Thank goodness you had good news. I'm absolutely terrified. I can hardly cope, I don't know how I can make it to Thursday without a complete break down. I'm in the same situation you were in when you were waiting. I'm 47 mammogram and ultrasound looked suspicious so I had a punch biopsy (4 samples) I was basically told to expect bad news and sent away to wait.

i feel like my health has declined since then. I can barely eat it sleep, I've lost weight, short of breath etc. I was perfectly well when I went for my appointment on Thursday. The wait is torture. I have teenagers and I'm trying to act normal in front of them. My husband is being great but there's nothing he can say or do to help.

 Your message has given me a tiny bit of hope x

Hi Moll72

im so sorry to hear you're going through this horrible time. It's the most scared I had ever been, it was on my mind all the time and like you my anxiety made me a complete wreck. I would wake up in the night scared for my children, read every symptom again and again on different sites and really had resigned myself to having it. I truly believe you will be okay because as soon as you get your results you will have this awful torture over, the chances are you will be one of the many lucky ones like me but if it is the worst case scenario you will have a wonderful team of experts who can help you fight this horrible disease. My auntie has just been diagnosed and she said the waiting was the worst part now she knows she can look at how to fight it, she feels much more positive.

Nothing will take the worry away but not long to wait now, try and keep busy and I found it helpful to have someone to talk to about my fears, have you got someone who can help to reassure you?

wishing you all the luck for Thursday.

sarah

This waiting is absolute torture isn't it I'm really struggling again this morning. It's the waking up (IF I get to sleep) and remembering all over again. 
 

I felt really quite well before last week but now I feel terrible and I'm putting every symptom down to possible cancer. 
 

4 whole more days to get through feels like such a long time and I can't help but think that once Thursday comes I will get bad news and feel even worse. 
 

is it fairly reassuring that my lymph nodes 'seem to be clear' and they didn't biopsy the arm pit at all?

If that were the case it would have been really nice of the nurse I saw to make a point of saying that to me just to give me something to hold on to. No one said anything reassuring at all. I just feel so low. Xx
 

Hi

I know its difficult to keep things in perspective, by the time I went for my results I had convinced myself that the lump under my arm and a tiny lump in my groin definetly meant that I had cancer everywhere and there was no hope... it sounds a bit daft now, but I just wanted to let you know that the fear you are feeling must be normal and that if you felt fine before the news, the symptons you are feeling are probably all being linked together by the stress, to add up to a terrible amount of worry!

Is there anything you can plan over the next few days to keep busy, even if its something simple like reading a book to stop your mind racing !

I know you said they didn't say anything reassuring... but did they really tell you it would be bad news, or was it a case of talking through the possibilities?

I think its good to be prepared for all outcomes if possible, but everyone is different and no 2 cases exactly the same.

Try not to think the worst, whatever the outcome, there will be a solution...

Take care x

Emma

Thank you Emma.

well, I knew something very irregular had shown up because of the time the ultrasound was taking and then the subsequent punch biopsies. When I asked something like 'is it likely to be cancer?' (I can't remember exactly what I said now) the lady said 'well they were worried enough to do the biopsies so.... ' then she said 'there are lots of great targeted treatments available these days' I basically feel like I've already been told. I'm really expecting the worst possible news. It's crazy that I went from feeling 'normal' (occasional aches and pains and headaches and stuff but nothing major)  to now feeling really achey, headaches, panic attacks, no appetite, no sleep etc.... I know rationally that those things are all stress related and I can think like that for a bit but then I get an overwhelming feeling that it's all connected to the lump.

i love reading and I bought a new book on Friday so I need to start that. I don't work on Mondays but I will go in on Tuesday and Wednesday. I work in a school so it's quite hectic and should be a distraction. 

i really appreciate your comments. Thank you xx

I'll tell you what was said to me, it may not help but it will give an idea of what was said in my case:

I didn't know I had a lump, I went for my first mamogram and after the lady doing it said, as this is your 1st mamogram they may call you in to the breast clinic, as the pictures may not show things clearly !

Straight away alarm bells went off and I checked that none of my friends were told that.

Sure enough a letter arrived, so went in the room for the appointment and straight away saw my scan on the screen with an obvious mass (1.5cm lump).  They said we need to do an ultrasound to see what this is.

Then after the ultrasound, they said they were sorry to tell me it was a solid lump not a cyst and needed investigation with a biopsy.

After the biospy I said I want to know if this is cancer as I have a lot of history in my family and I'd rather know straight if it looked like bad news.

They said that's what the biopsy is for and they cannot tell until the results are back.

I had a phyllodes benign tumour in the end that can also be borderline or malignant.

I think even if they knew it was a tumour at that stage, they could not tell if it would be good or bad news.

I hope my waffle is some reassurance, I felt very lucky with my outcome but the recovery from the stress took months... try to be positive that you are strong enough, with the help of your hubby, to get through this x

Hi Moll,

Not that much longer to wait now, even though it'll probably feel like a lifetime!  We all seem to think that every ache and pain is due to cancer and, to think the worst at this stage, but this seldom turns out to be the case.

It is very reassuring that your lymph nodes appear to be clear. They never biopsy the underarm, as far as I know. It is only during surgery that they remove some lymph nodes and test them.  You get the results of these at the same time as you get your post-surgery pathology results. This is why the nurse didn't say anything.

It is not until your biopsy results come back that they will know anything for certain. I hope that you are bringing someone with you to your appointment. It canalso be helpful to write down a list of questions to bring with you.

I shall be thinking of you on Thursday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Just back from a very long & muddy walk with my husband and the dog. My head feels a little clearer for now. 
thank you so much for taking the time to message me again. I can only hope that I get the same outcome as you. I know there's a big chance that I will not be as fortunate but at least it gives me a little hope. Funnily enough I was reading up on phyllodes tumors last night and also adenosis (or something like that) which also has a malignant appearance on ultrasound and mammogram. I wish the lady hadn't said, prepare yourself or words to that effect. I know they can't give false hope but I feel like I was given the complete opposite of that. 
I know what you mean, IF my results are good I will be overjoyed obviously but it will take some time to get over the anxiety it's causing me. I'm so drained and I look so different xx

Thank you Jolamine. Yes I'm holding on to the mention of the lymph nodes being clear. I hope she was right about that. Although I worry now that it can spread to my lymph nodes while I'm waiting (I'm a nightmare!!)

yes my husband will be coming with me thank goodness. Thank you for your words xx

I would try to stop reading things till you know what is happening, you are frightening yourself...

My partner would not discuss anything, he just said stop torturing yourself, which seemed harsh at the time but probably the right advice, looking back...

It is so worrying, but try to keep well by eating when you feel up to it.

I hope when you get back to work time will pass quicker and the distraction will help xx

You are right weewitchie I should stop reading things. Ultimately it won't make any difference to the outcome and will either stress me out more or give me false hope in the meantime xx

Hi Moll,

This is the normal time scale for getting your results. Many other people have had the same worry as you, but all have been reassured by their consultants that this is unlikely to happen.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Moll,

This is the normal time scale for getting your results. Many other people have had the same worry as you, but all have been reassured by their consultants that this is unlikely to happen.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you Jolamine. I wish I'd had a fragment of reassurance from mine! Oh well... I'll plod on xx