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Help with parent

Nat1979
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Hi all, 

My dad lives in France. He was diagnosed with throat cancer in nov 2033 but was unwell before that (quadruple heart bypass in feb 2020). He hasn’t recovered at all from the treatment, he’s still being fed through a tube, can’t eat, can’t drink, doesn’t leave the house, can’t walk more than a few yards. I am going to see him next week as he wants to talk to me about what will happen when he’s gone. I just feel he is giving up but I don’t want to put any more stress on him when he’s been so unwell - any tips on how to manage this? He’s in his early seventies. Many thanks x

  • Hello Nat1979

    I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. Understandably it will have been a worrying time for you both and possibly more so with the physical distance between the two of you. 

    I know that we have previously had lots of members share their experiences about treatment for throat cancer. Many of them would describe the process as brutal and I know from reading their posts that it takes many, many months for things to begin to return to normal. Given that your Dad was only given his diagnosis in November of last year, it's not surprising that he's still struggling with some aspects of his recovery. If you'd like to read about some of the experiences that others have shared I'd suggest having a look at this thread. I'd also suggest having a look at some of the posts shared by  aka Hazel. In particular, I know that many people have commented on how helpful her personal blog was to read through with things that she found helpful during her treatment and recovery. 

    If it would help to talk things through with one of our nurses before your trip you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to offer any advice, information, and support they can. 

    I do hope that you and your Dad are able to share some happy times together during your visit and that you are both able to openly and honestly share how you're feeling about things. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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    Hi Nat I’m Hazel aka Radioactiveraz. Our treatment is brutal. Its target is at one of the most sensitive parts of our body and mouth. We do everything with our health we eat we breathe we talk it’s even affect our sleeping recovery is a marathon. It’s not a sprint if you have a look at my blog you’ll see how treatment is brutal. It’s targeted  is at one of the most sensitive parts of our body and mouth. We do everything with our mouth  we eat we breathe we talk it’s even affect our sleeping recovery is a marathon. It’s not a sprint if you have a look at my blog you’ll see how I progressed Eating and drinking is a major social part of our life until you can do neither you have absolutely no idea how bad it can be. I’m sorry to hear your dad in this peg but it does  need to keep getting the nutrition and hydration in mine was an NG tube and in the way I was quite lucky I had it for three weeks treatments and three weeks during treatments if I’m totally honest it was a good couple of years before I could save food was provided me with any enjoyment. I took an attitude that food was fuel and I took a while to be able to eat anything relatively normal so try not to be too hard on your dad. I don’t think he’s giving up. It is just a very very difficult Cancer to recover from but I recovery rates so keep that at the front of your mind. Was your dad HPV positive do you know if he was cure rate is around 90%. Get him to read my blog as well I’m living a good life now. 
    hugs Hazel

    www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com. 

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