She seems very weak so I couldn’t imagine her coming home, just getting worse.

she did say she was a bit scared, but she is of the generation where she says there’s nothing I can do about it and she just accepts that it’s her time to go and says what a wonderful life she has had.

Thank you for the suggestion, I might ask her about this tomorrow!!

I don’t have any siblings…that is what I am also finding hard!! I have no family of my own or siblings, so am now in mine and my mums house in my own. I do have lots of other family who are visiting and checking on me as well as lots of friends. This helps to know that people are here but is obviously does t stop the overwhelming sadness.

I wasn’t there when they came today but a palliative care nurse came to see her this morning and left her number if I had any questions. I think she said she was starting a new regime tomorrow with morphine.

I hope this will help mum be more comfortable, but I’m worried that it will make her even more groggy and tired, so less able to chat and maybe a bit confused…who knows!!

thank you again for replying xx

HI Starshine,

I am so sorry to hear this and hope hat you are wrong. 

My Mum was of the same stoic generation and although she put a brave face on things, she was absolutely terrified. It might be worth talking to your Mum tomorrow to see how she really feels. Also, have you discussed where she would like to spend her last days? We don't always get to do what we want, but you'll find it useful to know. Would she be happy to pass in hospital, or prefer a hospice, or would she really like to go at home?

When my 97 year old father-in-law was in his final days, he was in hospital. He had lost his wife just 3 months prior, then complained of a sore back. He had 5 visits to his GP, who told him that it was just Arthritis. On his final visit, he saw another GP, who referred him to the day hospital, for assessment the following day. He arrived at 11.00am and by 2.00pm, we were taken into a room and told that his body was riddled with cancer and at best, he had about 2 weeks to live. The environment and care in the hospital were not the best for end of life care, but when we discussed moving him to a hospice, just 10 minutes drive from the hospital, we were told that he was too ill to move. On his fourth day, they decided to move him and he passed away quietly overnight on the fifth..

I am sorry that I mentioned siblings in my last reply - I was already composing my next reply to someone else in my head, as I wrote to you. I know that you are on your own, which is why this is so hard for you. Did the palliative care nurse have much to say to your Mum today? If you have any questions, you might find it helpful to write them down, before you speak to her. 

I hope that the Morphine will make your Mum more comfortable, although it is likely to make her sleep more - the main thing is that it should control her pain much better than her previous medication.

Thinking of you and I am always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Emma, 

We haven't heard from you for a while and I am just wondering how you are?

Always here for you.

Jolamine xx

Hi Emma,

I am so sorry to hear that your mam passed away before Christmas, although I am glad to hear that you all managed to be with her at the end. It is never easy to cope with the loss of a loved one, especially when that person is your mam, who has been there for you throughout your entire life.

It is reassuring to hear that you have had such amazing support and that you are getting through this as well as you can. This is always a hard time and we all come to terms with our losses eventually.

I am sending you and your family my sincere condolences and I am always here for you when times are tough.

Kindest regards,

Jolamine xx