Eastendgirl thank you  xxx

You're welcome xx

Eastendgirl thank you for been there  I’ve just cried today I don’t know how to feel  I’m dreading tomorrow  but like you say it’s my body and I don’t think I will be able to make any decisions tomorrow I need to put things to my daughter and consider my options  xxxx

Hi Tango

I know how you feel, I think. Nothing in particular changed on Friday when the mdt met again other than saying it'll be chemo and arranging a first consultation. But I've taken am emotional nosedive and trying to recover.

Good that you have your daughter with you. As Eastend says, it's good to prepare some questions, take notes, have someone there if you can, and take your time over the decisions, which are yours.

I'm finding it daunting, like you are  to move to the next steps of hearing and discussing treatment. Objectively we know this is all part of the journey towards getting better, but it's tough.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Take care

Crying is a great release of so many emotions..  bottling everything up causes more stress and pain..

Just remember... your body, your decision..

Care, support and understanding from others is vital, still comes down to your choice xx

x

James4000 hi James I am sorry your feeling this way  it’s a emotional roller coaster I feel  my appointment is 11 in the morning then another appointment hour after to oncology to listen about the trials  the nurse is all for the trials as it’s her job to recruit people  but all I’m interested in what’s available standard treatment for me which I guess the consultant can tell me   It’s all a daunting and scary journey   All I do know is they want to start the treatment as soon as possible   Will let you both know what been said when I get back tomorrow.  Take care my special friends  xx

Hi tango..and James....   there is often a plan in place for diagnosis and   treatment for patients.. this gives the necessary research details for future generations..it's always been how medicine progresses.. why trials are carried out.. in conjunction with this, there may be a 'package'  a set path of treatment including the finances set aside to complete the plan...which is why many people feel pressured into making decisions,  often without the necessary information or understanding of what is planned....it can be daunting and difficult for the patient who is trying to navigate an unimaginable time... a different scenario for those who are dealing with these issues on a daily basis in the professional way they have been trained ..

Gentle hugs to you both  x

Afternoon Eastend, Tango and everyone else

Tango, I hope today's appointments have gone well for you. No doubt a lot to take in, but hopefully it will help you knowing that treatment plans are proposed and starting soon. 

I think I'll be there in a week or two. I'm seeing a surgeon on Thursday, an Oncologist on Monday and then hopefully a 2nd opinion at another hospital next week (which is a privilege for sure). I think I will freak out as the options and plans and consequences are set out, but I'll try to remain calm and focus on each step and the fact it's all moving towards treatment and cure.

Much love to you. Hope today is good news.

Hi James and tango

Along with James I've been thinking of you today.. feels like a reality check I'm sure but also a positive step towards better days..

Busy couple of weeks for you James and again a move towards answers and understanding of the journey ahead.. hopefully the 2nd opinion will be worthwhile and not affect your waiting time going forward..

Focusing on one step at a time is essential,  anything else is overwhelming and often pointless..

Stay strong and be kind to yourselves xx

James4000 hi James and Eastendgirl only just got back  I saw the surgeon first  he told me every thing about my tumour where exactly it’s situated  I told him what I thought was best for me and he agreed. I’m having operation in three to four weeks he is certain he can get it all out of my bowel with no stoma  but I wasn’t worried about that if I had one it wouldn’t bother me. Hopefully there might not be any need for chemo afterwards. Will have to wait and see on that one  I asked how long would I have if I did nothing he said 12 to 18 month as it would spread  he said eat what you want as he said I won’t get impacted  as the tumour isn’t blocking much  the tumour he said is confined to my bowel but he says the Blowel as layers and mine as gone to the last layer that’s where the bleeding comes from  I did go and listen to the consultant about chemo but I decided I wanted this cancer out of me then if it’s chemo then it is   I broke down in his office and cried  I was strong untill the point he said I was just unfortunate in getting this kind of cancer it was nothing to do with life style   Sorry for the long winded post  I’m still feeling lost and low xx

James 4000 forgot to say the tumour is T 2 

James 4000 forgot to say the tumour is T 2 

Which means into the muscle layer/wall of the bowel,  in case he didn't explain xx

Eastendgirl still feeling weepy  the consultant was really nice and explained every thing to me about the op sounded confident he can get it all out   Stage or grade of my tumour is T2   I’m scared of having a op but I know for me that’s a start to recovery  they did talk about chemo but I said I don’t think I will be good with that I explained about my anxiety attacks and stress so he said if I want the op then that’s ok.  Horrid bowel prep for the op loll x

Feeling weepy is natural and a release of the waiting for today,  another day to ️ off the list.. so glad the consultant was reassuring and listened to you..as for the prep, part of the journey,  soon be done xx

Hi Tango 

That all sounds really encouraging. I'm so happy for you.

Obviously overwhelming and emotional. Great that you can cry about it, to be honest. I've only cried twice during this whole ordeal, with times alone with my partner.

It sounds like the medical staff have been great, supportive and clear.

The surgeon's confidence in getting it all with no stoma too is really encouraging.

(I'm fairly sure mine is going to be more complicated as it's slightly more advanced than yours, so I'm fully expecting chemo or similar first, and so weeks/months until surgery. I'm desperately trying not to look too far ahead, but I struggle with staying in the present. I've had to double my anxiety meds [that o only started with the diagnosis])

But today is all about you. Sending you love and hugs. So happy that you have a clear plan and a very encouraging outlook from the surgeon.

Gentle hugs for you James4000 xx

Eastendgirl and james4000 don’t know what I would have done with out both of you   You both have and are my rock. I can’t stop crying today hopefully I won’t cry tomorrow  been a really long day finding different departments to the hospital  my consultant says there isn’t a waiting list for this surgery so he’s confident op will be three to four weeks.  My life as been overtaken with all of this. I’m a music student playing piano and I’m a singer but now all I feel is I have cancer. lots of love to you both xxxx

You are not and will not be determined by cancer..

You are a music student and singer, how wonderful and how special to learn a little about you.. so much for you to look forward to and fight for, which I know you will do..

Let the tears flow they are healing and will help you through the days ahead .. it's been a long hard day xx

You are not and will not be determined by cancer..

You are a music student and singer, how wonderful and how special to learn a little about you.. so much for you to look forward to and fight for, which I know you will do..

Let the tears flow they are healing and will help you through the days ahead .. it's been a long hard day xx