Hi I too have been recently diagnosed with breast cancer and due to see oncologist today. My husband has been very supportive and attends all appointments with me. He's the positive one in the house, which does help me try to be the same. However, I know he is finding this as difficult as I am to get his head round, it still feels a bit surreal. It must be really hard for a partner to see their other half go through this. We have been making plans for him to decorate too (mabe this is a thing) while I'm going through treatment. I'm due to have chemo first, then mastectomy, followed by radiotherapy. I will then need hormone blockers for 5-10 years. Best of luck with your appointment today and with your journey moving forward. Xx

Hi Pippin24. I hope your appointment went well today. I got a bit of a shock with mine as I was told it has spread further than thought. Hey ho. I start chemo in 10 days and hopefully that will shrink it. I then have an operation depending on the size it shrinks to but the part that has spread to my collarbone can’t be operated on just shrunk. My husband has been with me throughout and he was upset at today’s result. I’m the positive one here and just want to get on and get it finished. 

Sorry to hear that your news today was a bit of a shock. This happened to me after mri. I'd already had biopsies on two lumps, the mri then showed another area of concern. I had further biopsy which showed more cancer cells, but low grade. My appointment went well and everyone was lovely. Should be starting treatment end of Feb/ beginning of March. They mentioned to me about having a PICC line in place for treatment. However, a port was recommended to me by someone, so I've asked for this option. It's a bit more invasive to set up, but needs less maintaining and hospital visits. Hope all goes smoothly with your treatment, would like to hear from you along the way. Xx

First of all, I'm sending you love and strength during this time. I'm a carer myself to my boyfriend who been fighting lymphoma since 2021. He's just had a stem cell transplant so the caring responsibilities have been more full on than usual, i.e. helping him get dressed, cooking all meals, helping in and out of the shower etc it's never ending. I'm also working full-time in a new job and trying to have some sort of normal life as a girl in her mid 30s.

I know everyone is different and has different ways of dealing with things but from my experience the best thing you can both do is communicate. Ask your partner how he is feeling every now and then, if you are feeling well yourself of course which at times you won't be. The other thing I would say is give him space to feel how he needs to feel, make sure he sees friends/family to stay connected and have purpose. These things sounds minor but they have the biggest impact. 

Wishing you all the best and my DMs are always open if you want to rant/chat x

Hi Ccot,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Unfortunately, A cancer diagnosis doesn't just affect the person who has it, but their entire family. I am 14 years down the line, after having had 2 bouts of breast cancer within a year. My husband found my diagnosis very difficult to cope with. He eventually went to see a counsellor at the Haven and he found this very helpful in getting things back into proportion - Maggies offer a similar service and I would highly recommend this, when he is struggling. Charities such as these can give him some idea of what is likely to lie ahead, although as individuals, we often find bends in the road along our journey.

I sincerely hope that all goes well with your treatment. You will find that it gets easier to cope with, when you have a definite treatment plan in place.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you both get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx