Anxiety Going Through The Roof

Hi!

I really really need some reassureance is its possible. My husband has had a diagnosis of recurring bowel cancer after being clear for the last 5 months. Since we got that diagnosis I have been unable to function normally or focus on anything at all. He is the one who is as far as I can see holding it all together but I know his head will be all over the place. He says I'm constantly reminding him of it and he is trying to forget about it just now because I keep breaking down at the least wee thing.  We got this diagnosis two weeks ago and we see the oncologist Thursday of this week to find out hopefully a management plan. When we saw the surgeon who told us about this new diagnosis she said that the cancer had come back in his stomach lining and pelvis but said it is `slow growing`.  Her colorectoral nurse assistant mentioned that they may want to insert a stent into him but what would this be for. I have made the big mistake of constantly `googling` information and some of it contradicts each other some information says recurring bowel cancer can be cured and then another says it can't. I'm so confused and its driving me round the bend. I know I shouldn't do it but can't help it.  It's getting to the stage I don't really want to go to this appointment with him on Thursday incase the oncologist says different to what the surgeon says. She said it is `slow growing` and he still has years in front of him not days, weeks or months and this has stuck in my head but I am really scared the oncologist will say different. Thanks.

 

Vicky

Parents
  • Hi Vicky.  I know that this must be a terrible time for you, and it is absolutely natural that you are worried sick about your husband.  However, I am going to be straight with you here...........your husband NEEDS you to be strong.  How must it be for him, he is the one with the cancer and he needs your support, and he has said as much.  To see you keep breaking down when he is trying to hold everything together must be absolutely horrendous for him.  I have stage 4 cancer and I am caring for my husband who is so ill that he may not be here by Christmas.........I go in to the bathroom to do my crying and I put on a brave face for him.  I am sorry if I have over-stepped the mark with you, and forgive me if I have been too blunt, but your husband needs a bit of support.......this isn't about you, it's about him.  Violet. 

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  • Hi Vicky.  I know that this must be a terrible time for you, and it is absolutely natural that you are worried sick about your husband.  However, I am going to be straight with you here...........your husband NEEDS you to be strong.  How must it be for him, he is the one with the cancer and he needs your support, and he has said as much.  To see you keep breaking down when he is trying to hold everything together must be absolutely horrendous for him.  I have stage 4 cancer and I am caring for my husband who is so ill that he may not be here by Christmas.........I go in to the bathroom to do my crying and I put on a brave face for him.  I am sorry if I have over-stepped the mark with you, and forgive me if I have been too blunt, but your husband needs a bit of support.......this isn't about you, it's about him.  Violet. 

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