone call to a patient. Maybe there has been some aspect not relayed by your mum, or something about that conversation was misconstrued.

    above all, just keep reassuring your mum and making what mum be a very stressful time for her, as peaceful as possible xx

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.