Hi Folks, 

I'm a 42 year old guy from Liverpool and for the last 4 or 5 years I've suffered from severe health anxiety to the point of it takes over my life. 

Previously I've convinced myself I've had a brain tumour, lung cancer, lymphoma and now my latest one is bowel cancer. 

For around 9 days now I've had stomach cramps that have come in waves, not to the point of doubled up in pain, but just to the point of feeling uncomfortable. Without being too crude, I feel like I need to go the loo to open my bowels but after going I still feel relatively full. 

I haven't lost weight, my stools are not raising any flags and other than the stomach cramps there is absolutely no indicators that would suggest stomach cancer. 

But there lies the problem, so bad is my anxiety that I'm constantly searching the internet for symptoms, seeking reassurance and basically convincing myself I've got it. 

Such is the level of anxiety, I've phoned NHS 111 twice since Friday, tried every trick in the book to get a doctors appointment, even got a telephone consultation from a doctor who advised buscopan (which actually worked until they run out) and as a last resort considered presenting myself to A&E. 

Its got to the point now where I feel guilt by wasting the resources of the NHS, and the logical side of me knows full well its nothing serious, but the anxiety is such a powerful thing all rational thoughts go out the window. 

In a way its a vicious circle, I've had a really traumatic 14 months, I lost my mum suddenly to a stroke (she was only 69), I had to apply for and buy the house I lived in (it was a council house), I had to learn to run a house, grieve for my mum, pay bills, get a mortage. Then, over Christmas my good friend disappeared and ultimately took his own life so its literally been one thing after another with Covid as well. Naturally stress makes your stomach bad and thinking about your stomach gives you stress so you can see how this is going. 

Pre-lockdown I did try cognitive therapy but it didn't do anything, it was part of a group and I stupidly put my guard up and acted all manly and tough. 

A doctor once had a long chat with me in December 2018, he was a locum, a young fella similar age to me. We sat and went through all my medical records, he said I'm a fit and healthy man but asked why I thought I would be diagnosed with cancer and I genuinely couldn't answer, I just have this fear. 

Anyone who has health anxiety has my utmost sympathy, your friends and family almost humour you about it, but once it gets into your mind it can be the worst thing in the world. 

My apologies to those on here who have actually got cancer, or are in remission, I am sure you don't want to hear my waffle. 

Thanks, 

Andy