Yes it’s very difficult seeing mum in that state. As long as she’s not in pain and conscious then I am in peace. Since last night mum start hallucinating ( I hope due to meds not cancer spread in brain) but she want to go home Tuesday so hope her last wish will be done as her oxygen has improve. She’s on morphine pump that delivers medication 24/7 as that help her a lot with pain and under palliative care your mum can request PRN for anxiety and panic attacks which will help a lot especially with sleeping at night so worth to mention to the nurses… I’ve just got myself half Xanax for anxiety as today it affected me very badly and I hope I’ll sleep if mum won’t call and sleep through night. The worse part is right now her hallucinations… I’ve talk to her in video and she was showing me corner of her room telling me someone is looking at her and stuff like that is really terrifying so I’ve calm hospital and ask nurse to check on mum and they give her lorazepam for anxiety and she went to sleep so I’m hoping she’ll be fine till morning but it really hurts… no words to describe and we have been very close whole life and went through so much together and now life turns out like that. 

It is so scary that the drugs that can often help often have horrible side affects!!

I hope both you and your mum gets a good nights rest!!

Yea my mum and I did everything together and had such lovely times, which I am very grateful for!!

Be strong, not for yourself but for your mum, remember regardless of how is your mum feel right now she as a mum would t want to see you suffer in any way especially suffer because of her being not well… embrace the good things, memorise the good days, and don’t get to hung up on future because it hasn’t happen yet and live in present and good past memories, smile because that what she would wanted… that’s all we can do, and that’s all what we must do for our mums. She wouldn’t want us to remember the bad things so for your mum keep your head up, I know you will make it and there will be a time when you will smile again. Time will heal everything, and I will keep remembering all the good stuff, because that will help me go through life knowing she is watching over me from heaven and so will your mum.

I am going through this just like you and lots of other people, I was asking myself why this happen to me mum and me but then I realise we are not special and other going through the same. So let’s make the best of worse and keep our prayers and we will make it through this for our mums as that’s what they would wanted 

Yes but without morphine there would be to much pain and anxiety would be through the roof… thank you for your time stranger… it help a little talking to someone who is going through the same and can related. Wish you all the best. You will make it through regardless of what yet to come. Take care and thank You

Thank you too, it does help a little you are right

take care and good luck with everything 

Thank you, take care

It’s so hard and overwhelming, as you say especially the time…going from mum marching about everywhere a month ago to just wanting to sleep all the time and being uncomfortable. It’s so hard to watch.

I am waiting for more information today to see what happens next.

good luck with your results and I hope there is something they can do to help your mum!!

take care, sending hugs x

Hi, I hope you don't mind me asking.  But how is your mum doing xx

Not good!! She had an episode last night where her blood pressure dropped massively and they phoned me to come in just incase, but when I got there her observations had gone back to what they’d been previously. So at the moment she is back stable but has vety slow speech and sleeps a lot x