Hello Biblio578, 

It's so nice of you to be so supportive with your mum at a time when she needs it the most. How lovely that you see yourself working together as a team overcoming this. This is probably a very stressful time for you both as you are waiting to hear back and to get the definite results. Even though the doctors mentioned surgery and ablation would be likely, at this stage she doesn't yet have a diagnosis so the best thing to do really is simply to wait until you have all the details of her diagnosis and then you will be in a position to analyse all the facts and start processing the information you have been given. It's definitely good news though that her lymph nodes are clear. So try not to worry too much at the moment or anticipate what it might be. Simply be there for your mum as you have been doing and it won't be long until you have all the important details. 

I am keeping everything crossed for your mum that everything is ok. Do keep us updated if you can when you get a chance. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Biblio,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry to hear why you have joined. I have been through the situation that you are in with my own mum and, know just how worrying this can be. Sadly, we lost mum to secondary cancer after 12 years. I have since had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself and, have seen how much diagnosis, treatment and aftercare have improved in the interim.

Your mum is fortunate to have you to support her, as this is something that she will treasure. It can be a lonely journey on your own.

Although you may not feel so at the moment, it is good news that a routine mammogram has picked this up and that there is no spread via the lymph nodes. It sounds as if she has caught this early, which is the reason for having mammograms. Instead of dyingwith breast cancer, many people are now living with it. I was very scared at first and concerned about what would happen to my family. Since then I have seen both of my children go to university, graduate, find gainful employment , get married andhave families of their own.

I was fortunate that both of my cancers were caught early and hadn't spread to the lymph nodes either. I now lead a different life than I envisaged, but It is still a busy and fulfilled one.

I hope that your mum will be able to do the same. Have you been given a date for the biopsy results yet? Please let us know when you hear. In the meantime, please remember that we are always here for both of you.

Hoping and praying for good news.

Kind regards,
Jolamine xx

Hi [@Biblio578]‍ 

It sounds like your mum is in a similar position to me right now, I'm really sorry that you are going through this, but I know that your mum is so lucky to have you by her side to support her!

I received the news last week that I have breast cancer and I am currently waiting for an mri scan before the doctors can confirm exactly what treatment is needed. The cancer is in my right breast, and the ultra sound has also shown my lymph nodes are clear. 

My breast care nurse shared with me the following information and I have found it very helpful in understanding what is next. 
there are four types of treatments:

1. Surgery

2. radiotherapy

3. chemeotherapy

4. tablets

I have been told that some people need only 1 treatment while others may need all 4, or any combination. 
For me, I definitely need no. 1 but until the mri scan, they cannot confirm if this will be lumpectomy or mastectomy. If lumpectomy, I will then need no. 2 - radiotherapy on the remaining breast tissue (this sounds the same as your mum heard) however if they take the whole breast, radiotherapy will not be required (as there won't be anything there to treat). 
I am young (32) so my cancer is affected by hormones which means I definitely need treatment no. 4 - the tablets. I assume your mum is much older than I am if the result came from a routine mammogram so I don't know if there are different tablets for this case?

No. 3 - chemotherapy is currently unknown for me. I think they need more information from the mri before they can tell me. 
 

It is a lot to take in and process but I have found remember this system of numbers has helped me. Not only to process myself but it is also helpful when trying to explain to family and friends. 
 

As I say, I am only a few days into this journey myself so please don't take anything I have said as a definite answer for your mum, her doctors will be able to help with exactly what she needs each step, but I hope I have helped a little with the processing! X

Dear Lucie, Jolamine & MissThomas (sorry I couldn't find your given name!) 

Thank you so much for your responses, which were all comforting and helpful. In addition, thank you for sharing your personal experiences with BC and being so honest. I wish anyone who is dealing with this a speedy and successful recovery. 

My mum gets her results on March 11th so two days time.  The issue is her right breast. 

Realistically, how long will she be waiting for surgery approx? Could the cancer spread during this time? 

What did you do after being told? 

What could have made the day better for you? 

How does your life change after diagnosis? Are you ever really cancer free. I appreciate their are many variables, but any insight is so welcome right now. 

Thank you again ladies. You have really helped me start to understand.

With love, B x

Hi [@Biblio578]‍ 

Sorry you couldn't find my name! I think I was in denial when I made the account on here and felt unsure about sharing my name for some reason, I guess it was the 'this isn't happening to me!' feeling. My name is Hettie

It is also my right breast that is affected. I have gone through your questions below, but as before, please remember that I am new to this too and your doctors advice will be far more accurate. 
 

So far, for me, everything has moved very quickly. I found the lump on Feb 14th saw the GP on the 15th and had an ultrasound and biopsy on the 19th. I got the diagnosis on March 3rd and yesterday (8th) I had an MRI. I have been told I will now wait 1-2 weeks for further results and a treatment plan. For me, this includes confirming if I will be having a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. I have been told that the surgery will take place within 31 days of that decision. I have also been advised that the cancer is slow growing; during this period, it is not getting bigger or spreading and I must try not to worry about that!

What did I do after I was told? Well firstly, cried a lot, I won't pretend I didn't! But I also put a brave face on as my best friend gave birth the same day as my diagnosis and I couldn't bare to share my news right away. I have tried to stay focussed on the positive things. Looking ahead to the summer when I plan not only to be a cancer survivor, but also enjoying time out of lockdown and also planning my wedding! But for me, I have also had to be realistic. Yes I'm positive about the future but it's going to be bloody hard getting there so I have tried to mentally prepare myself for the scary scary ride I am about to take. 
 

I am very lucky to have a very very supportive fiancé and I don't really know what else he/we could have done on the day. The only big thing was that I literally couldn't eat. I had a solid lump in my throat and could not swallow. After a couple of days, I started to get really weak and run down, which made me feel like a 'sick person' which then made me really angry. So I gave in and bought a big tub of chocolate ice cream and that helped a lot. So the only thing that could have made it better was chocolate ice cream earlier on!!

I can't really answer your final question yet as I'm still yet to find out but I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that I bloody well plan on living a cancer free life!! (Apologies for the language!!)

I hope that helps, B, sending love to you and your mum

Hettie x

Dearest Hettie [@MissThomas1988]‍ 

Thanks for sharing your name - I hope you didn't think I was prying, I just couldn't find it and didn't want to come across rude! I understand your reasons for not wanting to share you name intially too. It cetainly makes the situation feel a whole lot more real. 

Thank you for answering my questions and for sharing the timeline of your journey so far too. I am so very very grateful for the time you've given to me, which has eased my anxiety a great deal. After a long spell of crying every day, I am now able to hold myself together, which has been largely down to this forum and receiving wonderful replies from people like yourself. I need to for my Mum's sake and my own. 

You certainly have had a full on few weeks, but the doctors are moving very quick on this, which although must feel very scary and surreal right now, I'm sure you'll be grateful for in the future. You're only a couple of years younger than myself Hettie, which makes this situation feel even more real/surreal. Please know, you can always reach out should you need a chat.  

Thank you for the tip about the ice cream! 

Best of luck with everything, Hettie. I wish you all my love. Your words will be holding me up just that little bit higher this Thursday when I attend my Mum's appointment with her. 

With love and gratitude, B xxxx

Hi B [@Biblio578]‍ 

Am just sending a quick message to let you know I am thinking of you and your mum today, she will be so grateful for your support and the two of you will be strong together, I know it. 
 

Sending you all my love

Hettie x

[@MissThomas1988]‍ 

You're beautiful. Thank you 

Hi [@Biblio578]‍ 

I have realised it is now me who is unaware of your name! Of course, no pressure if you do not wish to share, I can stick with B. 
 

I am sorry to learn of your mums diagnosis, but I am sure she is so grateful for your support. There is so much to take in at these appointments, so having you there to help digest the information will mean the world to her. What is the next step on her journey?

My own journey continues and it has taken a twist that I had hoped to avoid. I met with the surgeon yesterday, they have confirmed I need a full mastectomy of my right breast and following that, will start a course of chemotherapy. The news is still sinking in right now and I'm not sure what I am really thinking or feeling other than total devastation. 
 

I will most likely do the same as you, take a few days to reflect and then I will come back here. I have found it a great comfort to have this forum to connect with others and I'm sure I will be back again before long. 
 

Love to you and your mum

Hettie x