Hello Hannah, 

Welcome to the forum and I'm sorry that you didn't get a response before your appointment today. 

It sounds like the timescales have been fairly normal for breast clinics. I hope that you had some positive news at your appointment. 

If you do need to talk to someone or have any questions please do let us know and we'll do our best to help. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Hi,

thank you for your response. 

Unfortunatley I didn’t receive good news today, I have been diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer. Have an appointment for next Friday for a PET scan? I think it is and then will be booked in for surgery and for chemo. 

Still doesn’t all seem real. Feels like it should be a mistake. 

Hannah x

I'm sorry to hear this Hannah. I know it will have been a hard day for you. 

I'm going to tag in [@Jolamine]‍ , [@Chriss]‍ and [@Marlyn]‍ who are some of our fabulous breast cancer ladies here on the forum. I know that they'll be along to offer their support and share experiences as soon as they're able to. 

We also have a team of nurses here that you can call to speak to. They're closed now for the weekend but re-open at 9am on Monday on 0808 800 4040. They're available normal office hours. 

Know that we're here to support you through this Hannah. You're welcome to post to ask questions, to have a rant or just to chat to others who have also dealt with this news. 

Sending best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Hi Hannah,

Welcome to the forum, although I’m sorry for the reason that you’ve had to join us.

I imagine that you must be feeling totally shell shocked with your diagnosis. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer in the past 10 years and can still feel just how low I felt when I read stories from young people like yourself.

Firstly, as Jenn has already told you, it is perfectly normal to get your appointments in the time scales you mentioned. Getting your results can vary somewhat depending on the individual hospital policy. The majority of consultants prefer to give test results face-to-face, but there are a few who either phone the results or write a letter. The policy is usually the same regardless of whether the news is good or bad.

It will take both you and your partner some time to come to terms with all of this, but it does help if you can both talk to one another openly about how you feel. What ages are your daughters and, have you broken the news to them yet?

You will probably find that your emotions are all over the place at the moment and you may also find that you are prone to bursting into tears for no particular reason. Rest assured that this is perfectly normal behaviour and, things will get easier once you start moving ahead with treatment.

Fortunately, cancer treatment is one area in which the NHS excels. I can only heap praise on my care team for the past 10 years. Without their dedication and care I doubt that I would still be here.

Please keep in touch and let us know how your PET scan goes next week. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi, thank you for replying as well. It’s not the ideal situation I’ve had to join but I am already so grateful for the support and responses already. 

Oh wow, two bouts,  just one isn’t even fair but have to go through it twice. I can only imagine how strong you are. 

Once the doctor had told myself and my partner a lot of the other information just didn’t sink in and I feel stupid for not remembering and I know I should have. Luckily we are able to speak to each other very honestly. We’ve been together for 14 years with a little gap in the middle (I had my eldest with someone else after me and my partner broke up but that relationship didn’t last long at all and we’ve been back together since). 

My daughter are 7, 8 in November and our youngest is 8 months old, also 1 in November. There’s 6 days between their birthdays  we have decided not to tell the eldest yet until things go further down the line. We don’t want to worry her now whilst everything for the moment is the best it will be for a while. I don’t know if we’re doing the right thing, like anything in parenting I’m totally winging it. I also just want a bit more time seeing as it’s the school holidays to just be mum, normal mum. To have fun doing our normal things and days out. Not cancer mum. Don’t know if that sounds stupid or not. 

Yesterday has been the longest and most emotional day of my life for sure so far. Just wish every day leading up to it won’t be like this. But yes there has been a lot of bursting into tears for no reason from the both of us. 

Im so happy to hear of your praise of the NHS for this. 

Thank you so much again 

xx

Hello love,

isnt it all just a whirlwind? I felt like I was having an outer body experience! I just there watching the consultants lips move but I kept thinking...me? Cancer? No way! They throw so much information at you it's impossible to keep up! I left the breast cancer nurses room with arm fulls of various books and reading materials in a complete daze......

but what I can tell is....it all settles down....I promise. Of course you will have the melt downs but once a treatment plan is in place things calm down and you crack on with it...

jolamine and chriss were amongst the First Ladies who came to my aid and held my hand, the warmth they showed me had such a positive impact and helped me enormously.....and so here I am reaching out my hand, your not alone love....come here anytime , there will always be a hug for you....xxx

Hi Hannah,

You will find out how lucky you were to find this site early on in your diagnosis soon. It is so helpful to have family and friends who you can talk to openly and honestly about everything, but nothing beats being able to talk to people who have experienced what you are going through for themselves. You can talk about absolutely anything on this site, as nothing phases us.

We all tend to find that a lot of what is said during a consultation doesn't sink in. This is why you will find it helpful to take someone with you to your appointments. It is also useful to draw up a list of any questions you may have before each visit. If you can get your partner's input with this, you may find that he has a few questions that you haven't thought of.

I always bring my hubby, but this is easy for me because he is retired. We go armed with a set of questions each and, while I'm askng the questions, he writes down the replies. My surgeon doesn't bat an eyelid at this, as many people do this. 

It is a well known fact that we only retain a very small amount of information in the pent up atmosphere of a consultation and, we forget even more before we leave the hospital grounds. If you can't remember what was said, don't be afraid to ask the surgeon to explain it all again next time. You will be much happier in yourself if you know exactly what you have and what is going to be done for it.

With regards to telling your daughter, my advice would be to tell her sooner rather than later. Children have big ears and are sensitive to any change in atmosphere in the household. You don't want her finding out by overhearing something that she shouldn't. I fully understand that you just want to be a normal mum doing fun things together during the holidays. There is no reason why you can't still do this. Your daughter doesn't need chapter and verse. She just needs the simplest explanation.You don't even have to mention the word cancer, if you don't want to. If you ask your breast care nurse about how to tell her, I'm sure that she'll be able to give you some good advice. Fortunately, at 7, she may not realise the full significace of your diagnosis.

I had a shaky start with the NHS  first time around, but since then, I have had nothing but praise for my whole care team. Try to avoid going on to the internet to research your cancer. There is no point until you know exactly what treatment you are going to have. Besides many of these sites are out of date, poorly researched and aimed at the spectacular rather than the normal. It is all too easy to scare yourself further if you do this. If you have to look things up, try to stick to the well respected sites like Cancer Research.

I'm glad that Marlyn has replied to you. She has been through the mill and is now coming out the other side, so she will be a great help to you throughout the coming months.

Roll on Friday  and you'll get your PET scan out of the way.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

hi Hannah

I saw your post and thought I would pop on to offer my support. I’m sorry to hear the reason you are here.

I was diagnosed in March with grade 3 BC, I am 43 and have 2 children aged 7 and 10.  It will feel like a bit of a whirlwind at the minute, information overload and for me i had quite a few scans before I got my treatment plan and the addition of a pesky appendix that popped up on one of the scans that had to be dealt with before I started any treatment.  It’s does settle down though and I felt much more in control once I knew what the treatment plan was and when it would start.  I still have wobbles though and that’s where this forum comes it, to remind you that you are stronger and braver than you think and you can get through this.  

I decided to tell the kids once I knew the date my treatment was to start as I had something definite to tell them and I could answer their questions.  I didn’t mention the word cancer and just said that i had a bug and needed some special medicine to kill it, and that I needed time in between the medicine to build up a strong army to help get it each time,  I also told them what it could make me look and feel like such as losing my hair.  They were great, my eldest obviously asked more questions which I answered honestly and every now and again they will ask a few more questions.  

My treatment plan is chemo (just had round 4 of 6), mastectomy then radiotherapy, happy to answer any questions you may have when you know your plan.  

Make use of you breast care nurse as well, mine was invaluable while I was going through the scans as they say it how it is and have loads of experience, mine listened to my irrational rantings and wobbles.  

Keep in touch.

WL

Thank you for your lovely words. I’ve already found its so different being able to talk on here and to family. I understand people at home just sometimes don’t know what to say and here you can be open but in a different way. I’m glad not much phases you guys  

I think that’s a good idea that I’m going to do and write questions down as I think of them. As I just come to a blank when I even try to think of what I’ve alreasy thought about. I think I will ask them on Friday to go back over everything, just don’t want to come across as being really stupid. 

Im just extremely grateful for all reaponses as you have taken time out of your day to reply to me. Someone you don’t know. It’s a lovely feeling. 

Friday does need to hurry up, these feelings are feeling longer and longer 

x