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Explaination of what’s happening

Bonnie75
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Hi.

My mother has recently had the news that she has lung cancer. We are yet to find out the severity of it but she’s had pain and breathlessness since January, had a few xrays that said she had pneumonia and recently since she found out she’s had it drained twice. Second time removing lots of fluid. My mother won’t go into detail as she knows I am worried sick and is just telling me the basics so is there anyone who can or who knows what stage she may be at by the amount of fluid that’s been taken off her lung. I just need to be prepared before we go to her appointment next week to say what stage she’s at. I’m a daughter in despair, feels like my world has crumbled and I want to be strong for her and my children.

 

Many thanks

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    Hi Bonnie, i imagine you are very worried about your Mum. Sadly i don't think anyone here would be able to guess what stage your Mum is at because that would be all it was ... a guess. Even the doctors sometimes don't know as is my case, they can't/won't do a biopsy on me so although i have been told that i have lung cancer, i haven't been told anything about it really except a guesstimate on the stage.

    Did your Mum have a biopsy ? If so then that would be where you get the staging from (i think) No amount of preparation will prepare you for your appontment and all i can suggest is, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. That's what i did and even though i got a diagnosis of lung cancer, i actually came out feeling better than i thought i would as during my consultation, i was told that i will probably have surgery and that is something that i never thought they would offer me because of another lung condition i have.

    Could you try to explain to your Mum, that while you are still and always will be "her little girl" that you are also an adult too and  that you know she is trying to protect you (as all Mothers do) but it would be better for you and her if she gave you the full facts so that you be ready to face what lies ahead.

    Do you actually go in with your Mum to the consultation ? I think if you can persuad her to do that then that will go a long way, the Doctors actually encourage their patients to have someone with them and if you are there, they include you in the conversation too, ask you if you have any questions so that at least gives the family member or friend a chance to ask things.

    I don't know if my reply will be of any help to you but i wanted you to know that sometimes people read and don't know what to say because we don't have the answers so we say nothing instead, just knowing peole can relate to your query can be a small comfort too, albeit a very small comfort but every little helps. 

    Do please keep us updated on your Mums progress and any questions or anything then i'm sure someone will come along to help.

    PJ

  • Offline in reply to Puddle-Jumper

    Thank you for the reply PJ

    I knew I couldn’t get definite answers, I’m just clutching at straws and hoping someone will say “it’s fine, all will be ok”.....

     

    She has had a biopsy and is due results next week. I knew nothing about her appointments as that’s what being a stubborn older lady is all about I suppose! 

     

    I am trying to prepare for the worst, so when results come in I’m either gonna feel like I’ve won the lottery or I am just gonna take it on the chin and then most probably return for more advice on where we go next.

     

    many thanks 

    Much appreciated

     

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