Thank goodness you had good news. I'm absolutely terrified. I can hardly cope, I don't know how I can make it to Thursday without a complete break down. I'm in the same situation you were in when you were waiting. I'm 47 mammogram and ultrasound looked suspicious so I had a punch biopsy (4 samples) I was basically told to expect bad news and sent away to wait.

i feel like my health has declined since then. I can barely eat it sleep, I've lost weight, short of breath etc. I was perfectly well when I went for my appointment on Thursday. The wait is torture. I have teenagers and I'm trying to act normal in front of them. My husband is being great but there's nothing he can say or do to help.

 Your message has given me a tiny bit of hope x

Hi Moll72

im so sorry to hear you're going through this horrible time. It's the most scared I had ever been, it was on my mind all the time and like you my anxiety made me a complete wreck. I would wake up in the night scared for my children, read every symptom again and again on different sites and really had resigned myself to having it. I truly believe you will be okay because as soon as you get your results you will have this awful torture over, the chances are you will be one of the many lucky ones like me but if it is the worst case scenario you will have a wonderful team of experts who can help you fight this horrible disease. My auntie has just been diagnosed and she said the waiting was the worst part now she knows she can look at how to fight it, she feels much more positive.

Nothing will take the worry away but not long to wait now, try and keep busy and I found it helpful to have someone to talk to about my fears, have you got someone who can help to reassure you?

wishing you all the luck for Thursday.

sarah

You make a lot of sense. Thank you. Something I am holding on to is I'm sure the lady I saw at the end of it all said the lymph nodes looked clear. I'm hoping that means that whatever it is is contained

it's so worrying that while I was there having the initial examination, the mammogram, ultrasound, biopsies then the final chat with the lady who first examined me, no one at all gave any hint of hope that it 'could' be something else. I definitely came away thinking I'd already been told.

xx

I think I was told the same by the bloke that did my ultrasound.

He did 4 biopsys of the lump and none of lymph nodes as they looked ok - as far as I know.

I was in a bit of a shocked daze !

I sked him if it was likely to be bad news and he said just wait for the results...

All I knew was it was a solid lump, so panic set in... xxx

I wasn't given a chat as I just about ran out of there !

I just wanted to leave...

Yes same.. 4 biopsies on the lump and none on the lymph nodes 

The lump feels bigger now but my very optimistic (thank goodness) husband says it's bound to feel bigger after having four punch biopsies. I'm quite bruised so I suppose there is some swelling going on 

paranoid me now worries that the biopsy itself may actually cause it to spread but i googled that (naughty I know) and it says that doesn't happen.

my family have all gone out to pre-arranged things (husband offered to stay with but but no point). A friend of mine is about to turn up. A nice, rational nurse friend. Not a cancer nurse but still a good person to be popping round

Thanks again for your comments. I really do appreciate it xx

I hope your friend can give you some reassurance, I took my friend who is also a nurse with me to have the biospys and get my results as my partner is not too well himself.

She was great ! Very level headed and sensible in comparison to me being a total mess !

The biopsy does make everything very sore and brusied, so try not to worry about that...

Good luck with everything xx

Hi Moll,

Most people will tell you that this is the worst time in your cancer journey. I have had 2bouts in the past 10 years. I had a lumpectomy for the first and a double mastectomy for the second. Like you, my surgeon told me from the off that he was sure that I had breast cancer. I had a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy carried out straight away and then had a very nervous week to wait for my results.

When I got them, I discovered that the surgeon was right. I had grade 1 mucinous carcinoma.  Six lymph nodes were removed during surgery. Afterwards, I discovered that all of my lymph nodes were clear. As soon as I got my results, I felt better. I was able to move forward more positively as I had surgery and started treatment. I was surprised to get a second bout within a year. I stopped treatment in July 2017 and feel very fortunate to still be here 10 years on.

I am glad to hear that your husband has been supportive and, understand the worries you have about your son. Most people hold back until they have a definite diagnosis before they tell their children. It is difficult with your son doing his GCSEs this year, but you will have to tell him if you get a positive diagnosis, as he would be even more upset if you didn’t. Besides, children have big ears and can sense when something is amiss.

I hope that all goes well for you on Thursday and that, even if the result is malignant, you have caught it early and can deal with it. It is always a good idea to take someone with you to your appointment.

Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

I shall be thinking of you on Thursday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much Jolamine xx

This waiting is absolute torture isn't it I'm really struggling again this morning. It's the waking up (IF I get to sleep) and remembering all over again. 
 

I felt really quite well before last week but now I feel terrible and I'm putting every symptom down to possible cancer. 
 

4 whole more days to get through feels like such a long time and I can't help but think that once Thursday comes I will get bad news and feel even worse. 
 

is it fairly reassuring that my lymph nodes 'seem to be clear' and they didn't biopsy the arm pit at all?

If that were the case it would have been really nice of the nurse I saw to make a point of saying that to me just to give me something to hold on to. No one said anything reassuring at all. I just feel so low. Xx
 

Hi

I know its difficult to keep things in perspective, by the time I went for my results I had convinced myself that the lump under my arm and a tiny lump in my groin definetly meant that I had cancer everywhere and there was no hope... it sounds a bit daft now, but I just wanted to let you know that the fear you are feeling must be normal and that if you felt fine before the news, the symptons you are feeling are probably all being linked together by the stress, to add up to a terrible amount of worry!

Is there anything you can plan over the next few days to keep busy, even if its something simple like reading a book to stop your mind racing !

I know you said they didn't say anything reassuring... but did they really tell you it would be bad news, or was it a case of talking through the possibilities?

I think its good to be prepared for all outcomes if possible, but everyone is different and no 2 cases exactly the same.

Try not to think the worst, whatever the outcome, there will be a solution...

Take care x

Emma

Thank you Emma.

well, I knew something very irregular had shown up because of the time the ultrasound was taking and then the subsequent punch biopsies. When I asked something like 'is it likely to be cancer?' (I can't remember exactly what I said now) the lady said 'well they were worried enough to do the biopsies so.... ' then she said 'there are lots of great targeted treatments available these days' I basically feel like I've already been told. I'm really expecting the worst possible news. It's crazy that I went from feeling 'normal' (occasional aches and pains and headaches and stuff but nothing major)  to now feeling really achey, headaches, panic attacks, no appetite, no sleep etc.... I know rationally that those things are all stress related and I can think like that for a bit but then I get an overwhelming feeling that it's all connected to the lump.

i love reading and I bought a new book on Friday so I need to start that. I don't work on Mondays but I will go in on Tuesday and Wednesday. I work in a school so it's quite hectic and should be a distraction. 

i really appreciate your comments. Thank you xx

Thank you Emma.

well, I knew something very irregular had shown up because of the time the ultrasound was taking and then the subsequent punch biopsies. When I asked something like 'is it likely to be cancer?' (I can't remember exactly what I said now) the lady said 'well they were worried enough to do the biopsies so.... ' then she said 'there are lots of great targeted treatments available these days' I basically feel like I've already been told. I'm really expecting the worst possible news. It's crazy that I went from feeling 'normal' (occasional aches and pains and headaches and stuff but nothing major)  to now feeling really achey, headaches, panic attacks, no appetite, no sleep etc.... I know rationally that those things are all stress related and I can think like that for a bit but then I get an overwhelming feeling that it's all connected to the lump.

i love reading and I bought a new book on Friday so I need to start that. I don't work on Mondays but I will go in on Tuesday and Wednesday. I work in a school so it's quite hectic and should be a distraction. 

i really appreciate your comments. Thank you xx

I'll tell you what was said to me, it may not help but it will give an idea of what was said in my case:

I didn't know I had a lump, I went for my first mamogram and after the lady doing it said, as this is your 1st mamogram they may call you in to the breast clinic, as the pictures may not show things clearly !

Straight away alarm bells went off and I checked that none of my friends were told that.

Sure enough a letter arrived, so went in the room for the appointment and straight away saw my scan on the screen with an obvious mass (1.5cm lump).  They said we need to do an ultrasound to see what this is.

Then after the ultrasound, they said they were sorry to tell me it was a solid lump not a cyst and needed investigation with a biopsy.

After the biospy I said I want to know if this is cancer as I have a lot of history in my family and I'd rather know straight if it looked like bad news.

They said that's what the biopsy is for and they cannot tell until the results are back.

I had a phyllodes benign tumour in the end that can also be borderline or malignant.

I think even if they knew it was a tumour at that stage, they could not tell if it would be good or bad news.

I hope my waffle is some reassurance, I felt very lucky with my outcome but the recovery from the stress took months... try to be positive that you are strong enough, with the help of your hubby, to get through this x

Just back from a very long & muddy walk with my husband and the dog. My head feels a little clearer for now. 
thank you so much for taking the time to message me again. I can only hope that I get the same outcome as you. I know there's a big chance that I will not be as fortunate but at least it gives me a little hope. Funnily enough I was reading up on phyllodes tumors last night and also adenosis (or something like that) which also has a malignant appearance on ultrasound and mammogram. I wish the lady hadn't said, prepare yourself or words to that effect. I know they can't give false hope but I feel like I was given the complete opposite of that. 
I know what you mean, IF my results are good I will be overjoyed obviously but it will take some time to get over the anxiety it's causing me. I'm so drained and I look so different xx

I would try to stop reading things till you know what is happening, you are frightening yourself...

My partner would not discuss anything, he just said stop torturing yourself, which seemed harsh at the time but probably the right advice, looking back...

It is so worrying, but try to keep well by eating when you feel up to it.

I hope when you get back to work time will pass quicker and the distraction will help xx

You are right weewitchie I should stop reading things. Ultimately it won't make any difference to the outcome and will either stress me out more or give me false hope in the meantime xx

There's probably no right or wrong way to cope with this situation.

Do what you feel helps the most and make sure you keep talking about how you're feeling and what you are worrying about as holding it all in isn't good for anyone !

Hope so much you get a good outcome x

Hi Emma,

I totally agree with all you have said.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you Jolamine

I only have a limited experience of all this, but I will help if I can as this site helped me.

Best wishes

Emma

Hi Moll72

How are you doing today, hope you are ok x

Hi there

i feel like crap to be honest . I called my hospital as I was feeling so wobbly. I've basically been told to expect a diagnosis on Thursday. She said the results on ultrasound and mammogram were both 4 (so cancer suspected). She did say it's very encouraging that the lymph nodes look ok. She explained what the possible treatments would be in what order, depending on the actual biopsy results which are still not back. She said that a lady who works with her carried on working through her entire treatment and was fine. (I wouldn't be able to do that because I work with children though)

the results are not actually in yet but she said in her opinion it will most likely be cancer. It's about 2.5cm. She said the benign conditions that mimic cancer on ultrasound etc are extremely rare. 
 

I don't know what to do with myself. I mentioned it to my daughter at the weekend (that it's a possibility) but I've not said anything to my son or my parents who've had so much on their plate already lately. I'm dreading it so much. Everyone we've ever know who've had cancer have died. They are all going to take it really hard 

i 

Hi Moll,

Sorry to hear that you're not feeling so good today. I was in the same position as you when I was first diagnosed. I had lost both parents, a lot of relatives and close friends to cancer and I consulted Dr Google, which was the worst possible thing I could have done. I convinced myself that I was on my way out too.

There is 10 years between my mother's passing and my first diagnosis. You hear how cancer treatments are improving all the time, but I really found evidence of this. There was just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and after care which my mum experienced and that which I had. Instead of dying with breast cancer, a number of people are now living with it.

It is always difficult to break the news to family and friends. The more positive you can be when telling them, the better they will take it. How did your daughter react? 

Waiting for results is always one of the hardest parts. Still, Thursday is gradually creeping up.

Don't forget to let us know how you get on.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx