My partner was diagnosed with neck cancer. He is halfway through his radiotherapy and chemotherapy treatments.  However, he was admitted to hospital last week as his oxygen levels appeared low and he has contracted pneumonia and a blood clot on the lung.  The day before yesterday he was transferred to the Critical Care unit.  I understand there is better equipment there for raising his oxygen levels.  One oncologist said that if the raising of the oxygen levels isn’t successful he may have to be put on a ventilator.  He has refused this option, saying he may as well be dead then to live this way.  Through some microbiology tests yesterday they have now found a specific viral/bacterial issue and have changed his antibiotics to target this.  I am so afraid he is going to die.  When I come home after visiting him, I feel so alone.  I can’t stop crying and I can hardly sleep.  We always spend Christmas Day together but not this year of course.  I normally don’t mind being alone but at the moment the house feels so empty.  I feel like I’m living in a void.  I don’t know what I’ll do if doesn’t survive this.  I love him so much.