Waiting for results sick with worry

Hi everyone. I am on day two of a 15 day wait for breast biopsy results and I am really struggling. My mum died exactly 3 years ago from secondary breast cancer in her 60s. My gran died in 2002 of the same in her 70s. I am 42. I constantly check my breasts for any changes because of this history. Three weeks ago I noticed a crease on my left breast that I hadn't seen before. I went to the GP who sent me to the breast clinic. There was a 2 week wait. I went along and the consultant examined both breasts which I wasn't expecting and found huge lumps in both - lumps that I thought were part of my normal period cycle. Now I feel like an idiot for this as it was normal to me. I was sent for a mammogram and the staff went dead quiet and muttered to themselves when doing it. I started to worry. Then I went for an ultrasound. The radiologist said straight to me as she scanned this will need treatment. She took four biopsies as she said the areas of concern were large. She couldn't find anything in my armpits. I went back to the consultant. She and the nurse were terrifying. Their demeanour had utterly changed from light and inquisitive the first time to utter doom now. She asked what the radiologist said. I told her she had said I would need treatment. She bluntly said...You will. I started to cry. She said the results were suspicious. She gave me a tissue and asked if I wanted to ask her anything. My mind was a total blank. I am kicking myself I could not think of anything to ask her that might help me now. I was then told to book into the results clinic. The nurse took me to the desk and told me I must not come alone to get the results. I assume this means the news will be very bad. The appointment is 2 weeks away. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I am constantly shivering. I keep having panic attacks. I cannot stop crying. My anxiety level is through the roof. I have two daughters 8 and 4 and a wonderful husband. I have done everything to avoid this for their sake. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I eat ok. I walk everyday. And yet still here am waiting for cancer results without much hope for good news. Thanks for listening.

  • I am so sorry that you are struggling at the moment,  I am struggling too and I haven't even seen the specialist yet or had tests and still terrified! My anxiety is through the roof too so you are definitely not alone in feeling this way.  I feel like I'm going mad with worry at the min, and thinking alsorts in my head! 

    I'm 43 and this is my 3rd cancer scare! Back in 2010 I had a breast cancer scare in that my nipple was leaking  brown discharge, had a mammogram and luckily was ok, but did say that i might need milk glands looking at which never got followed up! In January I had another scare in that what i thought I had a dodgy tummy, GP took bloods and said my CA125 was raised.....this again terrified me and had to have an urgent ultrasound on abdomen and pelvis,  which was ok! Now because of my bloods in January, they rechecked them and have now referred me for another nerve wracking 2 week wait for bowel cancer! Because I have anemia, which I always have.....I dont know, but feeling anxious and jittery is gonna be norm for me now I think! Not to mention that I also suffer with health anxiety too! 

    My appointment was on the 2nd July, but i actually rang the hospital and cried down the phone so they brought it forward to Friday now.....But blumming heck, the anxiety is crippling! 

    Sending hugs.....its horrible the waiting, the anxieties,  the what ifs xxxx

  • Thanks for replying. I am glad for you your appointment got moved so you might get some answers sooner.

    I am trying to do all the right things. Stay calm. Keep busy. Etc. Etc. But the bad thoughts keep winning. I know there are lots of other people going through this. My mum's experiences are still very raw with me and the grief and anger and upset about what is happening to me have overwhelmed me today hence reaching out on here.

    All best wishes for Friday. Hugs xxx

  • I know hun i can imagine how you are feeling.... Its not the same, but i am also grieving as my brother inlaw passed away in February he was only 46 and 5 weeks later my dad.... Not the same circumstances as you, but just crap after crap at the minute x

    Keep me informed hun x

  • Hi

    Im sorry to hear that you appointment wasn’t a pleasant experience and they didn’t handle your situation very sensitively.  I just thought I would pop on and send you a hug.  Unfortunately the waiting is the worst part of the whole process, I drove myself insane with worry when I was waiting for results, and in hindsight the worrying didn’t do me any good, or change the outcome.  I am 43, 2 young children, healthy, my mum had breast cancer when she was 45 so I checked my breast regularly, I couldn’t believe it when they said I had cancer and it was a large one!! My mum is still here 17 years on and I intend to be as well.

    Have they assigned you a breast care nurse? If they have then maybe give her a call and share how you are feeling and share your experience with her.  I did this as I had an unpleasant experience at one of my appointments and felt they needed the feedback. I think sometimes they are so matter of fact that they forget there is a person on the receiving end of what they are saying.

    I think it’s good to take someone with you to the appointment whether it’s good or bad news as they can ask the questions and remember what’s being said.  I sincerely hope it’s good news for you, but if it isn’t there’s a lot of us on here who will be with you every step of the way, you are stronger than you know.

    keep in touch

     

    WL

  • Hi. Thanks for your reply. No they haven't assigned me a nurse. All I was given was a leaflet for biopsy aftercare and a slip of paper with my next appointment written on. Maybe they might send something in the post. If I get one I will feedback to them on what I have experienced so far. Thanks for being there. I was very low today and just needed to reach out X

  • Sorry for your loss. Life can be so hard at times.

    And thanks for being there to listen today.

    Let me know how you get on x

  • @LaurelLeaf I'm so sorry for how you are feeling just now. I remember it well, having finished radiotherapy just over a year ago. This waiting period is horrific, and air was just like you. The anxiety was so bad that I went to my GP for help, and was prescribed beta blockers for a few weeks, which helped a it with the worst of the anxiety.  I think you have had even more worry and stress because of the way the medical staff have handled your situation.  You may not be given a cancer diagnosis, but even if you are,  it will be easier when you know what you are dealing with and what the plan is.Thinking of you at this awful time. I know it sounds glib, and I found the waiting complete hell, but everything passes and this will too. Xx

  • Thanks for taking the time to reply. It has helped me to hear from others who have had similar experiences. Best wishes to you x

  • Hi laurel  hope your doing ok hows things now   i have just being  diognoised wuth brest cancer  dont know  what stage was refered to brest clinin had 8 biopseys done and was told there and then it was brest cancer the lady was very cold    the brest nurse took me away in a room she was a lot nicer   and tryed to calm me down  i also have lost lost of weight  so just thought it was shape of my bust    i then got sent to the hosoital to see consultant  and expected  results only for him to say he wanted to repeat  biopsey is this normal really scared so all and all  waited nearly a month  got MR tommorow to look at brests  dont think i can cope not sleeping  and  really worried   how you going on  plwase let me know take care