Hello,

         not a similar experience but exactly the opposite.l find l am too busy living life to the full after being given a second chance.l am fortunate for two things that help me in this,firstly l am blessed with the ability to never look back,since l can no longer influence past events,and secondly l feel indebted to those  with whom l went through treatment with who did not make it, to give it the very best shot.

You are amazing,you have beaten this beast in battle and have triumphed, you and your body know how to win, but did you do  all of this just too seek defeat around every corner?

We are all different and react in different ways and yet what you are feeling will have been felt and shared by everyone with a positive diagnosis, l just hope in the future you can find within yourself the path that will lead to positivity , lit up by sunshine

Thank you for your response.

You are so right!

Maybe I can try and turn some of the negativity into positives.

I get so scared sometimes.

I was doing so well after the first time, got to three years clear and was just thinking maybe I've beaten this then bang back it came, devastated I had to start again right from the start again.

Thank you

I know its not for everyone but have you ever tried meditation?  I never thought I would be able to sit still and concentrate long enough but it has really helped me.  There are apps such as Insight Timer, Calm, I think one called Mindspace.  Or listen on youtube.  Gabrielle Bernstein is good and I also like Deepak Chopra. 

Like I said, not for everyone but try to find something that helps with anxiety and worry - keeping busy.  I also like the gym (ha ha!), beasting myself is the only relaxing part of the day.

I also listen to audibles or podcasts.  Anything is worth a try.

Good luck.  I know what you mean, positive thinking can be a challenge when going through a tough time.  Always something to be grateful for.  Every day I wake up is a blessing xxxx

Hi again

I go to my local mind body spirit group, they do a cancer rehab group.

A mixture of yoga, pilates meditation.

I have made some lovely friends there, it's nice to chat to people who know exactly how you feel and we are there for each other.

I was thinking of joining a class that they do that is just meditation.

I also did an anxiety management course for cancer patients where we did a little and it is calming.

it all sounds good.  How are you doing today, hope you are feeling ok.

Lovely to have people around you who know what you are going through and friendly faces.

Here here. What a wonderful reply.

you have made me feel better too.

I start chemo on 22nd Feb for Endometrial cancer after a surgery. I feel scared sometimes and out of control but I feel happy reading your post here.

You are so right.  Ruby xx