Husband just diagnosed with Bowel Cancer

Hi All,

My lovely husband has just been diagnosed in the last 3 days with bowel cancer.  We are just waiting to see how far developed it is as to what treatment he is going to receive.  He is incredibly fit and healthy and if he hadn't done the screening test sent to him we would have known no different.  My problem is that although he is fit and well AND incredibly positive I, on the other hand, am really struggling with it.  I am trying to be strong for him but I keep having relapses and I'm terrified of losing the only person in my life.

He has no symptoms whatsoever and has actually just started a sponsored walk for prostate cancer with our dog.  I think what I'm asking is how do people cope in my position and try and stay strong.  I wish so much I had my husbands outlook on life.  He's a pure bred optimist and I'm the original pessimist.

Thanks everyone x

  • Hello AliT and a big welcome to our forum, 

    I am sorry to hear about your husband's recent bowel cancer diagnosis. The news must have come as a shock to you especially as he is incredibly fit and healthy - I keep everything crossed that it will have been caught early. It just shows how important these little screening tests can be and how they can flag that something needs further investigation. It's good that he is such an optimist and that he is staying positive but don't feel bad yourself about not being a natural optimist - we are all different and your husband will appreciate your support just the way you are. It's normal to be terrified in a situation like this especially as everything is still so uncertain and you will hopefully feel better once you find out more about the treatment plan. 

    You are definitely not alone though on this forum having to deal with the news of a bowel cancer diagnosis and I just wanted to make you aware of  's 'Just had a diagnosis of bowel cancer' thread and feel free to respond to it if you would like to talk to someone who has also received a bowel cancer diagnosis and is waiting to find out more. 

    Keep strong AliT and if you have any questions once you have all the information about your husband's diagnosis and treatment don't hesitate to get in touch with our cancer nurses on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

    It's great that he is doing a sponsored walk with your dog for prostate cancer. I hope it goes well! I will now let our other members who have been in your place before or who have been dealing with a recent cancer diagnosis come and say hello and share their experience with you. 

    Best wishes and wishing your husband the best of luck for the start of his treatment, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thats the scary thing like your husband i had no symptoms whatsoever until the tumour had grown to 5 cm even then i felt ok other than some mucus and a small amount blood in my stools which prompted me to go to the GP , i even had a fit test a year before which was negative, i have since had the tumour removed and i am now on chemotherapy, hopefully your husbands will be in the early stages, as your husband says i felt as fit as a fiddle too 

  • Offline in reply to Gordgrc

    Awwww no.  I’m sorry to hear that.  How do you feel now?  Are you on the mend?  It’s just awful and heartbreaking.  I feel for you.  I really hope you’re ok x x x 

  • Offline in reply to AliT

    it was 5 cm before i knew anything about it , it was found during a colonoscopy because of a high fit score , it was only because i saw some mucus and very small amount of blood on my stool’s that i realised there was a problem and went to my GP and hence where i am now , i went to the GP on dec 21 and after tests i had an operation on march 11th , it ended up being a six hour operation which was done by keyhole ,i also have a stoma bag which is reversible ,  i have never experienced any pain whatsoever from the operation i was in hospital about a week, obviously the operation drains you a bit but i am recovered from that and now on chemotherapy for three months unfortunately every day seems like a week , at the moment it hasn’t been too bad it has its moments and the situation itself can get you down at times because i was active and i think you have to take extra precautions if you are in chemotherapy , hopefully they might have found your husband early ? But like i said mine was 5 cm before i even knew anything about it  and had a negative fit test the year before, this is my experience ,  good luck , let us know how you get on 

    what i would say is in my case the NHS was excellent 

  • Offline in reply to Gordgrc

    That’s great news that you’re having something done to get rid of this.  I can imagine you’re tired with chemo.  The NHS have been absolutely amazing.  From his diagnosis last week he’s already had his CT and MRI, bloods……everything and will be discussed this Thursday at an MDT.  The nurses are on n the phone regularly and have even told me to call them if it gets too much. 

    Thanks for your kind messages they are really helpful.  I’ll let you know as soon as we know what the next step is x

  • Offline in reply to Gordgrc

    Hi,  so Mick, husband, is seeing the consultant on Friday as there was a cancellation and the nurses wanted to get him in.  He is then having his pre ops done on Monday with a view to having an operation Tuesday onwards.  I hoping this is a good thing that he is being seen and dealt with so soon.  But I'm also scared that its bad news they are wanting to get him in asap.  Am I being irrational?

  • Offline in reply to AliT

    Well he isn’t having chemo before the operation which is a good sign so they may think they have caught it early, they are certainly moving fast which is a bonus, i wish him good luck because its very scary time 

  • Offline in reply to AliT

    Hi Alit.

    So my husband also was rushed through . From diagnosis to surgery was 4 weeks.

    Like you were were thinking the same . A mixture of wether it's a good thing or bad. It's  it's t's being dealt with so promptly. 

    He is now 6 weeks post op. 

    I do hope things go well  

  • Hi AliT,

    Sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis - it;'s a shock at the best of times, but especially when you have no symptoms

    Good news is, sounds like they've caught it early and your husband is positive. This was the key for us - Mine was stage 3 and I'm now 3 years post diagnoses and bowel cancer free :) From the initial diagnosis, my wife and I said we'd fight this together and we did. My wife and my kids were my focus for getting through it. It's good he doesn't need Chemo and/or Radio before the surgery. I did and that 5 weeks was tough but we got through.

    The surgery for me turned from keyhole to fully open as the tumour was quite twisted in. I don't expect this will be the same for your husband. I didn't have pain afterwards, though it took a while for my bowel to start working and I had a few more complication, possibly related to a condition I have. With the care of the AMAZING NHS, my wife and kids, I was soon enough (well, not for me!) home and recovery went well. I had a stoma for a year and now that's revered. The only issue I have is that i needed to put weight back on ... I just forgot to stop :D

    It's 100% natural to worry and strangely although I'm naturally a worrier, I'm also stubborn and determined to get my own way - which was beating cancer. You will both have moments when you're down, and maybe need a cry and a hug that's natural. Be there for each other in these moments and you will get through this. Don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone who offers.

    Then take the opportunity to do all the things you love and enjoy a long and happy life :)

  • Offline in reply to Geeker

    Thank you so much for that lovely reply.  I’m so pleased your recovery went well.  You sound just like my husband…..very determined to beat this.  Well he’s now 7 weeks post surgery and things couldn’t have gone better.  His surgeon, an absolutely amazing man, said he had one chance to get it all out……and he did it.  Husband is now completely cancer free and no need even for radio or chemotherapy.  They said it was textbook and couldn’t have gone better.  

    Hes back in 3 months to start his stoma reversal although he’s talking about keeping it so he doesn’t have to eat any of that green s**t ie, broccoli kale spinach cabbage etc .  We put our summer holiday on hold but we’ll definitely do something when his reversal has gone ahead.  He’s managing his stoma like a pro but gets anxious if he needs to empty it and he’s not anywhere to do so.  

    We’ve slotted straight back into a normal life routine and I don’t think it’s really hit us yet how close he was to a different outcome however the consultant said it may never hit us and to keep looking forward not think about the what ifs.  Great advice.

    look after yourself and your loved ones.  We’ve all been pretty lucky haven’t we.  

    x x