Hi Jadeh1982

Your posts are taking me right back to my horrific days. I was in exactly the same place as you and nothing anyone said made me feel any better at all. This is all completely normal reactions to a massive shock. You will sleep eventually and you will eat but it all takes time just breathe. It sounds like you are a busy mum so spend loads of relaxing time with your babies and try that mindless TV or boxsets ( I watched mistresses, love american soaps) spent many a night binge watching when sleep was not going to happen.

Have you told any friends or family sure they would be there to support you and just be with you to talk and try to take your mind off of it even if just for a millisecond. Remember at this time it is ok to not be ok .... 

Glad you have found this forum it will give you a place to voice your worries and anxiety.

Sending loads of love, wish I could give you a huge tight hug,but sending a virtual one as I can't.

Claire.

xxx 

Thank you claire your reply means alot this forum has been so usfull lots of storys and lots of positive outcomes , hope your doing ok ? I keep tryin to distract my self n then i keep having a feel of it seeing if it moves how big it is etc but tbh ive no idea ive had loads of lumps in the past i do have quite naturally lumpy boobs , my family no yes my sister had 2 lumps around 2ish years ago she got refurred and luckily it was fatty tissue x

Hello, it is really difficult to drag your mind out of those dark places ( believe me...I totally understand) this forum has been my sanity since my diagnosis....I will be thinking of you on Monday and don't loose sight of the fact that the odds are in your favour.....will be looking out for you on the forum xxxx

Thank you i keep imagining them saying the dreaded words its like hell , hope your doing ok 2 Marlyn. This forum is really helpfull to talk to people going through similar x

Yes, I too play it all out in my head.  I had a lumpectomy last week and go in next wed for my treatment plan. The ladies on here are priceless....don't know what I would have done without them xxx

I know how you feel hun, you arent alone. I also have a son & cant stop thinking that i will be leaving him, breaking his heart & not seeing all the important milestones in his life.

My husband is the only person that knows, ive been toying with the idea of telling mum & dad but i know it would distroy them so think i will wait until i know more atfer my clinic appointment.

This morning was the 1st time ive cried about it, i just woke up & had a breakdown, Thankfully my son was still asleep. Im at work now trying to take my mind off it but its never far away :( 

Try to be strong hun xxx

I have two one whos 4 and one who turns one on thursday so im finding it really hard im imagining all sorts of aches and pains n just sending my self Absoltly daft today so far is the only day ive not cried thats all ive done , hopefully this time next wrek this will all just be like a bad dream x

Yes hopefully it will be & you can celebrate your sons birthday without this on your mind.

Its my 39th on the 20th so im hoping i can celebrate without this hanging over my head.

Im the same hun feel like i need a complete MOT as my whole body hurts lols xx

Hopefully fingers crossed hope u get to celebrate your birthday with out the worry to x