Lung Cancer and weight loss

Hello,my name is Andy my mum has had Lung cancer for 7 years,she has had immunotherapy which did stiop tumours growing they are quite large but several years ago she git Adrenal cancer,then several months ago she kept being admitted the hospital said she had Gastritus lost lots of weight and since has had a scan showing new spots now on her lungs and liver untreatable,they said it's a 1% chance of working..She hasn't eaten hardly anything fir 2 months,but when admitted over the last week brain scan cts tests on heart and bloods indicate nothing,they have told her the eating is nothing to do with the cancer CATEGORICALLY and she has now been sent home so weak my dad has to change her and do everything fir here..She's ttally confused and very angry,as absolutely no reasons given fir hr bringing up the food se eats,she has had the protein shakes nothing works..we are absolutely desperate as the hosital was titally useless just sent her home with no advice absolutely nothing,they even said come back if it doesn't imprive..She can barely walk two months ago she looked fine,why do they have no explaination,i presumed it was the cancer bit no mention of cachexia,she has also lost her eyesight and another thing they can't explain..Surely this cannot be right,she'll be lucky to live fir a week the condition she;s in we don't know what to do..She and my father are titally distressed,they haven't offered any feeding tube just said come back,this is extremely strange,she will literally starve to death and not from the cancer...Please could you give me some advice i'm so desperate fir my mother to get some sort of answr or advice..Many Thanks Andy F..

Parents
  • Hello Andy and thanks for posting.

    I am sorry to learn of your mum's situation and that she is very weak and sounds very frail. This must be so difficult for both you and your dad.

    As Lucie has mentioned if you are getting concerned that she is dehydrated and deteriorating quickly get urgent help from NHS 111 or dial 999.

    I wondered if the GP is aware of your mum's situation. If her cancer team doesn't think the cancer is causing it, the GP will be in charge of your mum's medical care whilst she is at home. They can assess, and refer her to the hospital and a dietician either at the hospital or there may be a dietician in the community.

    Your dad could see if he could get an urgent referral.

    I hope your mum can get the help she needs. Do come back to us if you would like to talk things through with one of our nurses on the helpline. The freephone number to call is 0808 800 4040 and we are available between 9 am and 5 pm Monday to Friday

    Take care,

    Jemma

  • Thanks fir reply Jemma,my mum came home and i have had flu so not even git to see my mum again and then she git hospitalised yet again,sorry i've only just seen your reply,now my dad is getting some help in,i said i can move in with him if things get to much..Thanks for the advice and reply..

  • My mum passed today at 7.30pm she came in and out of Hospital another 4 times,she had a mini stroke and eveyhing escalated after that i don't know wether it was the combinaton of her terminal cancer and stroke that was the cause fur her passing..or either or..I soke to her yesterday afernnon,i told her i loved her and she said it back,my dad and brither told me that she wasn't understandng anything,i'm not sure they trued hard enough as she understood plenty that i said to her..I stroked and held her had but she was pulling away,so i said do you not like that she said not much so i strked her chheks,her eyes were shut throughout..I just wanted to hold her after she said my bums hurting and my toes are cold,repeated this several times i said do you want the nurse to have alook no she said,i kissed her on the forehead several times,i wasn't crying or upset at that point i just saw her as a baby the way she spoke was so gentle,never heard her speak like that before..I said to her are you tired now she said yes,repeated again i love you and kissed her furehead,then i saod go too sleep now mum gave it 5 mins and left..After that she never spoke again,she was unconcious by the evening when my brither and Dad were with her..And today she pased as he sat with her...i just keep playing the conversation over in my head,i just wanted to ciddle her when she said about her bum and toes,she was like a newborn baby,that needed protecting she suffered so much in the years and especially the last two months and weeks.I was happy i just caught her in time but now i'm heartbroken i couldnt ask her some more stuff..I think my brother and dad just thought she was rambing so didn't have a proper conversation with her,they missed out but i can't stop crying about the conversation it was her expressing herself more,i wish she'd been like that all through my younger years..I love you Mum.. 

Reply
  • My mum passed today at 7.30pm she came in and out of Hospital another 4 times,she had a mini stroke and eveyhing escalated after that i don't know wether it was the combinaton of her terminal cancer and stroke that was the cause fur her passing..or either or..I soke to her yesterday afernnon,i told her i loved her and she said it back,my dad and brither told me that she wasn't understandng anything,i'm not sure they trued hard enough as she understood plenty that i said to her..I stroked and held her had but she was pulling away,so i said do you not like that she said not much so i strked her chheks,her eyes were shut throughout..I just wanted to hold her after she said my bums hurting and my toes are cold,repeated this several times i said do you want the nurse to have alook no she said,i kissed her on the forehead several times,i wasn't crying or upset at that point i just saw her as a baby the way she spoke was so gentle,never heard her speak like that before..I said to her are you tired now she said yes,repeated again i love you and kissed her furehead,then i saod go too sleep now mum gave it 5 mins and left..After that she never spoke again,she was unconcious by the evening when my brither and Dad were with her..And today she pased as he sat with her...i just keep playing the conversation over in my head,i just wanted to ciddle her when she said about her bum and toes,she was like a newborn baby,that needed protecting she suffered so much in the years and especially the last two months and weeks.I was happy i just caught her in time but now i'm heartbroken i couldnt ask her some more stuff..I think my brother and dad just thought she was rambing so didn't have a proper conversation with her,they missed out but i can't stop crying about the conversation it was her expressing herself more,i wish she'd been like that all through my younger years..I love you Mum.. 

Children
  • My advice is if you are in this postion go in by yourself,i felt completey calm and connected on my own i wouldn't if i had been with others,and just speak normally without impatience if they are talking you will get some replys that are abit inchorrent,but they will become more lucid on other stuff..I'm so glad i went as my dad and bother said i wouldn't understand her,they were totally wrong,it was heartbreaing when oi git home but in that moment it was perfect and serene i felt so relaxed..I just hope my dad can get thriugh this married for 57 years ad he hasn't stopped crying fir months and he doesn't want people round him who are doing the same..I don't know how long to leave him alone,if anyone has any adice i would welcome it,he has always been uptight byt doesn't like to be seen crying by anyone,i know he doesn't wat me riound his house so wgat should i do i have already offered to stay wih him and ask if he needs anything,but aus he'll be fine..