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Pancreatic cancer fears

Bluebear
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Hello everyone

I am new here and reading others' posts to the forum I have been both terrified (by the heartbreaking scenarios some are facing) and encouraged (that I am not alone in my fears and all-consuming anxiety).   
 

I am a previously fit and healthy female of 54.  Since Christmas I have been experiencing a range of symptoms which have worsened over time: mild indigestion, dull ache in right side under ribs and more recently the same  in my mid-back, tiredness and now some albeit minor weight loss  all of which, seem to me, based on extensive online research, to match with pancreatic cancer and very little else.  
 

When I first saw my doctor at the end of December she thought I presented with symptoms of  all too common gallstones and I was reassured.  She referred me for bloods and ultrasound, mainly  for my peace of mind.  Other than slightly raised amylase  my results were normal and on a repeated blood test the amylase had lowered which was further reassurance.  The ultrasound showed no gallstones and a normal thin-walled gallbladder.  Although still experiencing intermittent symptoms, I felt it might just take a while for things to settle if my gallbladder or pancreas had been irritated.  However iby mid Feb my symptoms seemed more frequent and the dull ache in my side although not constant had spread to my back.  Also I was finding I am less hungry, so  I went back to the doctor (was seen by different doc) who referred me for a chest x-ray (which was clear) and a CT scan which I had yesterday,  
 

I fully understand the dangers of Googling symptoms and also, I am aware that at the moment - in lockdown, with time on my hands and a lack of the normal distractions - I am probably hyper-focussed on my symptoms  but they match so well with pancreatic cancer, particularly as they  have steadily worsened.  I also know it is one of the most difficult cancers  to diagnose, frequently not picked up by initial diagnostics  and also to treat so I am terrified and already trying to prepare myself mentally for the worst news.

Just wondered if any of this resonates with anyone else.

Thank you.

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    Hi Bluebear,

    I understand your anxiety, it is indeed a frightening illness to think about, but you are right, you're not alone.

    I'm currently awaiting results of a biopsy & (yet another) ca19.9 blood test. I started getting abdominal pains about a year ago. I will probably post my long story sometime (I'm new).

    It's natural to be anxious about illness, but if you find that the worry is affecting your life, I would look into ways to try and alleviate it. There are loads of resources on-line & your GP may be able to help. My own way to cope (which works most of the time) is to think 'if I worry, & it's not cancer, I'll have wasted precious time over nothing, & if it is, my time may be more precious, and I certainly don't want to waste it'. I know it may sound blasé, but I can only say what works for me.

    Of course, there are times when I worry, feel frightened, feel guilty towards Mrs WilliumBill & the kids, but I just try & get through those times by thinking about how they will pass. I also find music & reading help, to distract me.

     

    I hope this helps in some way, & that the CT results give you reassurance. WB

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    Hi Bluebear,

    I understand your anxiety, it is indeed a frightening illness to think about, but you are right, you're not alone.

    I'm currently awaiting results of a biopsy & (yet another) ca19.9 blood test. I started getting abdominal pains about a year ago. I will probably post my long story sometime (I'm new).

    It's natural to be anxious about illness, but if you find that the worry is affecting your life, I would look into ways to try and alleviate it. There are loads of resources on-line & your GP may be able to help. My own way to cope (which works most of the time) is to think 'if I worry, & it's not cancer, I'll have wasted precious time over nothing, & if it is, my time may be more precious, and I certainly don't want to waste it'. I know it may sound blasé, but I can only say what works for me.

    Of course, there are times when I worry, feel frightened, feel guilty towards Mrs WilliumBill & the kids, but I just try & get through those times by thinking about how they will pass. I also find music & reading help, to distract me.

     

    I hope this helps in some way, & that the CT results give you reassurance. WB

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