Life sounds so difficult for you.   There have been times when I think I can't bear this but I do and I'm still here to tell the tale.  So I think this will be the case for you 

Many people find that waiting for  a diagnosis is the worst part of the processs.  It gets better once you have a treatment plan in place / you get the all clear. I'm no Dr, but there are many breast abnormalities that are not cancer and you might find this is true for you.

• There are things out there that can help you feel better - medication, exercise, distraction, help lines, one on on counseling etc.

Good luck and keep in touch

Good morning terror.  I am so sorry to hear about the awful time you have been having.  It seems that you have won one fight and now maybe facing another one.  It is hard waiting, but sometimes the symptoms that you are having can be something else other than breast cancer.  Your life has not been a waste at all.  You have fought one battle and you must be one very strong lady.  It seems that your Mum is being very supportive of you which is a very good thing.  I believe POTS can be very debilitating are you able to go on short walks every day, not too far from home.  I wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  I will keep talking to you as long as you want to.  Sending you big hugs.

Lee x

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

I'm so exhausted that all I can do is lie on the fold-out sofa bed in the living room. If I went for a walk it would make me feel worse. I spent all day yesterday watching flavourless daytime tv with my mum. Time still went at a crawl but it got easier as the day went on. Earlier in the day is the hardest so I'm at my very worst right now. I wish the helpline was open.

Thank you again for talking to me.

I'm really sorry you're having such a difficult time at the moment Terror.

Although our nurses helpline isn't open at the moment, there are other helplines you can call if it would help to speak to someone. 

The Samaritans are available on 116 123, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They are there to listen, without judgement, and will do all they can to support you.

The mental health charity Mind have a really useful list of listening services you can contact as well, so make sure you reach out to someone as they will work with you to help you make sense of what you are feeling

I can see you've received some lovely support from some of our members as well. I hope their kind words and advice are helping Terror and are providing you with some much needed comfort at this very challenging time.

Be kind to yourself Terror and remember that we will always be here for you when you need us.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response and all the resources. I will say that when I was suffering with PMDD I once called the NHS crisis line in the throes of uncontrollable panic and was told to 'sit outside' so I'm a little mistrustful of some mental health helplines. Maybe it's the case that people on helplines have more training for cancer as no one knows what PMDD is?

This may sound trivial but I find jigsaws very therapeutic.....

It's not trivial at all. I used to do 1000pc jigsaws while chugging camomile tea when I was having my PMDD attacks. Mum brought home a puzzle book so we're doing that right now but we may start another jigsaw if I'm up to it.

Hi Hopecalm  yes I also find jigsaws very therapeutic.  I am also doing a paint by numbers which I find so relaxing, it takes my mind off cancer when I am doing it. Hope you get some relaxation time terror.

Lee x