hello,
im sorry if this is the wrong place to write this but i have such bad health anxiety. i fear i am dying of cancer all the time. every ache of pain i believe is cancer and im gunna get told i dont have long left. i sit at home all day with my daughter practically ignoring her but im so consumed in my own thoughts about whats gunna happen.
i have such terrible thoughts, i imagine the doctor telling me i have cancer and how i wouldnt be able to cope so would just go and take an overdose so i dont have to go through the worry. i know this sounds awful but this is what constantly goes through my head. what bit of life i have left is being ruined by these thoughts. no1 will listen to me, they just tell me dont worry until yohr told u have something wrong with you. easier said than done.
i even ask my boyfriend if he would come with my if i die and he says he always would. he would never be without me but how sick in the head must i be to ask that?. im terrified of going through it all alone. im so selfish i know. i dont know what to do anymore im on the edge of a mental breakdown. i think a out taking my life everyday and how i would do it if i did, but im not strong i couldnt do it. im such a weak person. i dont deserve to be a mother i fear i will never see her grow up. i dont want to leave my baby
