You make a lot of sense. Thank you. Something I am holding on to is I'm sure the lady I saw at the end of it all said the lymph nodes looked clear. I'm hoping that means that whatever it is is contained

it's so worrying that while I was there having the initial examination, the mammogram, ultrasound, biopsies then the final chat with the lady who first examined me, no one at all gave any hint of hope that it 'could' be something else. I definitely came away thinking I'd already been told.

xx

I wasn't given a chat as I just about ran out of there !

I just wanted to leave...

Yes same.. 4 biopsies on the lump and none on the lymph nodes 

The lump feels bigger now but my very optimistic (thank goodness) husband says it's bound to feel bigger after having four punch biopsies. I'm quite bruised so I suppose there is some swelling going on 

paranoid me now worries that the biopsy itself may actually cause it to spread but i googled that (naughty I know) and it says that doesn't happen.

my family have all gone out to pre-arranged things (husband offered to stay with but but no point). A friend of mine is about to turn up. A nice, rational nurse friend. Not a cancer nurse but still a good person to be popping round

Thanks again for your comments. I really do appreciate it xx

I hope your friend can give you some reassurance, I took my friend who is also a nurse with me to have the biospys and get my results as my partner is not too well himself.

She was great ! Very level headed and sensible in comparison to me being a total mess !

The biopsy does make everything very sore and brusied, so try not to worry about that...

Good luck with everything xx

Hi Moll,

Most people will tell you that this is the worst time in your cancer journey. I have had 2bouts in the past 10 years. I had a lumpectomy for the first and a double mastectomy for the second. Like you, my surgeon told me from the off that he was sure that I had breast cancer. I had a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy carried out straight away and then had a very nervous week to wait for my results.

When I got them, I discovered that the surgeon was right. I had grade 1 mucinous carcinoma.  Six lymph nodes were removed during surgery. Afterwards, I discovered that all of my lymph nodes were clear. As soon as I got my results, I felt better. I was able to move forward more positively as I had surgery and started treatment. I was surprised to get a second bout within a year. I stopped treatment in July 2017 and feel very fortunate to still be here 10 years on.

I am glad to hear that your husband has been supportive and, understand the worries you have about your son. Most people hold back until they have a definite diagnosis before they tell their children. It is difficult with your son doing his GCSEs this year, but you will have to tell him if you get a positive diagnosis, as he would be even more upset if you didn’t. Besides, children have big ears and can sense when something is amiss.

I hope that all goes well for you on Thursday and that, even if the result is malignant, you have caught it early and can deal with it. It is always a good idea to take someone with you to your appointment.

Please let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

I shall be thinking of you on Thursday.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine

Thank you for the reply to my post. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 13th August. It was an agonising wait but once I was diagnosed surgery was booked in quite quickly. I finished active treatment in December. In some ways now active treatment has finished, this is the most difficult time mentally. Taking everyday as it comes and trying to stay positive and find some sense of 'normality' again. Thankfully my daughter has mostly been blissfully unaware and a great distraction. 

Hi 40yearold,

You have been through a lot since our last post. I am so sorry to hear that your diagnosis was cancer. Do you know what grade and type of breast cancer you have and what surgery and treatment you've been through?

It is unfortunate that you are finding this stage so hard. Most people find it easier after treatment is over and you can start living again. It does take a change of mind from your initial fear. You are fortunate that you have a very special little girl who needs you. She is young enough not to know or be tainted by your diagnosis and, you can rely on her to be her natural self. She will need you for many years to come, so it is up to you to find positivity. You may not be aware of it yet, but I'm sure that you have become a much stronger person in the past months. You will find the strength to live life to the full again.

Have you tried attending the 'Moving Forward' course run by Breast Cancer Now? The Haven and Maggies centres are dotted throughout the country too and, they offer counselling, seated yoga, walking groups, various classes, alternative therapes such as Reikki, Indian head massage, Aromatherapy, Reflexology. They also offer a very welcome tea or coffee any time you visit. There are probably local support groups in your area too.

One of the things that anyone who has had a cancer diagnosis has to learn to live with is the fear of recurrence. Having had 2 bouts within a year, I had problems with this and, found tremendous support when I started attending some of the aforementioned. I have made a number of good friends over the years and, we now run a self-support group, where we all help to support each other. Perhaps something like this might help you to? If you are unsure about how to find these, please ask your breast care nurse or your GP for advice.

Counselling is not for everyone, but some people find it very helpful. If you are interested in this, you may need to wait for quite a few weeks after you apply, as this is always a popular service. Breast Cancer Now runs a number of different courses throughout the country.

I do hope that some of these might help you to regain some sense of 'normality' again and start to find some positivity in all of this. It is so much easier to cope with when you do.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

This waiting is absolute torture isn't it I'm really struggling again this morning. It's the waking up (IF I get to sleep) and remembering all over again. 
 

I felt really quite well before last week but now I feel terrible and I'm putting every symptom down to possible cancer. 
 

4 whole more days to get through feels like such a long time and I can't help but think that once Thursday comes I will get bad news and feel even worse. 
 

is it fairly reassuring that my lymph nodes 'seem to be clear' and they didn't biopsy the arm pit at all?

If that were the case it would have been really nice of the nurse I saw to make a point of saying that to me just to give me something to hold on to. No one said anything reassuring at all. I just feel so low. Xx