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Extreme anxiety of cancer

carlbars365
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Sorry if this is insensitive to everyone here who actually has cancer, but it has been killing me lately and I really want some advice.  I'm making this post because this issue is literally keeping my up at night, hopefully posting here will let off some steam.  Sorry if I don't respond right away.

A few days ago I felt a bony lump on the top of my head, slightly to the left.  Honestly, I kind of remember it being there for quite a long time but I can't know for sure.  For some reason, my mind instantly went to it being a tumor.  I then went to Google to do some research as I always do when I find something I don't know about, big mistake as it turns out.  I found some websites which had the symptoms listed out and I was horrified to realize that I matched some of the descriptions.

According to Google, the hard, immovable lump on my head could be skin cancer.  It just all went downhill from there, I started looking up symptoms of other kinds of cancer.  I had always thought that my left rib stuck out more than my right because of bad posture, now i'm convinced that it is because my spleen is enlarged from lymphoma.  I used to think that the red dots on my upper arms were just from puberty and eating junk food, now i'm convinced that I have leukemia.  It just goes on and on and on.  

I had a panic attack and finally decided to tell my parents about it.  Both my mom and dad are telling me that it is nothing, but my mom said she can take my to a GP to get it checked out if it will help calm me down.  I'm getting tested this Tuesday, but honestly I don't think I can wait that long.  

Right now, i'm still going crazy looking up cancer symptoms, so far i'm convinced that I have like 5 different cancers.  But I also know that if I really did had 5 cancers, i'd probably be long dead, and the odds of an 18 year old guy getting cancer are pretty slim.  But my dad's nasal and sinus cancer wasn't discovered until it was stage 3, and he doesn't even smoke or drink (much).  I've also been told that i'm at a higher risk of developing cancer since my dad had it.

I just don't know what to do, and could really use some more advice to help my last until my screening.  Maybe I just needed to get this out somehow, just typing this had made my feel a little bit better, my heart has stopped pounding.  I always believed that I had anxiety issues, but this pretty much confirms it for me.  Hopefully it is just anxiety and i'm freaking out over nothing, but I can't know for sure until my screening I guess.

Thank you in advance, and please excuse my English, it's not my first language.

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    Hi carlbars

    gosh you have yourself into a bit of a state, worrying yourself sick over this. I also have what you’ve described on the right side of my head, been there for as long as I can remember. A hard unmovable lump - it’s a benign cyst. They are very common. Have you ever watched ‘Dr Pimple’?

    Thankfully you appear to have parents that are supportive and doing the right thing by getting you to see your GP. 

    Googling is the worst thing you could do as it can take any symptom and link it to cancer - stay away from it - it’s making your anxiety worse. While you are seeing your GP perhaps you could mention your anxiety and ask to be referred to counselling/medication - sounds like your dad’s cancer has impacted you more than maybe you realise. Or perhaps there is something else going on in your life that’s making you anxious.

    Also a good idea to stay away from cancer sites such as this as it won’t be helping you either.

    take care x

  • Offline in reply to Magpiemaggie

    Thanks for the reply maggie

    After reading your reply, I think the best thing for me to do now would be to just stay off the Internet all together, until my screening is over at least.  And i'll definitely tell my doctor about the anxiety.

    Hopefully, I won't have to post here ever again, no offense.

    Thanks everyone.

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    I couldn't help my damn self so here I am again.

    I'm still freaking out.  I couldn't sleep at all last night, I just felt so hot even thought the AC was on.  I woke up with a fever, it comes and goes, a mild headache, and most worryingly at the moment, a weird aching in the base of skull.  I went on another ill-advised trip down the Google rabbithole and have now convinced myself that I have meningitis, which kills you even fast than cancer as it turns out. 

    I really need someone to tell me that I am overreacting or something. 

  • Offline in reply to carlbars365

    Carlbars

    You know you’re overreacting, you don’t need me to tell you that. If you had meningitis you would not be able to type anything as you’d be too ill to do anything.

    This is anxiety, which in itself is an illness so essential that you raise it with the doctor on Tuesday so that you can get help - you’re too young to be worrying so much. You should be out having fun with your friends and enjoying life. Most young people your age think they’re immortal so it’s not normal to think you have critical health conditions.

    you are not getting any relief by being on the internet - you’re just feeding your obsession. Step away from your phone/computer and go out for a walk/take part in some sport/meet with friends; there a hundreds of things that will make you better - the internet is not one of them!

  • Offline in reply to carlbars365

    I am so sorry to hear you are going through this but you are overeacting.

    Everybody gets lumps and bumps on the head from spots to follicle blockage which are all harmless and we get them and hardly notice them but because you are obsessing your mind is working overtime and so you  are looking to find something wrong Pain at the base of the skull could be tension headache. We all get aches and pains but they are all harmless and you can get aches and pains because you are so tense. Just relax.

    I would however see your Dr and tell them your fears and maybe they can get you counselling so you can talk to someone about your fears.

    I hope you feel reassured.

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