Hi kiwi runner!

thanks for getting in touch. It means a lot. I find that I want to talk about things but don't want to upset my husband and friends. It's horrible sitting with the worry so I'm trying to keep busy. 
 

thats great news that it's removed already. Was it a lumpectomy yes? Do u mind me asking what the process was like? I've googled too much and am now thinking of the lines of...if they suggest a lumpectomy am I better off asking them to whip off the breastacles all together so less chance of recurrence? ‍♀️
I have very sensitive nipples (too much info I know) so a nippless life sounds like a positive thing but of course I don't want to write off my boobs if it's not that serious!  

results tomorrow and hopefully they will send me for an MRI as I've smoked for years and am worried the 2.5 cm lump in my right breast has been growing for ages and has come from something already in the lungs. Joy! Then it'll b a case of waiting for those results which is really frightening me. 
 

any who! I hope ur feeling good and positive and ready for the next step in ur journey. 
 

jen x

Hi [@JenLam]‍  thanks for getting in touch.  Oh I do hope results day today goes ok  for you. And your MRI. MRIs  can throw up lots of false positives as they are so sensitive. Freaked me out when they found a new area of concern on mine but it turned out to be benign.

Yep I had my surgery on Tuesday. It was a Wire Guided Wide Excision Biopsy. Wire guided because my 15mm mass is non-palpable. Had to go in morning of surgery to have a wire inserted in my boob so surgeon knew where to go. End of that sticking out (taped down) was a tad surreal!! 

I was in surgery for about an hour. Hilarious banter with my anaethatist  as I'm a Kiwi and he was South African and neither of us like being mistaken for Australian, lots of chat about rugby etc as I'm lying on the operating table waiting for the general anaesthetic to be given. Staff were all fab

If it is confirmed as cancer at my results appt on Friday then it is likely I'll be back for more surgery.

The scar where my surgeon went in is pretty tidy. She went in under the areola around my nipple so the scar will blend back with the natural line of that. And there is now a small indentation where she has removed the dodgy bit that was a B4 on mammogram, a U5 on ultrasound, a B4 on first biopsy, no sign of cancer on second biopsy (to their confusion) and where I have had significant puckering/tethering which concerned them.

My surgeon said I might feel a bit low this week and she was spot on. I've been coping really well bit hit the wall in last couple of days. I worked out that since my recall letter on 24 Dec I have had 10 mammograms, 4 ultrasounds, 1 MRI, 4 biopsies, 2 results meetings where they couldn't give conclusive results and now the surgery. All the while being told right back on 5 January at original assessment clinic that they were sure it was cancer and to prepare for that.

It has taken more of a toll than I realised and I decided I would take the full two weeks off work they recommended so I can just be kind to myself and not have the pressure of a demanding job and team to manage while I wait for my results. 

Now back to you and your breasticles (loving that name) it is a super personal decision and you don't have all the info you need yet to make an informed choice I guess, which ever option you go with. I'm personally rather fond of 'the girls' my end so don't  really want to lop one off if or comes to that but would do what ever is best. My dodgy area is left lower inner quadrant which is much less common (about 6% of cases) and my next worry is if I need radiation therapy as that area is right over my heart. I dont like the sound of that...

Anyway,back to you Jen - fingers crossed for your results meeting today. Will be thinking of you. Let me know how you get on. xxx

[@KimMarie]‍ you have been in my thoughts lately. I notice you haven't been on here since your meeting to see if you more challenges to deal with. I really hope you are doing ok and am here if you want to chat xx

Hi Kiwirunner

You've done so well!!! How r u feeling now? Mentally and physically? sounds like you had a good team around you for surgery! It's so uplifting to think of it as a positive experience. Speaking of uplifting they've suggested a lumpectomy and uplift which means taking the lump out (obvs) and lifting up the breastacle so I'd have one slightly higher and smaller than the other. Nice! But then if I didn't have huge bazuccas in the first place they wouldn't even b able to offer that and they'd have to whip the whole thing off so I'm lucky to have the option. They said that a single or double mastectomy would not guarantee it won't come back and in her experience it it's better to do a lumpectomy then radiation for a better outcome ‍♀️
I find out this Friday if I have HER2, if so I'll need chemo. They were very supportive and informative and it was a huge relief to get some news! As I'm a smoker (*hangs head in shame*) I'd have to stop smoking 6 weeks before the op if I want a double mastectomy. This is no problem as I'm giving up tomorrow or at least starting the process. Just kicking myself cos I stopped for6 years then started again when life got stressful. What a fool! 
thank you for ur messsage it means a lot that u we're thinking of me this morning! 
what's next on the agenda for u? Stay strong and take care of urself. X

Hi [@JenLam]‍ oh your posts make me smile - you've got a great attitude to it all and the best names for breasts :laugh:

A perkier uplift with lumpectomy sounds good to me and you seem happy with the approach which is great. I don't think any of us need to beat ourselves up about stuff like you smoking again when stressed. I need to step away from the biscuit barrel - comfort eating has been a thing for me over last few weeks which is annoying as I lost a stone two years ago and had been keeping it off. So right now I'm not running and eating more treats and my jeans are getting tighter but hey - big picture it doesn't really matter right now. Although gold star for looking at giving up smoking again. You go girl.

Well let's do a results swapsies on Friday when you get your HER2 result and I get my surgery pathology report. I have fingers crossed for you.

Keep your chin up and do what makes you feel good (apart from smoking haha). I'm swapping biscuits for fruit and getting outside for fresh air. I'm managing a walk each day and it is soooo good getting out for a bit even if I can't run for a while yet.

Take care xxx

Hiya! ️

Lovely to hear from you again! It sounds like your surgery went brilliantly Does the pathology report include details about exactly what type of cancer it is??? Or am I totally off track here?! It's possible! ‍♀️
Don't worry about a slight weight gain you can always walk it off as you start to recover. Then by the end of treatment/healing process you're fit, strong and can get into the jeans again! Result!

speaking of which...yes swappsies Friday sounds good  

lumpectomy may b off the cards depending on fri results. Heard lots of conflicting info so a bit confused now!! 
 

Not stopped the smoking yet. Getting my head around it and hope to stop Fri. Bit worried about the thought of chemo as I'm not one of those people who's gonna look good bald. Think Gollum meets an alien. Ok maybe it wouldn't be that bad!!!!! I can always throw on a headscarf....and some slap would probably help the face situation. Hmm still gotta b realistic you can't polish a turd. 
 

good luck for Friday and look after yourself x

Hi again

The waiting is so hard. Once you have more info at least it's something to work with! They're being thorough I'll give them that!!! 
They haven't given me a time for results but I have work to keep me busy! Seems like this process is going to b a step at a time. Let's try not to get ahead of ourselves as it gets really overwhelming! 
Chat tomorrow. Thinking of you x

Hey Kiwirunner  

How did you get on with your results? 
Im HER2 Negative which means I won't need chemo. So brilliant news! Having to tell family members tomorrow and really not looking forward to it. 
 

I hope your results were good and your looking after self. Chat soon. Hugs xx

Hey [@JenLam]‍ oh wow that is great news to hear that you don't need chemo and you are HER2 negative. I bet that feels like good news!

I finally got to the bottom of my situation yesterday and it is such a relief to finally have a diagnosis after all the tests, and back and forth to the hospital.

Confirmed that I do in fact have breast cancer but the great news is that it was all removed during last week's operation so I don't need any further surgery. Yay!

I have a pretty rare type of breast cancer called Tubular Carcinoma (about 2% of cases). It was Grade 1 and tiny - only 3mm and had a Grade 2 DCIS growing next to it (5mm) so total tumour size only 8mm.

Apparently Tubular Carcinoma is a 'good one' to have as it is low growing, rarely spreads (so they don't even need to check my nodes) and has a really good prognosis.

Only got my results yesterday but already have an appt on Monday with the oncologist which is pretty amazing. They want to discuss radiotherapy which won't start until I am fully healed from the op last week - a few weeks time apparenlty. Location of my tumour is right over my heart so I have lots of questions for the oncologist about how that is managed safely. They would normally put me on Tamoxifen as my tumour was strongly ER positive but it raises the risk of DVTs and because I have had a DVT before it is probably too risky to be on that - something else to discuss on Monday. I had to do injections in my stomach for five days after my surgery last week and wear the sexy socks for a whole week due to my DVT risk (got it after a long haul flight from NZ a few years ago).

They also took some blood yesterday to see where I am on the menopause range. I have just turned 52 but no idea if I am through menopause or not as I had a hysterectomy when I was 39. Tamoxifen is for pre-menopause so there might a safer alternative to take if I am post-menopause.

Anyway - I feel oddly euphoric to finally have a diagnosis as I have had two months of expecting it to be a worse outcome.

Hope you are feeling reasonably positive and manage to tell family and friends OK today - it will be a weight off your mind when you do and you can draw on the support of those around you.

Hugs in return xx