My Mum has opted out of treatment and I don't know what to do for the best

My Mum was diagnosed with BC 2 years ago. She opted out of any treatment. She was a nurse for 40 years, is incredibly independent and we talked about her choice. I respect her wishes. It is not easy as I don't really know what to do, if anything.

My Mum has kept eating healthy, is not overweight, goes for daily walks, is very positive and until now, has not had any problems.

Her cancer is now turning into external bleeding lumps which she cares for by keeping them clean ect. She takes it easy if it hurts too much and is absolutely adamant that she will not go to a doctor.

I feel that when she does start to decline, I won't have any idea what I should do. Mum says that if she absolutely needs to go into hospital then she will and I shouldn't worry too much.

Does anyone have or is having the same experience?

Thank you xx

Parents
  • Hi. I relate to your post very much. My mum has just been diagnosed with cancer. Although we haven’t got to the point of having all of the tests, she says she doesn’t want surgery or chemo. I think it’s very natural for us to want loved ones to ‘fight’ and accept any treatment offered, but sometimes it comes down to quality of life over quantity for the person with cancer, particularly if there isn’t a curative option. I’m glad you’ve had the conversation about it with your mum…I have done the same. I made it clear that I would never pressure her into receiving treatment, as long as she is fully understanding of the consequences. She was so relieved to hear me say that. As your mum is an experienced nurse, I’m willing to bet that her decision is very thought through and logical, however I understand how painful it is for you to deal with xx

  • Hi, I completely agree. My Mum had a few tests done but when the consultant wanted her to have a full body scan, she basically told him where to go and decided on no more chats with the GP.

    My Mum was really worried that we wouldn't understand. When I said that I respected her decision and that the only thing she can control now is how she lives the rest of her life, she was really grateful.

    Thank you for reaching out and replying. It means alot and always here for you too. X

Reply
  • Hi, I completely agree. My Mum had a few tests done but when the consultant wanted her to have a full body scan, she basically told him where to go and decided on no more chats with the GP.

    My Mum was really worried that we wouldn't understand. When I said that I respected her decision and that the only thing she can control now is how she lives the rest of her life, she was really grateful.

    Thank you for reaching out and replying. It means alot and always here for you too. X

Children
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