New to Cancer chat 'scared'

Hello

I am new to this forum. I have been reading the posts and found I feel somehow no longer alone.  I have not been diagnosed with cancer. I will be undergoing tests in due course. In the meantime, I am living in fear and finding the fear debilitating. I hope I can be part of the chat in this context as I don't know where to get further support having been to the GP and tried to explain to some close friends who find it hard to understand the level and all encompassing fear I feel. I am frigthened of any diagnosis and the tests which is compounding my fear,  I hope my first post is okay and in the right place.

Thank you for reading and any support would be gratefully received

Polly

  • Morning polly,

    all good this end, off to marks in a bit for a bra fitting, thought I'd treat myself now I'm actually ready to start wearing one! Lol.....how are things your end? Xxx

  • Hi Marlyn

    Hey great to treat yourself. I hope you got one and a nice one.  I like m and s underwear. The m and s in Bury is not bad. not too big and not too small. There is a nice cafe as well. 

    I always feel better when I put my 'best' underwear on. I tend to have a 'best' pile and an 'everyday' pile. No idea why, other than I was brought up to save what was considered 'Sunday' best for Sunday's and other occasions. I have a rail for clothes for work and one for going out....I never go out!!! I suppose its silly really. 

    Things are not too bad thank you. My symptoms have not been as bad today and I managed some sleep last night (hey ho). It has not stopped raining today and Mac doesn't like the rain. he had his hair cut today and looks like a puppy again. The groomer said he has a cyst between his toes so i will make an appointment for him to be checked over make sure he is not in any pain.  I have moved my lap top to the table infront of the living room window so I can look out. it isn't a great view but there are some trees and there is a house on the hill in the distance. I often make stories up about it...yes I am a bit daft. 

    Have a lovely evening

    Chat soon

    polly xx

     

  • Hi Polly

    Just found this chat page. I can see you have found  friends to talk to that's  great . Billy is very good at putting people at ease. I just wondered if he was a Leo. I have this thing about star signs I like to guess what people are , when's your birthday Polly I'm a Libra born 7th October. Marlyn's lovely too everyone is , keep your chin up Polly.xxx

  • Hi molly I'm a gemini actually born on 13th... Oh and it wasn't a Friday,... Billy 

  • Hi Billy I was wrong with the Leo then ,  a bit about me , About 3 months ago I felt very unwell , it was a Friday night too late for the doctor's surgery .Sat morning headache earache , sore throat tonsil enlarged with white circles on but not on the outside looked like puss inside. My husband took me to the walk in centre . Took one look at my tonsil and told me to make an urgent appoinment with the doctor Monday morning and they would send a message to say I needed to go to Ent asap. I was given antibiotics Got that done within 2wks The doctor told me it was a cyst drained it that was that. It came back went to the doctor's again told I had toncillitis more antibiotics 2  months later  sent for a biopsy Wednesday 14th Aug, upper Oesophagoscopy, and Laryaopharyngor whatever this one means I don't know sounds like some sort of dance. Ok Mon coming scan on neck and chest. Been told it's not a cyst , that's were I'm at now . This has been going on for 3 months . I've had loads of anxiety wept till I couldn't anymore and now I'm just fed up with the whole thing and what will be will be. So I came on here and got it all out how I felt , and do you know feel a whole lot better knowing there are some very nice decent people on here who are having to cope with a whole lot more than what I have. I haven't even been diagnosed with anything yet.  So I'm going to stop moaning and groaning and get on with it. 

  • Hi molly what are you doing up this at this time of the morning, i always thought you "ladies" went to bed early, i was going to mention beauty sleep, but though that was to rude beans as we've only just met,, hope you have a good morning,.. Billy 

  • Hi Molly

    I am a Leo!!! What does that tell you about me?My birthday is July 29 (turned 58 this year). Everyone is so lovely. I can honestly say this has kept me going. Glad you have joined in.

    Polly xx

  • Hi molly, it's good to chat isn't it, makes you feel less alone....

    lol...I love star signs too....I'm Virgo...but not a typical one! I don't nag.....much!

     

    polly...how's the sleep going? X

     

    billygoat, hope all ok with you and Brenda? How's Bella doing? Xx

     

     

  • Hi marlyn vet said she's starting to improve she was very surprised but said she wants to check her in three weeks she's hoping I'll have shrunk a lot then another biopsy,, vet very taken with Bella I let her walk about the waiting room loose vet comes out Bella runs to her she picks her up and goes in doesn't bother about me talk about women sticking together,, anyway fingers crossed its working better than thought, so she should have a lot longer life, hope your OK new bra and all hehehe... Billy 

  • Morning Marlyn

    The sleep his hit and miss still. Feel shattered when I put me head down, then sleep doesn't come along.  I strugled with the app thing, so I have bought a CD which is calming music. I am also going to try a CD book so when my eyes are sore I can listen instead of read. xxx

    Hi Billy, hope all is okay. My lack of beauty sleep means I am starting to look like the princess out of Shrek...or even Shrek himself! xxx

    Molly, it must be interesting to read star signs. I bet there is a lot to it. Hope you are having a nice day so far. xx