I recently had an abnormal smear test result and visited my local women's hospital on Monday.  The doctor said I was borderline at the moment, however, I told her I was worried as I have been in the position before, back in 1993, and that I take immunosuppressants to treat a rare health condition I have.  She confirmed this was a concern for her too, but said she would see me in 12 months and see what was happening.  And that was it, i will never forget her body language, she offered no opportunity to speak further, didn't ask who my rheumatologist was, and basically showed very little interest in me as a woman.

I feel like I am trapped, if I stop my immunosuppressants, then the pain from Relapsing Polychondritis and arthritis is unbearable, and I find the relapsing Polychondritis is made worse by stress.  My face, nose, ears, eyes and neck are so painful I can't concentrate and my eyes become sensitive to light.  But if I stay in them, they wipe out my immune system meaning I struggle to fight diseases and infections.  This could cause the HPV to develop faster which is considered 'high risk' variant.  I have made contact with my rheumatologist and still wait for a response.  I just don't know what to think.  I may never develop cancer, or I could based on the test results and meds. I am really frightened of the future right now.