Help with parent

Hi all, 

My dad lives in France. He was diagnosed with throat cancer in nov 2033 but was unwell before that (quadruple heart bypass in feb 2020). He hasn’t recovered at all from the treatment, he’s still being fed through a tube, can’t eat, can’t drink, doesn’t leave the house, can’t walk more than a few yards. I am going to see him next week as he wants to talk to me about what will happen when he’s gone. I just feel he is giving up but I don’t want to put any more stress on him when he’s been so unwell - any tips on how to manage this? He’s in his early seventies. Many thanks x

Parents
  • Hello Nat1979

    I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. Understandably it will have been a worrying time for you both and possibly more so with the physical distance between the two of you. 

    I know that we have previously had lots of members share their experiences about treatment for throat cancer. Many of them would describe the process as brutal and I know from reading their posts that it takes many, many months for things to begin to return to normal. Given that your Dad was only given his diagnosis in November of last year, it's not surprising that he's still struggling with some aspects of his recovery. If you'd like to read about some of the experiences that others have shared I'd suggest having a look at this thread. I'd also suggest having a look at some of the posts shared by  aka Hazel. In particular, I know that many people have commented on how helpful her personal blog was to read through with things that she found helpful during her treatment and recovery. 

    If it would help to talk things through with one of our nurses before your trip you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to offer any advice, information, and support they can. 

    I do hope that you and your Dad are able to share some happy times together during your visit and that you are both able to openly and honestly share how you're feeling about things. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

Reply
  • Hello Nat1979

    I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. Understandably it will have been a worrying time for you both and possibly more so with the physical distance between the two of you. 

    I know that we have previously had lots of members share their experiences about treatment for throat cancer. Many of them would describe the process as brutal and I know from reading their posts that it takes many, many months for things to begin to return to normal. Given that your Dad was only given his diagnosis in November of last year, it's not surprising that he's still struggling with some aspects of his recovery. If you'd like to read about some of the experiences that others have shared I'd suggest having a look at this thread. I'd also suggest having a look at some of the posts shared by  aka Hazel. In particular, I know that many people have commented on how helpful her personal blog was to read through with things that she found helpful during her treatment and recovery. 

    If it would help to talk things through with one of our nurses before your trip you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to offer any advice, information, and support they can. 

    I do hope that you and your Dad are able to share some happy times together during your visit and that you are both able to openly and honestly share how you're feeling about things. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

Children
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