We have just been told my Mum has weeks/months to live and I’m absolutely devastated.

We have just been told my Mum has weeks/months to live and I’m absolutely devastated. Up until Friday we knew nothing.
we live and do everything together and have the best times and I can’t imagine what life will be like without her. I don’t have my own family through choice/it’s just not happened, so I will be left in our house all on my own. I do have family nearby and friends but it just won’t be the same. I don’t know what to do with myself. Will I be able to cope?

  • Hello Starshine4

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the news that you have been given regarding your Mum's health. It's understandably an incredibly difficult time for you both and natural that you will have lots of questions and concerns about the coming weeks and months. 

    Hearing that a loved one has an incurable cancer diagnosis can be devastating and I know that this past week will have been a real rollercoaster for you both. Has your Mum been referred to a local hospice or palliative care team? Hopefully, this has already been done and you have had some contact with them. They are a great source of help and support so don't be afraid to lean on them. If you've not yet been referred or haven't heard from anyone then do get in touch with your Mum's GP practice to request that this help is arranged for you both. 

    I know that many of our members will agree that it helps to talk with someone at times like this. If you want to chat with one of our team of nurses you're most welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information, and support they can. 

    Keep in touch here on the forum if it helps to have somewhere to put down in writing how you're feeling. You're welcome to ask questions or offload here. We'll do our best to offer some support through this difficult time. 

    Sending you both my best wishes, 
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • She went into hospital yesterday as she was feeling so poorly!! I’m assuming she will stay there, but not 100% sure as it’s all happening so quickly!!

  • Hello Starshine4

    I'm sorry to hear that your Mum has been feeling so very unwell. I hope that the hospital team are able to make her feel more comfortable and that the two of you are able to spend some time together. 

    Keep in touch and let us know how things go. 

    Sending you both my best wishes, 
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • I hope so too. I thought she might be a bit better today but she was the same as yesterday. She now has a palliative nurse and I think they are starting a new regime tomorrow with morphine, so we will see what happens!! I am visiting but she is increasingly sleepy.

    thank you 

  • Is anyone online? My mum has cancer. Within a month from fully operation happy mum she is on palliative care. She’s very weak and since yesterday she has hallucinations, seeing things and hearing things. I struggle a lot. All happen so quick and is devastating 

  • I have no idea how this will progress, she was diagnose with lung cancer and it’s progressing very fast. It’s heart braking. She’s on extended course of steroids and doctor said this could happen th hallucinations and all due to meds. I’m just scared Omar’s I do not want her suffering like that and it’s heart braking. Last night she message me at 2 am asking for help so I went to hospital and s calmed down. I am in peace’s and don’t know what to do or how to help

  • She’s only 58 and this happen so quickly, my heart is broken and I have no idea how I will manage this and I do not want her suffer as she went through a lot and we were very close it’s devastating 

  • This literally sounds exactly the same as what has happened to me.

    All the nurses are asking if she had a frame to walk/caters etc and I’m telling them you NO…you wouldn’t believe this time last month she was marching around, staying in hotels, shopping, eating out, driving, gardening, etc she hasn’t been feeling well for the fee weeks and the last two weeks she’s slept more and more, eating less and less, getting weaker and weaker and now in hospital. Her speech is so slow and she still doesn’t seem comfortable in the hospital…which I was hoping she would. It’s such an awful time. I worry about her, am sad for her and me and I also need to get used to living on my own. Everything has changed over night.

    I hope you have friends and family around to help and support you and that someone else reply’s to your message who has gone through the same as us and can advise us how to get through this.

    thainking of you x

  • Starshine4 I feel your pain and your struggle. I am going through this my self right now. With that being said I have wife and daughter and for them I have to push through and for my mum of course as she would want me to be happy and do good in life its just devastating how fast everything changed… All I know that with time we all be happy again and find ourselves in peace knowing that our loved ones are watching over us from heaven… I know it’s painful but for them we have to push it through and remember that emafter very dark night there is always bright day. I’m sending prayers for you and your family 

  • Yes this is one of the things I’m finding the hardest…the change to everyday life of living with mum!!

    I agree our mums would want us to fight on and enjoy our lives.I too believe that she will be looking down on me from heaven, hopefully giving me strength and keeping me safe.

    thank you for your prayers and send them back to you.