So confused and scared.

Nobody seems to be understanding at the moment. I suffer with severe anxiety,and all I have done for a week is google and google. I am 29 and never had a smear. I was sexually abused once when I was 15,he only managed to do it for about a minitue and I have never had sex since,I however have never been checked. In 2014 I went to the doctors with severe itching had a swab and tested positive for BV and Thrush. However I went back to the doctors Monday as I have been having on off spotting between periods (mostly when im ovulating) since March 2017 (I know I completely buried my head in the sand) and I had (that day) severe backpain and bloating and I had convinced myself I had ovarian cancer. She said she didn't suspected ovarian cancer but we needed to do a smear and a swab. They couldn't do the smear it absolutely killed and they said I was far too tense (First time anything had gone anywhere near there in a very long time) and referred me to the hospital to have it done. She said she wasn't referring me because she thinks I have it shes referring me to rule it out (but I think she just being kind as I was sobbing everywhere) she didn't do a swab and I am awaiting a letter. My period however ALWAYS absolutely stinks as does my discharge which isn't all day everyday but when it is its rather watery. I also have on/off itching and shooting pains up there. It hurts when I sit sometimes too. I am absolutely terrified shaking,can't eat,can't sleep. Convinced myself that its the worst possible stage too,convinced myself its either cervical cancer,or vulva cancer. I'm sorry ive waffled its just completely consumed me. 

  • Hi Sammeh182

    Welcome to the forum and I'm so sorry to hread about everything that has led to you being here. 

    Have you told your GP about what happened to you? I know that it might be very difficult for you to speak to someone but if you've not been able to then I'd urge you to find a way to communicate this. You've been able to let us know here. Maybe you could write her a letter. If she knows what has happened then they can make sure the hospital are aware and offer you additional support. 
    You mention that you struggle with anxiety. Is this something that your GP is already helping you with? If not then again I'd say please do talk to them about this. 

    Please stay away from Google. Unfortunately Google won't give you any answers but it will make you feel more anxious and worried about things. Some of the symptoms you've described are typical of BV and thrush and as your GP was unable to complete the additional tests she wanted to then it would make sense for her to refer you to a more specialised department. I'm sure that her reassurance to you was genuine. 

    If you think it might help to chat with one of our nurses about your concerns then you could give them a call on 0808 800 4040. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

    I hope that you're able to get some help and support and that things improve for you soon. Let us know how you get on. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

  • I've had spotting - wasnt cancer, it was just cervical erosion. They zap it with a laser and I've not had a problem in, probably, 20 years since - so long ago I forget exactly how old I was. Worst part was the die they painted on me and didnt clean off very well, had to throw out my pants. so please dont panic yet, it wont help when they try to examine you. Try, I know it's hard, to focus on something relaxing - a beach scene maybe, anywhere that makes you feel good.

    I would really suggest you speak either to your gp or a support group like www.thesurvivorstrust.org/ or post on a forum like mumsnet where you will find other women to support you in dealing with your feelings about the abuse.

  • Thank you,waiting for results now

  • I'm glad you managed the examination. Waiting for the results is the worst part. At 29 it's unlikely to be cancer and they'll be able to tell you soon what the problem is and hopefully deal with it easily.