My father is now 82 and was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago and to be honest i didnt really know how to take it. Becuase they looked ok i was in denial we mustered along and now he is bed bound. Unable to do anything for himself. Once a proud man now bed bound. Every day i feel like im just watching him die a little more and i see him suffering. Although his body doesnt really work any more. His eyes and fave tell a story of pain and suffering he has always been a strong man and still to this day he is still him strong self if that makes sense but to watch him kills me i see the look of sadness in his eyes and sometimes i feel like my dad is thinking the worlds things but doesnt say.
i dont really have anyone i can talk to. I sit here reading everyones issues to find comfort although its other peoples posts i relate to them and seek comfort in replies like theyre for me.
i dont want my dad to leave but i dont want to see him suffer also.
i know hes not going to get better. My dad did so mucj for us growing up we grow up on little money but my mum amd dad made sure we never felt this.
I hear of the sacrifices and things my dad endured to bring me and my siblings up and it kills me
i also know i never did enough to show my appreciation for this
we act like our parents will be around for ever and now the time is almost up
i dont even know how i feel at times but feel heavy and dead at the same time i have my own family to bring up but dont feel like il have the strentgh to do this i feel like i want to give up but i know i cant but at the same tome im broke
im scared im going to fail my daughter in her upbringing
