Hi polly, start on ready meals please you nead to keep the body strong even if you don't feel like something or try those milk shake things can't remember what they're called if you're body is week you get worse not better,, don't worry you've right women always talk a lot, it's just natural like being the boss, if you want to talk there's plenty of room on these strings even for you,, enjoy your walk, best wishes... Billy 

Hi polly i i understand how you feel its the waiting your nerves start to crumble ive just had dr dr ring last week and they have found hi protien leves in my bloods for prostrate and friday they rang to say my blood tests show ime prediabetic a double wammy lol i lost my partner just over a year ago to cancer but it may not be infections all sorts can effect these tests so try not to worry dont dont  it may be cancer think it may be something else theres people ive replyed to that go on google gnd by the time they have finnished they think they have days to go and genraly they are ok but it can cause health anxiaty dr doogles ok but its where you look theres so much disinformation on there . someone with it on here sometime ago didnt even beleive the dr that they where ok that must be terrible .it sucks i know but try and put it out of your head for the time being best wishs and hope your ok and keep coming on talking realy helps we know what your going through and people dont understand till they go through it themselves or dont know how to talk to you so ignore it then we think they dont care but they do and like you say there are many facets in our brains that can work against us that we can loose control over its a minefield realy i bet you will get through this youve had the strenght to come on here .paul

Hi Paul

What a lovely, thoughtful message, thank you. You are and have gone through a lot, losing your partner must have been the worst thing ever.  I know what you mean about Dr Google. I now think it is one of the worst things around. I am trying to keep the bad thoughts away, but unfortunately, I am one of those people who worry about everything. I am finding strength through talking to people here as I am on my own and it can be a very lonely and frigthening when no one is at your side.  I now feel I have people at my side which is amazing.  I have my two little dogs with me. 

I hope things go okay for you. Please keep messaging as and when you can. 

Polly

Hi Billy

Thank you. I am trying my best to get food down me to prevent me wasting away.  Its a good idea to get liquid drinks as they can contain all the nutrients, thanks for that.  I will get some tomorrow.  It is getting to the time of day I find diffiuclt as the long night is ahead. Going to sign off before I start being morbid. 

You are so thoughtful and caring, thank you

Polly

Hi Marlyn

Just a brief message (more to come in the coming days)-yes, the headache is now another issue, although it probably isnt, if you know what I mean. 

The name Ramsbottom is rather silly. It is near to Bury, just off the M66. Don't know if this will mean anything to you? 

Yes, I am glad I have Daisy and Mac. Mac is now 15 and a bit grumpy.  He doesn't like to be cuddled, just a scratch when he is in the mood. Daisy will cuddle up to me and lie on me (she's small but heavy). Yes, the tears were embarrasing but I have always believed people should be able to show their emotions.  

Well, its getting to that time where I start to go a bit down hill. A long night ahead.  Catch you soon Marlyn (what a lovely name).

Polly xxx

Hi Polly, so pleased you have your dogs to give you comfort; it can be very hard being alone, but as you now know there are people on here who will make you feel less isolated. But can I also suggest you talk to you're GP, he/she may be able to help you to cope emotionally. Stay brave, brave lady.

Hi Polly 

Everyone here is super friendly so feel free to vent rant ect i have done a few times due to anxiery! 

As for the camera test down the throat to the stomach i was going to recomend the sedation and to take someone with you for tge company and to get you home safe :) 

I had this test back in october and was sooooo anxious about it as i nearly choked to death on a twenty pemce when i was four and they had to knock me out to get it out as it was stuck in my windpipe! If it helps i barely remember anything of it, only a slight bit of retching but thats it and it was done. 

Keep posting here and let us know how you go xx 

Sam :) 

Hi polly if you wake early I'm nearly always up about 4.00 if you want to talk your welcome even a long long talk, I'm not on my own but I know how you feel, I've got noncurable cancer, and I'm looking after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care so unless I'm going shopping or to see specialist I'm never out the house I'm lucky a neighbour comes round when I'm going out, but you must look after yourself as much as you can, expect to hear from you soon or maybe in morning,, best wishes,.... Billy 

Hi polly i understand being alone and having know one there to calme you down is the pits .ime getting these thoughts to about cancer but i keep telling mys self it probably isnt it funny dont you think years ago we wouldnt have blinked an eye over pains ect but now we are bonbarded by it all the time its like we are brainwashed . But you just hold on in there ime sure you will be fine as i do myself . Just keep off dr quack eh and keep your chin up .paul