I feel exactly like you 

I'm 50, I have 4 kids. My labours have all been quick (all under 5hrs from start of contractions). My first one was traumatic, I was 19 & needed stitches as I had torn internally & wouldn't stop bleeding. 

This has made me anxious for each smear, so I tell the nurse the reason, but I tense up as soon as they insert it, I try the breathing techniques suggested, the nurse will suggest different positions & make a couple of attempts, trying different sizes, they eventually will get a sample, but the whole thing is extremely painful.

The older I have got, the worse it's become. The nurses seem unsympathetic too - I thought they were making small talk - them "how many kids do you have?", Me "4", them replying with words to the effects of, come on you know what to expect, you've been through it before, you've gone through labours. Or them "do you have a (sexual) partner", Me "yes", them replying with words to the effects of, don't know how you get on then, how on earth do yo manage then, come on you know what to expect us it painful during sex... 

Seems I was also told something about prolapse last time, about propping up on cushions, something about cervix position had changed, & her attempting numerous times, suggested we give up & finally getting a sample, but it's agony & I'm so stressed & upset....

Iv suffered some bad life events over past 2yrs & I have just got my reminder letter through. I can't face it & wonder if I can ask for a home test kit, given the extra suffering I now have? 

I get you...

The nurses seem to suggest the breathing techniques, "put your knees together, now drop apart & relax" , will attempt with a couple of different sizes, suggest my fists under my bum...

They get frustrated & have made comments like, how many kids have you got? You've been through labours. You have a partner? How do you manage? 

It's just really painful

That's the exact sort of comments I had over the years 

Pretty disgusting really isn't it...I'm just relieved I only have one smear left to do !

This all resonates with me Makes me feel ill just thinking about it I read 3 years ago that they were going to introduce a urine test for this and I was so relieved but nothing seems to have been done about it,  Unless we're just being kept in the dark about new changes

Oh goodness I pray those urine tests will come in soon...there must be so many of us out there who really struggle with smears, my anxiety goes off the scale when one is due .

They suggested the same to me but didn't help, the fists under my bum actually caused a lot of pain in my lower back (hurt it years ago) 

for me it's the attitude of the nurses, when I went to the doctor she was great and able to do it with just a little discomfort because she explained what was wrong and why it happened and didn't rush me or get frustrated like every nurse has. 
Unfortunately last year I had to go and have a colonoscopy which didn't go well, nurse was like sergeant major and had a go at me as it shouldn't hurt, anyway couldn't do it and she basically threw me out. After further investigation of my smear it was thrush. Do have to have another this year soon, and dreading it, hoping the doctor will see me again as do not want to see a nurse again. 
I did a private at home one last year and was great, so easy but was pricey. Would be great if the nhs rolled this out for everyone. Fingers crossed 

Hi Ive been wondering the same thing. I went today for my first one and it was so painful, she started inserting the speculum when the pain was unbearable. She said that that the smaller size, the virgin one, wouldnt be any good for getting samples. She said if I'm not sexually active I dont need to have a screening and then sent me on my way.

Im wondering if anyone else has this issue or has found a way around it?